Can Love be Sweeter the Second Time Around?

Can Love be Sweeter the Second Time Around?

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Can Love be Sweeter the Second Time Around?


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Cathy61 is offline Cathy61 Post #1  January 15,2010, 9:51am
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I went through the jealousy, drama, fighting and insecurity in my earlier relationships.  So did my boyfriend.  Now I just want love and peace.  I do not need to fight, complain, control or cause any pressure or discomfort.
Yeah so much better the second time around.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #2  January 15,2010, 12:38pm
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Love is definitely sweeter the second time around. Now I just hope it'll be just as sweet if a third time comes along.
 
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bluskies4ever is offline bluskies4ever Post #3  January 24,2010, 2:53pm
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Once I read in a magazine that when a man has been through a "shaping experience", eg the death of a loved one, he is a good catch, as these shaping experiences build character.  I liked the detail about making the bed every morning.  Dr. Warren doesn't sugarcoat it in his books - he says relationships are hard work.  I've read his two books twice, and will probably read them again in the future.  Lots of sound, sane, realistic and uplifting counsel in his books and in the preceding article.
If we didn't have children, then I would nurse my sick husband.  I never forgot that lovely Theraflu commercial with the nice hubby taking care of his ailing wife.  That commercial made me feel good, like chicken soup.
Foster kids are cute.  That's a possibility for the childless.  Do kids read books like Bless the Beasts and the Children and Go Ask Alice these days or is it just cheap techie toys for the little ones?
 
 
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #4  January 24,2010, 7:48pm
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is so in love!!

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I hope it's better the second time around. I'm still waiting. I am older, much older than the last time I fell in love-so I hope I am also wiser. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore so that should help also. Hoping to find out soon.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #5  January 27,2010, 3:18am
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That was a wonderful tale about Joe and Lisa*. I wish them the best.



I suppose that 2d, 3rd, .... nth time around you can at least be expected to know something more about yourself. So should do better at the work the makes a relationship grow and prosper.



Still, I couldn't help think that Lisa may have much more to learn. Many women describe ex-husbands as "controlling." Just as men allege their wives were "mad." Even if such were that common (and the odds are that it isn't) The issue is about You not Them. No point blaming others for mistakes you may have made.

The question should be how you will conduct yourself now. In your tale there is nothing in it to say that Joe isn't controlling as well. How will Lisa deal with such? How will Lisa conduct herself toward Joe in general.



Sweeter! What does that mean? I can't imagine anything as sweet or intense as the first time I love a woman. We married, lived through turbulent times, had 3 children, divorced, then she died soon after. I couldn't stand to be with her (nor she me) But I'll love her each day till I die. No more or less than my other other great love of my life. That just tapered out.



Another relationship being sweeter. I doubt it. Richer, more nurturing, exciting to be sure. Learning about someone new can / should be about all those things.



But "sweetness" disappears with youth, as it should. It requires naivety.



* pseudonym or made up characters I assume
Last edited by Fleuellen; January 27,2010 at 3:22am.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  January 27,2010, 5:29am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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They say that with each successive marriage the odds of getting divorced are higher than in a first marriage. It would seem that objectively the second time around is more likely to be bad.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #7  January 27,2010, 3:14pm

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Fleuellen wrote :
snip for brevity

Another relationship being sweeter. I doubt it. Richer, more nurturing, exciting to be sure. Learning about someone new can / should be about all those things.

But "sweetness" disappears with youth, as it should. It requires naivety.
I'm with Fleuellen on this..sweetness, to me, indicates a juvenile-a naive person learning about love. Young girls are sweet. Older people are experienced.

The drama and jealousy of my youth-well gone and good for it! I don't want to be that woman any more, nor do I want a man who can provoke that drama.

I can have just as much passion and love with a more mature man-in fact better loving with a more mature man who has the experience to know what pleases his woman, what real intimacy is about and how to take the time to develop a true and fulfilling relationship.

Love and life isn't a romance novel-
 
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suzyque is offline suzyque Post #8  January 27,2010, 3:39pm
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Thinking about what Jayjay said...why is it that the divorce rate is higher the second time around? I would think we divorcees go into remarriage with our eyes open a bit wider and think with our head a bit more. We don't want to repeat the mistakes we made the first time. Lots of us have had therapy, self reflection etc....I don't get that statistic. Here's my take: I think bring two sets of kids into a marriage adds stress definetely. Different parenting styles, kids don't get along etc... Also could it be many people who divorce do it for cavalier reasons and enter into a new marriage with that laissez faire attitude? If it works...great, if not, I'm out of here. Not all divorcees, but some? Anybody venture a guess?
 
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oprlvr is offline oprlvr Post #9  February 19,2010, 7:23pm
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As a Believer (and a former spouse), I know through Faith, love can be sweeter, the second time. We've all made relationship (and some of us, marriage) mistakes.... but moving forward....

I trust my Lord when His timing is right, He will lead that Mr. Right into my life... and this time, it will be RIGHT
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  February 20,2010, 7:27pm
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
I'm with Fleuellen on this..sweetness, to me, indicates a juvenile-a naive person learning about love. Young girls are sweet. Older people are experienced.
Let's check with my friend the dictionary. Sweet means "amiable; kind or gracious" which says nothing about age.

Sometimes I wonder what's up around here.
 
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