How long without sex? Looking back was it a good thing?


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curlygirlpdx is offline curlygirlpdx Post #1  December 16,2009, 9:54pm
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I'm wondering for those of you out there that have experienced a long period of time without sex, looking back, was it a good thing? What purpose did it serve in future relationships?

I'm going on 3 years without--actually in March it will be 3 years. I'm thinking I will definitely hit that mark since I'm not involved with anyone and would really like to get to know someone to develop a certain level of trust and intimacy before sex. So I'm trying to think of this time as a good thing. . .so I want to get other's perspectives on this.

Is a long period of abstinence a good thing?
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #2  December 17,2009, 3:18am
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It is what it is. Without confirming or denying a relatively long stretch of forced-celebacy :-), I don't necessarily consider it a 'good' thing ...nor do I necessarily consider it a 'bad' thing.

I think, however, that for most people, it's a bad thing overall. Going for long periods without any intimacy whatsoever (physical or emotional) tends to make people want to jump on the first ship that comes along, eagerly and without always thinking.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  December 17,2009, 5:33am
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its not good or bad. its also not the center of my universe either way with lots of it or none of it.
 
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trackstar is offline trackstar Post #4  December 17,2009, 6:17am
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I don't believe in abstinence, for abstinence's sake, and I never have, but I think that incidental abstinence can be a good thing (just as it can be a bad thing as stated by the Beagle). Throughout college, it freed me up to focus on school and work and enjoying my friends. I was young, with no plans to remain in the area, and I really don't think I was ready to be in a long-term relationship. So, I definitely don't look back on it with regret and think "Geez, I wish I'd had a ton of casual sex!"

As to present relationships, I don't know what influence it has. Certainly nothing bad. I don't think most people are going to wish that their partners slept with more people.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  December 17,2009, 6:47am
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The longest period recently was 7 months, currently going on 3 months. I don't think it is a bad thing or a good thing, but I am a 21 year old guy, not so sure I wouldn't want to go a year without.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  December 17,2009, 7:06am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
It is what it is. Without confirming or denying a relatively long stretch of forced-celebacy :-), I don't necessarily consider it a 'good' thing ...nor do I necessarily consider it a 'bad' thing.

I think, however, that for most people, it's a bad thing overall. Going for long periods without any intimacy whatsoever (physical or emotional) tends to make people want to jump on the first ship that comes along, eagerly and without always thinking.
I have to think that you have expressed this very well.
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #7  December 17,2009, 7:14am
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Its been over a year for me, and clearly not a good thing. It certainly wasn't planned. It is a case of forced celibacy. I don't see it ending anytime soon.
 
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Edmondo is offline Edmondo Post #8  December 17,2009, 7:58am
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Mine was two years and no I didnt like it.
That was before EH. I am horrible at small talk and cant hook up in bars. Match making services were very expensive.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #9  December 17,2009, 8:00am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
It is what it is. Without confirming or denying a relatively long stretch of forced-celebacy :-), I don't necessarily consider it a 'good' thing ...nor do I necessarily consider it a 'bad' thing.

I think, however, that for most people, it's a bad thing overall. Going for long periods without any intimacy whatsoever (physical or emotional) tends to make people want to jump on the first ship that comes along, eagerly and without always thinking.

Very much agreed. Waiting over ten years for no valid reason /quick marriage/marital disaster, 10 years later = proved you correct.
 
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Tacomalover is offline Tacomalover Post #10  December 17,2009, 8:08am
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I agree with most people on here! Forced celibacy is definitely not a good thing.. sex is not just something we do.. i mean yes.. everyone has their days when you just gotta do it right then and there, but sex is something that relaxs you, helps you sleep, helps you feel connected to your partner, and many more reasons.

Personally, I feel its something that people should do as often as they can, but being single can sometimes put a damper on things..
 
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