What's your input on being "traditional"


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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #51  February 15,2010, 5:53am
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jcw001 wrote :
I certainly hope there are at least some that will not be critical of this way of inter-relating... or else I am going to be single for the rest of my life.
Yep, there are still a few like who like the traditional roles (at least a modified version of them). Sorry, I just don't want to be the leader in a relationship. I have to be tough and fearlesss all day, I absolutely don't want to be when I get home.

As far as my own outlook, and I'm sure I'm not alone, I'm looking for a fairly traditional relationship, BUT that doesn't mean I want a man who takes me for granted or doesn't see what I can contribute. If he's a smart man, he'll be willing to listen when I know more about an issue than he does. If he can't see what I have to offer, we won't get along, traditional or not.

AndieIsMe wrote :
listererik, I totally agree that outside of "dating" it should be more 50/50. I think a couple should complement each other. If I do something well, let me do it. Same goes for him. Hopefully I will catch a guy that understand this more.
Complementing each other is absolutely the goal!

Even in the tradtional roles, both really can contribute fairly equally. The picture of the woman sitting at home, working on her needlepoint in a voluminous dress while her husband is out earning a living is not typical of the population back in the day.

In reality, they were more likely out in the field, working side by side. Women back in those days were tougher out of neccessity than we think, and a good husband saw his wife as a valuable asset. A bad husband? Well, he's a bad husband regardless of gender roles.

scarlet13 wrote :
I think it's a little misleading to expect a man to be traditional in dating but not in a relationship-unless that's specifically stated, of course.

I always approached dating with the possibility of a eventual relationship, so it doesn't make sense to me to confuse a man by expecting him to pay for dates and/or plan stuff when i have no intention of doing that in the future.

once in a relationship, whoever knows more about cars should take care of the auto repairs, and whoever is the better folder should do the laundry.

these days, women do not step from daddy's house to their husbands, so I'm sure they have to manage stuff other than cooking and cleaning.
True dat.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #52  February 15,2010, 10:59am
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jussmile wrote :
I just went on a coffee date, and the guy was almost scared to ask me to walk me to my car. I guess he's had some bad experiences in the past. He explained that he believed in being a gentleman, so we just had to get that out of the way now if that's not what I was comfortable with... He's the second guy today that I've communicated with that felt the need to "defend" being a gentleman. Geeze.... that's sad IMO.
I can see where some women might not want to be walked to the car in that situation, if they think the guy might try to take advantage of them, or they don't want him to know what car they drive.

But as for things like opening doors, if a woman had a problem with me doing that for her, I'd take it as a really bad sign. It's not just traditional, it's a polite thing. I certainly wouldn't apologize for it.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #53  February 15,2010, 6:34pm
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mrflyer wrote :
I can see where some women might not want to be walked to the car in that situation, if they think the guy might try to take advantage of them, or they don't want him to know what car they drive.

But as for things like opening doors, if a woman had a problem with me doing that for her, I'd take it as a really bad sign. It's not just traditional, it's a polite thing. I certainly wouldn't apologize for it.

I agree a think guys need to just act the way that you feel most comfortable... just be you. Other than the "safety" aspect of walking a woman to her car on the first date (it is okay to ask first in this case, and be understanding if the answer is no). But, if a woman doesn't accept you for the kind of man you are... whether that's being more traditional or not being more traditional, then that's probably not the one for you anyway!
 
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