Interesting article on sensitivity (non-sexual)


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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #1  December 8,2009, 6:55am
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I was reading an article on Good Housekeeping web site (Sensitivity - Hurt Feelings - How Not to Overreact - Goodhousekeeping.com) and see how I, believe it or not, seem to identify with it, some what.

Anyone else want to chime in (after reading the article of course)?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  December 8,2009, 7:36am
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While I think there can be strategies to try to cope with this kind of 'emotional sensitivity'....I think the real issue is an underlying type of immaturity that causes this. In the long run I think it's changing this more general factor that is best.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  December 8,2009, 7:55am
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There is an upside to being sensitive, as the article states.

I think the problem comes in when you allow it to dictate your behavior in a negative way.

There are problems with being insensitive too.
 
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peppermint21 is offline peppermint21 Post #4  December 11,2009, 6:31pm
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joeyjoe wrote :
I consider myself a sane, logical person, yet I fall into this cycle again and again. What gives? I'm happy to report that genetics may be to blame — scientists report that sensitivity runs rampant in certain family trees. And I'm not alone: 15 to 20 percent of the population is thin-skinned. The upside is that we're highly in tune with people's feelings. We're the go-to gurus when friends are wrestling with a relationship problem or a sticky situation at work.
This is going to sound pretty critical, but I have a couple of issues with this paragraph.

First, the statement that the author considers herself a "sane logical person" yet is hyper sensitive in high stress situations. I'll give her "sane", but can you claim "logical" as a general trait if you're only so in situations when it's easy?

Second, the assumption that just because something runs down family lines that it must be genetic. It could be associated with family culture and be a trait that's being passed down as "normal" through day-to-day life.

And lastly, I don't believe these people are really the go-to gurus. I'm considered relatively insensitive (yet still empathetic) and am the one everybody I know runs to when something's wrong and they need a level head and a solution...I'll admit though that I'm probably not the one they run to when they just need someone to validate their feelings (not saying that this isn't important too)


I'll admit that I'm probably biased against highly sensitive people, but I'll throw my theory out there anyway. What I've noticed is that highly sensitive people tend to be "people pleasers" and constant helpers. They frequently do things that they consider helpful that others may not notice or consider helpful themselves for which they claim they expect no reward...but...when someone is short with them, it strikes them as unwarranted and possibly as ungrateful since they've done so much to "help" that person...something the other person may not even be aware of or agree with.
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #5  December 11,2009, 9:46pm

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I find this to be a poorly written article about sensitive people. It's scattered shotgun style with no apparent direction till the end with it's zingers.

Do yourself a favor-there are many experts who write about sensitive people. Read one of their articles or books. This author does however have some helpful suggestions on zingers and surviving being a sensitive person.

As for chiming in, were you looking for anything specific? Sensitive people are misunderstood, tend to be bright and I think more of them are introverts. They are best off working as self-employed as they tend to have great difficulty with
drudgery repetitive tasks and extroverted co-workers with all the office politics involved.

See Dr. Barry Jaeger's book. One problem in this area was last time I checked there is little research available on why sensitive men (and boys) have a much harder time adjusting to life than sensitive women. And what to do about that.

Maybe because there are more highly sensitive women than men. So more female researchers than male. Imagine being a boy who is highly sensitive watching tough man cowboy movies as a youngster.

What's the message he's getting?







joeyjoe wrote :
I was reading an article on Good Housekeeping web site (Sensitivity - Hurt Feelings - How Not to Overreact - Goodhousekeeping.com) and see how I, believe it or not, seem to identify with it, some what.

Anyone else want to chime in (after reading the article of course)?
 
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peppermint21 is offline peppermint21 Post #6  December 12,2009, 10:50am
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roguewolf1 wrote :
Sensitive people are misunderstood, tend to be bright and I think more of them are introverts. They are best off working as self-employed as they tend to have great difficulty with
drudgery repetitive tasks and extroverted co-workers with all the office politics involved.

That's interesting...I never would have correlated introversion with sensitivity. I think there are a lot of shy people that are introverts, but most of the introverts I know are pretty stoic...they just get tired being around others and doing repetitive tasks. Are we saying that "shy" is the same as "sensitive"?
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #7  December 12,2009, 7:01pm

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Great question. 30% of hsps are extraverts. I didn't know it was that high. I don't think every introverted person is an hsp. Some people call them sensitives. I think the below will answer your question:

Your trait is normal. It is found in 15 to 20% of the population--too many to be a disorder, but not enough to be well understood by the majority of those around you.
It is innate. In fact, biologists have found it to be in most or all animals, from fruit flies and fish to dogs, cats, horses, and primates. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting. The brains of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) actually work a little differently than others'.
You are more aware than others of subtleties. This is mainly because your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. So even if you wear glasses, for example, you see more than others by noticing more.
You are also more easily overwhelmed. If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time.

This trait is not a new discovery, but it has been misunderstood. Because HSPs prefer to look before entering new situations, they are often called "shy." But shyness is learned, not innate. In fact, 30% of HSPs are extraverts, although the trait is often mislabeled as introversion. It has also been called inhibitedness, fearfulness, or neuroticism. Some HSPs behave in these ways, but it is not innate to do so and not the basic trait."

The Highly Sensitive Person


peppermint4209 wrote :
That's interesting...I never would have correlated introversion with sensitivity. I think there are a lot of shy people that are introverts, but most of the introverts I know are pretty stoic...they just get tired being around others and doing repetitive tasks. Are we saying that "shy" is the same as "sensitive"?

roguewolf1 wrote :
Sensitive people are misunderstood, tend to be bright and I think more of them are introverts. They are best off working as self-employed as they tend to have great difficulty with
drudgery repetitive tasks and extroverted co-workers with all the office politics involved
 
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Crabtree is offline Crabtree Post #8  December 12,2009, 8:47pm
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peppermint4209 wrote :
That's interesting...I never would have correlated introversion with sensitivity. I think there are a lot of shy people that are introverts, but most of the introverts I know are pretty stoic...they just get tired being around others and doing repetitive tasks. Are we saying that "shy" is the same as "sensitive"?
The problem with introverts is that they often don't like displaying their emotions. Showing that they are sensitive, that they are hurt, brings attention to them; something they don't want.
 
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peppermint21 is offline peppermint21 Post #9  December 16,2009, 4:22pm
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Crabtree wrote :
The problem with introverts is that they often don't like displaying their emotions. Showing that they are sensitive, that they are hurt, brings attention to them; something they don't want.
Yeah. It just hit me that most people I peg as "sensitive" are probably sensitive extros. Sensitive intros tend to be harder to pick out.
 
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