Meh, ticked off my therapist but don't know how?


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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #1  February 11,2010, 6:47am
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So I have a new therapist, a young gal rather green in the profession. I ticked her off in our last appointment, not sure why or how.

We were trying to resolve an issue with a girl in my life right now, for some reason the girl holds me in some crazy high esteem. I suggested to the therapist that I tell the girl of all my failures in life, then she would stop holding me in such esteem. The therapist said, "So either you're this great person or you're a loser." I shrugged the whole loser thing off, and said, "well if it works, than it works." The therapist, said, "don't you think there is a more truthful way of going about it." I couldn't think of one. "She said, fine. The answer is simple 'Just write thanks for the compliment and said it back to her." I said, ok it works for me.

Then she proceeded to ask me how I felt that she used the word loser to refer to me. I said, I didn't much care. We ended the appointment, and she said as long as I got something out of the therapy then I was welcome to come. I was like ok. She seemed rather frustrated about the whole thing.

So what gives, any suggestions?
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #2  February 11,2010, 6:57am

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it's clear you don't buy into the process, so why have a therapist at all?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  February 11,2010, 6:58am
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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And how do you feel about all that?
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  February 11,2010, 7:07am
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Sounds like you are giving her advice because you doubt her experience. You came to her for help, but don't trust her. I 'm sure she picks up on your power struggle there.
justme27 wrote :
So I have a new therapist, a young gal rather green in the profession. I ticked her off in our last appointment, not sure why or how.
We were trying to resolve an issue with a girl in my life right now, for some reason the girl holds me in some crazy high esteem. I suggested to the therapist that I tell the girl of all my failures in life, then she would stop holding me in such esteem. The therapist said, "So either you're this great person or you're a loser." I shrugged the whole loser thing off, and said, "well if it works, than it works." The therapist, said, "don't you think there is a more truthful way of going about it." I couldn't think of one. "She said, fine. The answer is simple 'Just write thanks for the compliment and said it back to her." I said, ok it works for me.
Then she proceeded to ask me how I felt that she used the word loser to refer to me. I said, I didn't much care. We ended the appointment, and she said as long as I got something out of the therapy then I was welcome to come. I was like ok. She seemed rather frustrated about the whole thing.
So what gives, any suggestions?
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #5  February 11,2010, 7:10am
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scarlet13 wrote :
it's clear you don't buy into the process, so why have a therapist at all?
No way Scarlet, therapy has helped me immensely! I'm just not certain why this therapist is frustrated with me. I mean she's the one who called me a loser, like what the helk? Am I supposed to have some sort of epiphany because of that? I don't know what she is trying to achieve.
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #6  February 11,2010, 7:13am
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tweet37 wrote :
And how do you feel about all that?
Hey tweet while hilarious, your point is only partially correct. There are some therapist that focus on feelings and bs like that. I however, focus on cognition. I'm just saying.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #7  February 11,2010, 7:31am

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justme27 wrote :
No way Scarlet, therapy has helped me immensely! I'm just not certain why this therapist is frustrated with me. I mean she's the one who called me a loser, like what the helk? Am I supposed to have some sort of epiphany because of that? I don't know what she is trying to achieve.
basically, read wiseman's post above.

that is why she is frustrated- you clearly do not respect her, so she cannot help you until you do.
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #8  February 11,2010, 8:10am
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Ok Scarlet and Wiseman, I did in fact follow her advice on how to deal with the situation. I told her I would and I did. The reason I made the suggestion I did is because part of the therapeutic process is coming up with your own solutions. So I wasn't trying to impose my opinion without her direction, it's just part of the process that I come up with my own answers.

I'm very cautious with therapists because a bad one can unravel a lot of good work you have done with a good one. I have a good one but he is too expensive for me right now, so I can't see him. This one is rather affordable so I see her.

Maybe, I'll just look for a new therapist.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #9  February 11,2010, 8:15am
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justme27 wrote :
So I have a new therapist, a young gal rather green in the profession. I ticked her off in our last appointment, not sure why or how.

We were trying to resolve an issue with a girl in my life right now, for some reason the girl holds me in some crazy high esteem. I suggested to the therapist that I tell the girl of all my failures in life, then she would stop holding me in such esteem. The therapist said, "So either you're this great person or you're a loser." I shrugged the whole loser thing off, and said, "well if it works, than it works." The therapist, said, "don't you think there is a more truthful way of going about it." I couldn't think of one. "She said, fine. The answer is simple 'Just write thanks for the compliment and said it back to her." I said, ok it works for me.

Then she proceeded to ask me how I felt that she used the word loser to refer to me. I said, I didn't much care. We ended the appointment, and she said as long as I got something out of the therapy then I was welcome to come. I was like ok. She seemed rather frustrated about the whole thing.

So what gives, any suggestions?
Black and white thinking. Either, or. Good, evil. Yes, or no.
Your black and white thinking was frustrating her. She was trying to get you to find another solution other then one or the other.
When we are young we think in these terms. As we age we start seeing that life isnt black and white. There are a heck of a lot of grey areas.
Look for another therapist. Not that she is a bad one. Hopefully you can find one who can help you find the grey without getting frustrated.
 
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nophotos is offline nophotos Post #10  February 11,2010, 8:38am
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I also think a great therapist can be a terrific positive force in my life.

My therapist still challenges me on my firmly held beliefs - about myself and others. Not in a confrontational way, but with questions that make me stop and think. Funny thing is I rarely think about it when I'm sitting there, but 2, 3, 5 days down the road it hits me.

When I was living with an alcoholic I joined a support group. One of the things I learned there is to act "as if." Part of that is accepting compliments with a simple thank you. It was very difficult in the beginning but today comes very naturally to me. I've come a far way from the person who used to apologize for breathing

I can't guess as to her frustration (or your perception of it ), but maybe it's because she's still fairly young.

Did you talk to your other therapist about your financial situation? When I was in a bad place, mine kept seeing me; don't know if that's possible in your case. Good luck with it all - I'm rooting for you!
 
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