What's your input on being "traditional"


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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #1  February 4,2010, 10:31am
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I guess being "traditional" is subject to interpretation. When I think of traditional, I think of Victorian-area repression e.g. arranged marriage, dowries, obedience, sex after marriage, long sleeved lingerie and the inability to drive/work/vote. However, that's my interpretation...

What about you do you believe in progression or tradition? Why?
What's your interpretation of being traditional in the dating world?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  February 4,2010, 10:51am
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KungFuFtr wrote :
What's your interpretation of being traditional in the dating world?
A woman who says she's "Traditional" in the dating world means she wants the guy to be the cruise ship director and financier of the relationship.

I traditionally close these women out.
 
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suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #3  February 4,2010, 10:51am
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When I think of traditional, I think more of the dynamic of a relationship ... man as provider and woman as caretaker. I do think there is something fundamental about this arrangement. Women evolved to be nuturing while men evolved to hunt and provide (obviously a vast over-simplification, but you get the point). To deny this is to deny our natural tendencies.

That being said, I am very glad we live in a time where it is a choice whether or not to go with the traditional route. I am both very traditional and very non-traditional. I like to cook, clean, and take care of my friends and family. It fulfills something very powerful and fundamental in me. However, I also enjoy running my business and providing. I am open to any possible future division of labor with my partner. Maybe some day I will want to stay home with my kids. Maybe someday my husband will want to stay home with the kids. Maybe we will share that responsibility, or maybe we will both choose to work full-time. I love that we live in a time where any of these options is a possibility.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #4  February 4,2010, 10:54am
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I think of gentlemenly behavior, modesty, children as a high priority, allowing for gender differences instead of plastering over them.

Certainly it's possible to get overly nostalgic and optimistic about the past...there is plenty to criticize, but compared to many "modern" attitudes about family and relationships (put yourself first, sacrifice is a bad thing, having close parental involvement with children isn't as important as having two incomes, etc...), I'm happy to describe myself as more traditionally-oriented.
 
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richey is online now richey Post #5  February 4,2010, 10:57am
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Nicely done Tweet! lol.

"Traditional" in dating, just how it comes off to me, is about the "traditional gender roles" as Tweet said. But I think I've heard some creative ones too on top of that like, "it's the man's job to take out the garbage" or fix the house or mow the lawn or wash the wife's car, etc. So really, it's evolved into (essentially), "the opposite gender is supposed to do everything" catch-all.

What do I think about "traditional roles?" I think they are inappropriate for this day in age. What with a lot of single-parent homes, dual-income homes, females now in positions of power and management, etc. I find it very odd that in "mainstream society" traditional roles have been dropped for "equality", and yet in the dating world so many people cling to and resist in doing the same in the bedroom.

What gives with that? You either go all the way with this stuff or you don't go with it at all, know what I mean?

Richey
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #6  February 4,2010, 11:12am
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The thing about being traditional that I can't relate to is any desire to have a leader in one's life.

I cannot imagine wanting someone to tell me what to do. Pretty much ever.

I don't seek traditional. I seek having a mate that is a partner that works well with me.

Did you ever work in your occupation with someone where you could complete tasks very easily without even talking? You just knew what the other person was going to do so you just worked around each other.

I do think that there are ways to make a woman feel like a woman without adhering to any rules.

The occassional symbolic traditional gesture would be more my style.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #7  February 4,2010, 11:18am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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I live alone. So there's no gender divide. I do all the chores, pay all the costs and I bear all the responsibilities.

When I've been in relationships we did things for each other because we just did and sometimes because they better matched what we happened to be good at. I can't envisage being any different than that. So I'm inclined to see my self as more progressive person.

Having said that my Mum & Dad are pretty traditional. They're retired now but when they were at work my Dad would get up first and put my Mum's shoes on the radiator so that by the time my Mum put them on to go to work they were nice and warm. That woman never put a foot into a cold shoe as long as I can remember. Now I don't know if this is down to tradition or whether it's simply the actions of a couple of people who really care for each other ~ but I wouldn't mind some of this kind of love the next time I'm in a relationship, I really wouldn't.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  February 4,2010, 11:20am
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KungFuFtr wrote :
I guess being "traditional" is subject to interpretation. When I think of traditional, I think of Victorian-area repression e.g. arranged marriage, dowries, obedience, sex after marriage, long sleeved lingerie and the inability to drive/work/vote. However, that's my interpretation...
That seems like a pretty extreme definition- except I would hope there is sex after marriage.

Are there many guys out there saying they really want a woman who can't drive or doesn't work?

A more common definition would include things like this:
The man plans and leads most of the dates.
The man does the pursuing.
The man proposes marriage, if it gets that far.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  February 4,2010, 11:36am

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tweet37 wrote :
A woman who says she's "Traditional" in the dating world means she wants the guy to be the cruise ship director and financier of the relationship.

I traditionally close these women out.
Don't forget chauffeur, door man, baggage handler, bag carrier, handy man, flower man, candy man, personal chef
 
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greeneyedlillies is offline greeneyedlillies Post #10  February 4,2010, 11:44am
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My last relationship started off traditionally. We met, started dating 6 months later, 1 month before 1st kiss, 1 year before intercourse (he was my first), dated for a total of 3 years before marriage. Married for several years before the kids were born. I was a SAHM most of the relationship, and hated it. Please do not get me wrong. I love my children, but I am not stay at home mom material. I want to work, and I love going to school. I think that the best relationships are a mix of traditional and modern relationships. Take the stuff that worked from each and use it.
 
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