She does not want to be with me because I'm "too nice".


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nightling is offline nightling Post #61  November 22,2009, 4:07pm
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melman wrote :
Nobody had a comment about this post?

Again, there's nothing wrong with being "nice". But even if a woman really wants a "nice" guy, she needs to convince herself of that over time.
I think I have trouble with everyone's definition of "nice."

Sometimes people think they are being nice. But they haven't really listened to what the other person wants or needs, so their effort is missing the mark. They're trying to be nice, but they're not really all that nice.

If that makes sense.

So when I say I'm looking for a nice guy, what I guess I really mean is someone who takes the time to understand me and do something that really is nice, as opposed to trying to be nice.

Mysterious peeling back layers carp really does nothing for me. But that's just me.
 
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FLA123 is offline FLA123 Post #62  November 22,2009, 4:35pm
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Nice guys are what we women need. At least you are not a jerk.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #63  November 22,2009, 5:13pm
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nightling wrote :
I think I have trouble with everyone's definition of "nice."

Sometimes people think they are being nice. But they haven't really listened to what the other person wants or needs, so their effort is missing the mark.

Mysterious peeling back layers carp really does nothing for me.
Ah, but you're really agreeing with me. You need to discover for yourself whether someone meets your personal definition of "nice". It's pointless for me to tell you up front how "nice" I am through my profile or email, because I can't possibly know what that means to you. And it creates expectations that you'll always be testing.

Better just to get to know someone the old-fashioned way. Call it "peeling back layers" or simply "getting to know someone".
 
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SincerelySarcastic is offline SincerelySarcastic Post #64  November 23,2009, 5:27pm
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It's true that everyone has a different interpretation of 'nice'.......but isn't it a blessing that someone is upfront, regardless of their reason or choice of words??? I would think people would be happy and just say "thanks for letting me know you just aren't feeling it' and go on about your day.

I do get how 'wrong' it sounds tho.....too nice as opposed to what......just nice enough??? People are funny
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #65  November 23,2009, 6:44pm
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melman wrote :
Ah, but you're really agreeing with me. You need to discover for yourself whether someone meets your personal definition of "nice". It's pointless for me to tell you up front how "nice" I am through my profile or email, because I can't possibly know what that means to you. And it creates expectations that you'll always be testing.

Better just to get to know someone the old-fashioned way. Call it "peeling back layers" or simply "getting to know someone".
It doesn't bother me if they say they are nice, though. I just won't believe it until I see it for myself.
 
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jezzicaz789 is offline jezzicaz789 Post #66  November 29,2009, 9:00am
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Michael1974 wrote :
Hello all. I met a girl online and after talking for a few weeks, she asked what I want and I answered, "all I want is a single girl who's looking for a guy for a relationship" and I also said I do not want to get with a ton of women. She said that is too nice. Insane. How is that "too nice"? I'd think it is normal and practical.
Hi all, I am a new member of forum. Would a newcomer be warmly welcome here? Good day you guys!!!

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Last edited by jezzicaz789; November 29,2009 at 5:48pm.
 
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orchiles is offline orchiles Post #67  April 8,2010, 2:45pm
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nightling wrote :
It doesn't bother me if they say they are nice, though. I just won't believe it until I see it for myself.
lol me too won't believe it until i see it!
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #68  April 9,2010, 8:48am
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Just like Melman said: Women want to discover you being a "good man" (since I know women have different definitions of "nice") for themselves. You can plaster it through out your profile and that may not make a difference. Both men and women like a sense of mystery and finding out good things about their dates on their own. You can stay true to yourself as a good guy (and by reading your posts, I can tell you're a good guy) but allow the women you date to discover that on their own so to speak. And I'm echoing what was said earlier...allow them to peel back the layers.
 
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vmkh is offline vmkh Post #69  April 10,2010, 3:27am
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She thinks you are "too nice?" You are. Look for someone who thinks you are OK.
 
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Crcbonjour is offline Crcbonjour Post #70  August 15,2010, 4:02pm
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OP, someone above mentioned profile, well I was going to suggest you tweak yours to sort of to sort of amp up that good guy vibe and something to greatly deter any potential "bad girl" encounters. I get plenty of matches which are full of biker types. I have it clear in my profile that I DON'T LIKE MOTORCYCLES and so therefore, none of these people have ever contacted me!! YEAH!! It is quite possible to use your profile text to ward off folks you KNOW you won't be interested in. Just think of some creative ways to phrase it all and when you have it, insert the text and see if you aren't finding yourself engaged in different types of conversations with NICE women who appreciate the wonderful thing it is to meet a NICE man!

Profile adjustments can work wonders!! Good luck to you friend!
 
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