califloridan is offline califloridan Post #1  February 8,2010, 5:43am
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So if I put that I'm a widow and that I have 2 children do you think that will make guys run for the hills? I would think that it would actually be a positive thing, no ex's to deal with. Or should I just put single?
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  February 8,2010, 5:56am
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If you are honest and upfront on your profile now, This will limit the guys who will "poof" on you later when the information is revealed. I feel this will save you a bit of frustration in the long run.

There are going to be men that accept you either way. Basically what I am suggesting by putting in their now, is to weed out those who will not right of the bat... make sense?
Last edited by TrekRyder10; February 8,2010 at 6:22am. Reason: posting with a hangover.. not good
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  February 8,2010, 6:12am
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I would recommend putting it in your profile somewhere but don't dwell on it. It will save an awkward conversation stopper later on when he learns of your status.

There are guys who will head for the hills but let them. They'll bug out anyway later after you've wasted time with them.

One of the things that gets me about eH is they ask your status at the beginning of filling out your profile but then they don't list it. They used to list Single or Divorced but now I'm hearing they don't do that anymore. Another perceived improvement I guess.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  February 8,2010, 6:00pm
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If an online dating site has a choice of status, and you don't choose it honestly, don't come complaining when I dump you for lying.

Widow is far prefereable to divorced.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  February 8,2010, 6:24pm
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Always be honest in listing your status. You are a widow, so list yourself as one. For some (like D_Lion) that would be a plus. For others, they may have reservations about whether you are healed or whether they'll measure up to the memory/ghost of your husband. If someone will have a problem with it, you'd rather know sooner than later.

Regardless, you need to list yourself as "widow" rather than "single." Most people interpret single to mean never married, and that is not true in your case. eHarmony, however, doesn't list a marital status in its profiles (you have to be never married, divorced, or widowed to join... hence available). If that is the dating site you wish to use, you should still make your status known to your matches early on.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  February 9,2010, 10:45pm
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There are men who run away if they find out a woman is widowed rather than divorced?

How messed up is that?

Do women do this, too?
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #7  February 9,2010, 11:25pm
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wrote :
Do women do this, too?
i should think not.
 
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tammiejo is offline tammiejo Post #8  February 10,2010, 12:53pm
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I just wanted to reply, as I share the same anxiety as you do. I have been widowed just over 2 years, and I just now feel like branching out. I'm finding that the guys go one of 2 ways; they go on and on about how sorry they are (it's nice, but I really don't want to talk about my husband with them.). OR they automatically think I'm easy and have too many children (5 step kids and 1 natural daughter who is the only one at home at 15). I really don't know what to do. I always tell the truth, but it hurts to re-live the experience over and over, and to have someone not interested in me because of that. Does that even make sense? LOL!
Good Luck.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  February 11,2010, 12:20pm
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Totally agree with this. no ex in the picture, and the end of the relationship can't be blamed on the personality problems of either one.
D_Lion wrote :
If an online dating site has a choice of status, and you don't choose it honestly, don't come complaining when I dump you for lying.
Widow is far preferable to divorced.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  February 11,2010, 1:36pm
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lil_lamb wrote :
i should think not.
So men have a problem dating someone who is widowed, but women don't?

Why do I find it hard to believe that?
 
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