I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.


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Chris313 is offline Chris313 Post #1  February 8,2010, 12:09pm
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Or rather, I have an aversion to people who would want to date someone like me.

I’m almost 34, living with my folks, and have taken a break from school in order to look for work. That doesn’t sound all that appealing as a partner to me.


Am I over thinking things, or is there some sort of mad logic to all of this?
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #2  February 8,2010, 12:17pm

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Chris313 wrote :
I’m almost 34, living with my folks
I doubt that's what anyone is looking for, so although it may be hypocritical of you, I can understand why you'd find someone in a situation such as yourself undesirable. I've always considered it best to work to get yourself where you want to be first before you start trying to find someone that will believe you're actually going to get to where you claim/think you will.
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #3  February 8,2010, 12:24pm
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-- double post
Last edited by goosielucy; February 8,2010 at 3:17pm.
 
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bwise is offline bwise Post #4  February 8,2010, 12:24pm
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It sounds to me like you need to get to a point in your life where you are happy with yourself before dating. Low self esteem is never attractive. I think this is more of a problem for yourself than a potential date.
 
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Chris313 is offline Chris313 Post #5  February 8,2010, 12:28pm
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My issue is more that I don't think that I'd want to date someone who would want to date me given my current situation. It's less about who the person is and more about the willingness on their part to date someone in a rather low end state, such as myself.

Oddly enough, if I was in better standings, I don't think I'd have a problem dating someone in my current situation. That's a bit odd, I guess, but who doesn't like double standards?
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #6  February 8,2010, 12:30pm
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but the thing is, life happens. you could get a great job and house - and a la the economy of the past two years - find yourself back at your parent's house looking for work.
 
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bwise is offline bwise Post #7  February 8,2010, 12:34pm
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lil_lamb wrote :
but the thing is, life happens. you could get a great job and house - and a la the economy of the past two years - find yourself back at your parent's house looking for work.
Excellent point. There are always outside circumstances.
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #8  February 8,2010, 12:36pm
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Surely you have some other qualities beyond the ones you mentioned. How about focusing on those while you work on the things you'd like to improve or change?

That said, you might want to give the dating efforts a break until your self-image recovers a bit.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  February 8,2010, 12:41pm
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Chris313 wrote :
My issue is more that I don't think that I'd want to date someone who would want to date me given my current situation. It's less about who the person is and more about the willingness on their part to date someone in a rather low end state, such as myself.
Exactly! I think this is how most guys think. They think more of a woman that wants them when they are at the peak of their career (etc.) and a lot of it has to do with how important career is for many men. Its where they get a lot of their self-esteem.
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #10  February 8,2010, 12:47pm
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Famous Woody Allen line. I used to be a fan of Woody Allen for the longest time. Not so much anymore. There is order in chaos, so they say.

I think you will be fine. Maybe you are just a bit stuck in your head and need to get out there and interact with the world and feel better about yourself. Works for me.
 
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