How long without sex? Looking back was it a good thing?


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curlygirlpdx is offline curlygirlpdx Post #21  December 17,2009, 7:06pm
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Hey Roxy in PDX!

Thanks for the good advice, it helps put things in perspective. I will proceed gently!!!
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #22  December 18,2009, 2:44am
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FebruaryStars wrote :
The responses here are a little scary. I am assuming that most of you are single and obviously on EHarmony looking for that someone special. It seems counterproductive to me to be having sex with someone just to have sex with someone and then be searching on Eharmony. Personally, sex is a great and wonderful experience, but I usually feel an emotional connection to the person that I am having sex with. So I ask how can you be open to meeting someone new when you are having sex with someone else? Call me crazy.....
I'm not sure how you got that from the posts here. I don't think anyone said that. What we're discussing is the length of time with no sexual partners.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #23  December 18,2009, 3:15am
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a few years ... lost track ... but that was when I was married ... I've not allowed it to ahppen again. a few weeks is as much as I can cope with!
 
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Cathy61 is offline Cathy61 Post #24  December 18,2009, 5:23am
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I lost my husband after a long battle with cancer. Sometime in the last three years we had our last act of sexual intercourse. It just got further and further apart and finally just stopped happening. We never quit holding each other tenderly, kissing and hugging and saying "I love you". The illness and medicines just took away the physical act of intercourse.

What I learned is that sex is wonderful and something we very much want, but it is not something that we need. Love, intimacy, compassion, caring, patience, kindness are more important. The heart trumps the body any day.
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #25  December 18,2009, 9:31pm
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I am not a very sexual person, so droughts have never bothered me. It feels nice with the right person but I've never gone out of my way, driven across states or lied/cheated/etc for it.
 
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Mekel is offline Mekel Post #26  December 18,2009, 10:21pm
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27 years without sex and the only thing that keeps me marginally sane is masturbation. Personally I think the answer is unique to the individual; some people really need sex in their life to one degree or another; some people are fine without it entirely. That said, lack of it may or may not entail a degree of misery and/or rash decisions depending on the person inside your head.

Also worth noting that a stable relationship should involve partners who's need for sex is on similar levels. Extreme disparities are quite probably the cause of many failed marriages.
Last edited by Mekel; December 18,2009 at 10:24pm.
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #27  December 19,2009, 4:04pm
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Gosh, why do people make such a big deal about sex? I don't get it really? You are having it great, you aren't great as well.

I remember back in high school the summer between my sophomore and junior year there was a girl that was really into me. She would call me all the time and one time she called and asked if she could come over and spend the night. She was just so forward. I panicked and I called my best friend and mentor, God am I thankful to that guy to this day for being a big brother to me and showing me the ropes--we were both on the wrestling team and he was a year ahead of me. I called him, "Hey, so-and-so asked if she could spend the night out my house, what does that mean?" My friend said something to the extent of but censored for the audience, "Well what do you think it means a-hole, it's not a sleep over she wants to do the deed!" Me, "Dude, I've never had sex with a girl before." My friends response, freakin' brilliant, this is the point of my reply, he said the following and it will stick with me forever:

"Dude, it's just j-ing off but you're holding something bigger."

It all clicked at that point! That's all that sex was! So who cares? What's the big freakin' deal?
 
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sugartree12 is offline sugartree12 Post #28  December 21,2009, 2:26pm
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Hi
Despite what anyone thinks - celibacy is a GOOD thing. It gives you a chance to think - about a lot of things. I have been celibate since 2000. And I have no problems with that. If you just go around having sexual relations with several or too many men - you begin to lose the real meaning of intimacy.
There is no way that you can feel that "special" feeling with every man. As for us women - knowing that when you get your annual GYN physical - you won't have anything to worry about. Not everyone is as truthful as you might be. And you can't expect any man to bring his "lab slip" with him on a date.
Sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise. Don't think that you can actually be "exempt".
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #29  December 21,2009, 3:24pm
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I don't think celibacy is good or bad... sometimes, it is just necessary. If you are a person like me, and want sex to mean something, then you do not have it outside of a committed relationship. Or, if it does not mean something to you, especially being female, it's not that hard to get. I have friends who have offered!! It's more about knowing yourself, and knowing what you feel comfortable with. Don't do anything you will regret, that can feel worse than celibacy itself!
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #30  December 21,2009, 3:25pm
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sugartree12 wrote :
Hi
Despite what anyone thinks - celibacy is a GOOD thing. It gives you a chance to think - about a lot of things. I have been celibate since 2000. And I have no problems with that. If you just go around having sexual relations with several or too many men - you begin to lose the real meaning of intimacy.
There is no way that you can feel that "special" feeling with every man. As for us women - knowing that when you get your annual GYN physical - you won't have anything to worry about. Not everyone is as truthful as you might be. And you can't expect any man to bring his "lab slip" with him on a date.
Sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise. Don't think that you can actually be "exempt".

I suppose with that attitude, which strikes me as VERY negative, you will be physically fine without sex until the day you die.

But you would be intentionally passing up the chance for a lot of God given joy.
 
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