Iconography is offline Iconography Post #1  February 5,2010, 9:42am
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got her own goat!

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I'd promised an update on my own little eH saga, in which I was matched with a fellow on the opposite coast, an international traveler, with whom I corresponded for some five months before finally meeting.

As we suspected, we hit it off wonderfully in person. We spent time together as he undertook one of the many aspects of his job (he's a photographer and scientist, among other things) and it could not have gone better. Great conversations, sympathies for the other's points of view, shared things about our childhoods... we "get" each other. And we find each other physically attractive.

But it won't work. Although I broke through some important barriers, I have more issues than I'd realized when it comes to sex (I'm still a virgin at age 44), and... well... you know. (See the thread I started, "Accepting Attractiveness," which I think contains at least some of the details of my past.) I contemplate therapy, which might help, but have no insurance and can't afford it. And he isn't going to wait, not when the problems seem to run as they do.

So we have a friendship--he does want us to do things together, platonically--but I think I might let that lapse. When he finds the right woman, I don't think I could stand it.

But I'm grateful for the time we spent together, and for all the good advice I've encountered on these boards. It has all been an invaluable learning experience, both about myself and about others. So I going back to my hermit ways wiser about the human condition and about myself, and I can't ask for more than that.
 
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nophotos is offline nophotos Post #2  February 5,2010, 1:41pm
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is enjoying life

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Iconography

There are many, many well-qualified therapists who will work with you on sliding scale. I'd suggest asking your GP for a reference.

I'm glad you found someone with whom you have so much in common. I hope it can work out somehow.

((( )))
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  February 5,2010, 2:12pm
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Ack - a reference to another thread, without the detail to comment ...
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #4  February 5,2010, 2:31pm
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Iconography......what about Employee Assistance Program? Most employers have it and it will refer you to a counselor for many, many different things. Normally, you will get at least 5 free sessions.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #5  February 5,2010, 2:44pm
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got her own goat!

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First: I'm sorry, Froggy. I'd forgotten how bad eHA's search function is. The thread is here:

Accepting Attractivness (Accepting Attractiveness?)

Post #36 probably has most of the details I'm referring to at the moment. Other details are too scattered throughout the boards to point to.

I have neither GP (haven't had insurance for years) nor employer (I freelance). A friend of mine is going to make an inquiry or two with medical professionals of her acquaintance, but I am not holding out much hope. Forty-four years can't be dealt with in a reasonable period of time ("reasonable" so far as my match is concerned; he has his own needs and circumstances, of course...)

(I thank you for your advice & support.... I'm in kind of a bad place, geographically, at the moment--not one unsafe, just difficult and no, not at my match's, but not at my own home, either, simply a place with no privacy--and am having a hard time keeping myself together.)
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  February 5,2010, 3:14pm
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I'm sorry I completely missed that thread. I'm usually here enough to spot most of them.

I am unclear about your topic though ...

Are you suggesting your match wanted sex, and that produced a difficulty during your meeting?

Something else?
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #7  February 5,2010, 3:22pm
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What do you mean, you are not at a good place, geographically? And you are having a hard time keeping yourself together?

I am a concerned!!!

Can you share a little more? Please?!
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #8  February 5,2010, 4:13pm
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Yes, Iconography, please let us know how we can help you. Until we have further info please know I am sending good thoughts your way.

Please do not give up hope yet. Surely we can come up with something to help you.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #9  February 5,2010, 4:39pm
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I missed that thread as well. I'm going to read it and then will be sending a PM. Do not hide from us. You know how hard-headed I am and I really can't do a road-trip right now, but I know people who know people.

Seriously, check your PMs, give yourself a bit to grieve, and then bring your good heart and your common sense back to us. We need you.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #10  February 5,2010, 4:49pm
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Icon, if you're still checking in, PM me. Aside from being concerned about you (which I am) I'd just like it if you stayed in touch. Writers need to stick together. If you don't want to do that, that's okay, but do take care.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; February 9,2010 at 5:50am.
 
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