The Romantic Power of Forgiveness


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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #1  February 4,2010, 1:17pm

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Great article!!!!
 
 
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Dominion is offline Dominion Post #2  February 4,2010, 2:55pm
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I agree, fantastic article. I try to look at each relationship as a new start, so forgiveness is something that I need to look at giving first and foremost to a person who has transgressed against me. Sometimes it's hard to give. I belive that I can forgive, but not forget, and thus learn from what had happened in the past, not to the point to make sure it never happens again, but to be aware of the things that have happened in the past and make the appropriate changes. That way I can give my new partner the best opportunity for a new and fresh start in the relationship. Afterall... it's only fair and the right thing to do.
 
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kayla4brains is offline kayla4brains Post #3  February 4,2010, 4:44pm
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Agreed, but how do you get there???
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #4  February 4,2010, 6:21pm
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Yes, do forgve. But still, don't ignore the fact that you you have learned warning signs. After all, the line between being forgiving and being stupid is a fine one.
Last edited by Oregon_Coast_Guy; February 4,2010 at 6:28pm.
 
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JillG is offline JillG Post #5  February 5,2010, 5:04am
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Why are some of the most important things always so hard? Holding on to past resentments from old relationships has definitely hurt other relationships in my life.
Resentments are poisonous.

I try to practice using gratitude in healthy doses to help me stay out of resentments. It takes practice, but it works.

You gotta forgive! :-)
 
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LocalSEO is offline LocalSEO Post #6  February 5,2010, 9:47pm
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Forgiveness is easy to say but is really hard if you're in the situation. It takes time to forget the one who hurts you especially when you invested emotionally...
 
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VolGal is offline VolGal Post #7  February 6,2010, 6:18am
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Time. It just takes time. And for me, physically expressing that anger that keys into the sadness helps. For instance, I love music. And I have a particular album by a well known artist and it has some "break up songs" on it. I play them loud and really enjoy them. And physical exercise helps. It clears your mind.
 
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AA2010 is offline AA2010 Post #8  February 6,2010, 7:07am
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Forgiveness takes time and understanding. Understanding that we all have our triggers and weaknesses, know what they are, and step back to review the transgressions as an observer or someone watching a movie. Ask honest questions: why is this a trigger for me and is this transgression an unacceptable behavior. No one can cause emotional damage without our permission. This is my light bulb moment - that we as souls cannot be damaged and we are actually the one who has to allow being hurt. So actually, there is nothing to forgive, as we are here to learn these life lessons. That said, no free passes to losers who wilfully or unconsciously cause grief to others.
 
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Dominion is offline Dominion Post #9  February 6,2010, 6:19pm
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I've found forgiveness happens when you have forgiven yourself, had time to reflect on what has happened, and there is a certain amount of distance involved. Yes, distance. For me, and I can only speak for myself, I have found that all of those factors help me greatly in dealing with certain heartaches.

Perhaps this would be beneficial for you too.
 
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chalvers is offline chalvers Post #10  February 7,2010, 8:30am
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It takes time to understand and believe in someone if you have been a victim in past relationships.  I recently locked myself out of my house while I was out on a date.  I had to have my date bring me to get a key from my son's house 2 miles away.  I had a strong reaction to the event and was even shaking.  I was expecting a reaction similar to one that my ex would have had but it didn't happen.  My date asked me what was wrong and I just looked at him expecting to be put down and yelled at for my stupidity.  It takes time to change old thought patterns, but over time and with trust, it gets a lot better.
 
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