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PY_2 PY_2 is online now
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PY_2 facebook suggested I reconnected with.....my long lost gf....*sigh*

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Psst...Michael, I think Pbabe wants to talk to you lol.
- November 19th, 2009, 10:45 pm
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Michael1974 Michael1974 is offline
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p_babe wrote :
LOL. How do you think I feel?
If you wanted to right now, you could settle down with a beautiful woman but you know better. Moi...I'd rather hold out than settle for something less just because I feel the need. Your choice Michael.
There is no one I can settle down with right now. I don't know anyone.

I do want a quality person to spend my life with. We share that belief 100%.
- November 19th, 2009, 10:51 pm
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Michael1974 Michael1974 is offline
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PY_2 wrote :
Psst...Michael, I think Pbabe wants to talk to you lol.
??
- November 19th, 2009, 10:52 pm
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PY_2 wrote :
Psst...Michael, I think Pbabe wants to talk to you lol.
PY_2...(sighing) never mind
- November 19th, 2009, 11:01 pm
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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Michael1974 wrote :
Hello all. I met a girl online and after talking for a few weeks, she asked what I want and I answered, "all I want is a single girl who's looking for a guy for a relationship" and I also said I do not want to get with a ton of women. She said that is too nice. Insane. How is that "too nice"? I'd think it is normal and practical.
Firstly, you need to realise the world is not divided into "nice" and "players" ... It is "good" and "bad"
>>
Nice is just another term for deceitful ... That is what the woman was saying about you.>>
>>
This is as she now you/men generally better than you. When you said you were looking for "single girl who's looking for a guy for a relationship" she knew you were lying.>>
>>
Oh, it is more subtle than you think. It isn't as if most folk don't prefer monogamous life long relationships ... it is in our genes.>>
>>
But we also want a mutually supportive, confident partner who will meet our needs. Then you go and describe yourself as a servile waiting for the other to take all the initiative kinda guy. Who would want that?>>
>>
You need to present yourself as someone she'd like to get to know, who other woman seek out and that she better state her claim before too late.

So next time, try "too many woman in my life really, but I'm always open to meeting a charming intelligent woman" "I'm going to such-such next week. be great if you could join in" It'll be fun."

And skip the part about wanting a relationship ... that's a given. But nit something any one of us has much control over.
- November 19th, 2009, 11:11 pm
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ami1uwant ami1uwant is online now
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too nice..could be she bashful and flattered by your statement

or it could be very sacrastic where she thinks you are atypical and too nice= naive,.

Or it could mean that you are putting it on very thick and heavy and what you are saying is BS to her.
- November 19th, 2009, 11:18 pm
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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i read/heard somewhere one of the things a man is to provide in a relationship is a sense of adventure. the sense of it, not necessarily an actual trip to the amazon.
- November 19th, 2009, 11:19 pm
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No that is not why she does not want to be with you. Its code for I don't want to be with you and I don't want to hurt your feeling by telling you the real reason so I'll phrase it as a complimentary turndown. Other versions: you can find someone better for you, its not you its me...
- November 20th, 2009, 06:37 am
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lindseyk lindseyk is online now
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Fleuellen wrote :
Firstly, you need to realise the world is not divided into "nice" and "players" ... It is "good" and "bad"
>>
Nice is just another term for deceitful ... That is what the woman was saying about you.>>
>>
This is as she now you/men generally better than you. When you said you were looking for "single girl who's looking for a guy for a relationship" she knew you were lying.>>
>>
Oh, it is more subtle than you think. It isn't as if most folk don't prefer monogamous life long relationships ... it is in our genes.>>
>>
But we also want a mutually supportive, confident partner who will meet our needs. Then you go and describe yourself as a servile waiting for the other to take all the initiative kinda guy. Who would want that?>>
>>
You need to present yourself as someone she'd like to get to know, who other woman seek out and that she better state her claim before too late.

So next time, try "too many woman in my life really, but I'm always open to meeting a charming intelligent woman" "I'm going to such-such next week. be great if you could join in" It'll be fun."

And skip the part about wanting a relationship ... that's a given. But nit something any one of us has much control over.
If some guy told me he was constantly surrounded by women, but was open to meeting yet another one, I would be completely turned off. If he couldn't handle all those women around him already, what would he need me for? I'm not looking to be one of many. (That would be my first thought, anyway). I don't think a man who says he's looking for someone single is bad. Why lie about it? I was single and looking for a relationship once upon a time. I may not have come right out and said I was looking for a relationship, but I didn't do anything to disguise the fact either. I also didn't pretend to be overwhelmed by all the men chasing after me. Men weren't chasing after me, so that would have been a great big lie and not the best foundation for an eventual relationship, in my opinion.

To the OP, I feel your pain. I was single for a long time too and began to wonder if there would ever be anybody for me. It was really hard sometimes and I also got told that I was too nice, too sweet, too innocent . . . blah, blah, blah. I even had one guy tell me I was truly an angel and therefore he couldn't sully me by dating me. What?! lol Luckily for me, my fiance, who I met earlier this year, thinks that I am so nice, so sweet, and so innocent that he can't NOT marry me! Hooray! It was a long, difficult wait, but so worth it in the end. My fiance is everything I ever wanted and more. He's not perfect and neither am I, but what we have works for us. That perfect girl for you is out there somewhere. It may take some time to find her, but I bet when you do, she'll appreciate everything about you and will be completely honoured that you chose her.

Don't put too much stock in comments that you are deceitful, dull, or whatever. Those are hurtful words and they won't do anything to help you. I remember you from another thread and you don't come across as deceitful or anything like that. I think you are honest about what you want in life and in a relationship and there's nothing wrong with that. What I do know is that it will take a very special lady to recognize the value in you - and that's not a bad thing at all!
- November 20th, 2009, 10:20 am
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I don't think it's a question of too nice, but when a guy tells me "all I want is a single girl who's looking for a guy for a relationship" I'd be wary too. Sounds like he might settle for any woman that happens to be breathing. I'm just thinking from the female POV - not that I'm condoning a long laundry list of requirements, but we all have something that sparks us and makes us want to take things to another level. Next time maybe you could couch it differently .. e.g. I would like to find someone I'm compatible with on a number of different levels.

Or

a match that's into sports with an incredible sense of humor. Stay away from the generic responses, makes you sound like you're willing to settle for anything coming your way. Just my opinion, and based on your pic you can be selective.
- November 20th, 2009, 10:48 am
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