where men are financially now


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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #1  November 18,2009, 5:49pm
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I make a good living and it has been an issue with some men who are intimidated by it. Now I must say I am very down to earth and I do not judge someone by there belongings. Integrity, honesty, personality and I could go on are far more important but hear me out.

I have friends from all income ranges some unemployed, what I am trying to say is I am not judging of good people.
I have been fortunate to do well. Now I am not rich but I do ok.

It got me thinking about the single men at my age of 47 do not typically have any assets to speak of. Now I am refering to the men I have met through eharmony . I am not refering to those who may have recently lost there jobs because of the economy.
But I know alot of men who do not own a home, have savings, retirement, and some do not even have a car.
I have several single women friends who have a nice home, vehicle, furnishings and such. When I think about a partner, and I have been in love with some very poor men but I am now to a point at this age the other half should be bringing something to the table. Thoughts? Has any one else noticed this?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  November 18,2009, 5:56pm
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There must be something about your match settings that isn't right. Check your income level, education level, etc. A 40+-yr old man without a home or a car? I don't know anyone like that.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #3  November 18,2009, 6:03pm
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melman wrote :
There must be something about your match settings that isn't right. Check your income level, education level, etc. A 40+-yr old man without a home or a car? I don't know anyone like that.
I don't limit the income range because I would not get any matches way out here in Iowa and I do not like to judge people by there income.
I would move if not for my business. Even not on here but people out in the real world. Guys my friends date and such.
 
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vanda_leigh is offline vanda_leigh Post #4  November 18,2009, 6:12pm
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It is the same with guys their 30’s too. I have been blessed in my advancement in the work world and have served as a financial councilor as part of a college/career group ministry. I have come across a lot of guys who have maybe gone to school, but didn’t finish, or did finish and don’t know what they want yet, so they are back at the same jobs they had in college or before. A lot of them still living with parents, or roommates, not to be smart about money but because they simply have no drive to pursue anything like home ownership, or don’t have the financial education to balance a check book, let alone know how to do something as simple as contributing to a 401K. When I did change my settings on income and education I was matched with guys in the 40+ category but that seemed to be a trade for lack of social skills. I am by no means a gold digger, I would simply like to date someone who earns enough to provide for a future and I have also had the problem of guys figuring out what I earn, and not being ok if it is more than what they do.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  November 18,2009, 6:15pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I am now to a point at this age the other half should be bringing something to the table. Thoughts? Has any one else noticed this?

Funny, I am at an age where women should stop mooching off me. Oops, I was always at that age!

I so hate affirmative action; I am so angry that men's wages have fallen; I am outraged that my tax money is shovelled into endless welfare schemes and bailouts.

Sounds like you're a lot more accomodating than most women ... but, at the end of the day, supply and demand is what it is: if you want to chase the few well-off, single, emotionally-healthy men, are you one of the few attractive, single, emotionally-healthy women?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #6  November 18,2009, 6:20pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I don't limit the income range because I would not get any matches way out here in Iowa and I do not like to judge people by there income.
Well, if you don't want to screen by income, then you shouldn't be surprised to be matched with men who don't have any.

I guess now I'm not sure what your question is. You're saying eH is matching you with men who don't own a home or a car and have no savings... but can afford an eH membership?
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #7  November 18,2009, 6:59pm
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How do you know about their financial situation, or are you just assuming?

Just curious......

Lilycat
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  November 19,2009, 7:15am
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churumbeque wrote :
I don't limit the income range because I would not get any matches way out here in Iowa and I do not like to judge people by there income.
I would move if not for my business. Even not on here but people out in the real world. Guys my friends date and such.
I think you need to start adjusting your preference settings. Saying you want someone with say a minimum $60K income is not "judging" men who make less than that as being "good" or "bad" people -- it's just saying what you're saying -- you want someone who can bring something to the table.

Also try increasing distance parameters. You may find someone who's willing to move to Iowa. There are questions you can use in GC to explore this. Good luck!
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #9  November 19,2009, 10:24am
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Interesting topic. Speaking from a male perspective and being 50, in my humble opinion it sounds a little like you may be more interested in what a match has as opposed to who he is.

I am not trying to insult you or start a gender war, just putting my perception out here for you. I am not as much concerened with what a woman has, or her paycheck as in who she is as a person.
 
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ming_on_mongo is offline ming_on_mongo Post #10  November 19,2009, 11:49am
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Yup, I have to agree that it sounds like you do have some expectations, modest and reasonable ones to be sure, but they are expectations! So if it's that important to you, then it needs to be in your preferences, rather than expecting to find whatever you think is "normal".
 
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