7 Signs of the Desperate Dater

7 Signs of a Desperate Dater

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7 Signs of a Desperate Dater


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View is offline View Post #1  December 9,2009, 10:40am
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This is so true!!!!!!!!! I found myself being glingy and didn't even relize it.  I asked a friend about it, because I felt different and I didn't like the way I felt.  She had cleared it up for me and so, now I corrected it before it got worse.  The point I'm trying to make is that if it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't.  So go with your gut.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  December 9,2009, 11:20am
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Yup yup. I like this one
 
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fjp5 is offline fjp5 Post #3  December 9,2009, 11:37am
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Wow, that article is so spot on it is scary. So-so true. It really breaks down how to date without having to live by the so called "Rules".

Standing Ovation to whoever wrote that!
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #4  December 9,2009, 12:03pm
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oh, yar, that's me all over. pathetic, I know. Hasn't called, what does it mean, Was too busy; I've misunderstood signs. Uncomfortable with my childen; I knew it!!! Bla bla bla! Oh, whowwe is me. I'm not good enough. It can't be that they are flakey, unsure, or just not a night person. Then again, I know that I crave affection, connection ,,, I just have to be aware that this is why I feel like I do. It is really nothing to do with anyone else.
 
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Cathy61 is offline Cathy61 Post #5  December 9,2009, 12:12pm
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When a date is unavailable, they are so much more desirable.  Everyone wants what they can't have.
 
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Stessie is offline Stessie Post #6  December 9,2009, 2:30pm
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I can say, sadly, from simple experience...if they're too available, they're desperate.  Be careful that you don't start spending time with them because you just happen to feel lonely that day (or that week).  It's too easy for the desperate dater to infer a sense of being loved or cared for by you when you were just being "social."  Yes, yes, I know...it sounds like you might be "using" someone during that first date (I thought of it as just spending "time" with them...getting to know them, etc., etc), but some desperate daters don't see it that way. I can say from my own sad experience that that first date "because you're feeling lonely and not really interested in them for some reason" can lead to some very sad endings. I will never do that again...never.
 
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classicliberty is offline classicliberty Post #7  December 9,2009, 2:59pm
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Article is right on.
 
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trackstar is offline trackstar Post #8  December 9,2009, 6:42pm
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I don't really agree with the availability thing . . .If I wanted to do something at the last minute, and asked somebody if they wanted to join me, I would not hold it against them if they said yes.  That just seems. . .weird.  I aways wonder what happens to these "busy" people (the ones that aren't really busy, but say they are) when their relationships become serious . . . how long do they perpetuate the facade?  And what do their significant others think when all of a sudden they aren't "busy" anymore.  I kind of feel like there is a pressure to be actually busy. . .but, what if that's just not who you are or want to be?
 
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fjp5 is offline fjp5 Post #9  December 9,2009, 6:51pm
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trackstar wrote :
I don't really agree with the availability thing . . .If I wanted to do something at the last minute, and asked somebody if they wanted to join me, I would not hold it against them if they said yes. That just seems. . .weird. I aways wonder what happens to these "busy" people (the ones that aren't really busy, but say they are) when their relationships become serious . . . how long do they perpetuate the facade? And what do their significant others think when all of a sudden they aren't "busy" anymore. I kind of feel like there is a pressure to be actually busy. . .but, what if that's just not who you are or want to be?
I agree but if every-time you asked someone at the last minute to do something they were available that is odd.

I don't always plan out every weekend night to go out. Often I choose to stay home and get some work done or just relax. If someone called me that i was interested in and asked me to go out I probably would.

There is always that fine-fine line between showing the person you are interested in them and not being too clingy.
 
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emmieb is offline emmieb Post #10  December 9,2009, 7:22pm
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 i have found myself accepting a date at the last minute. not ten minutes before, but the same day for sure. i did really like the guy and he DID end up being a jerk . i guess those old fashioned rules should still stand, eh?
 
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