where men are financially now


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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #21  November 20,2009, 3:26pm

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Hmmm I re-read the original post again, and I didn't get the feeling that the OP was really looking for a rich guy or anything like that.

I've also mentioned that aside from possible bad divorces, business took a dive, etc...(which I hope she takes that into consideration for somebody's misfortune)...she is doing pretty decent financially herself and just like some men don't want some women mooching off them, she's just tyring to protect herself financially.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #22  November 21,2009, 5:29am
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PY_2 wrote :
Hmmm I re-read the original post again, and I didn't get the feeling that the OP was really looking for a rich guy or anything like that.

I've also mentioned that aside from possible bad divorces, business took a dive, etc...(which I hope she takes that into consideration for somebody's misfortune)...she is doing pretty decent financially herself and just like some men don't want some women mooching off them, she's just tyring to protect herself financially.
Thank you.
I did also mention not including misfortunes just worded it differently.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #23  November 21,2009, 2:55pm
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I agree with you. If a man hasn't suffered a major misfortune with health/ job/divorce, he should have some assets by his mid 40's.

Money problems are a huge source of friction in many relationships. To preserve your sanity, it seems like a good idea to steer clear of men who don't share your dedication to paying bills on time.
 
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DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #24  November 21,2009, 4:03pm
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Some interesting points along the way.

I would agree with a lot of your point of view, churumbeque. It's not the job or the actual income that defines a person, especially during this recession. As I've said before, when I was a teacher, women would refuse to go out with me because of a teacher's pay or lack of advancement options. That was the end of the discussion, with no willingness to see who I was as a person.

Then, for 8-9 years, I was busting my tail starting a new business. For a few years, if I needed a $40 programming book, I had to, at 40 years old, ask Dad for help with it. But that was the starting phase of the business. Now I drive two Mercedes convertibles and every now and then women show interest in the antique and think it means wealth. I tell them to get lost. (Actually, I just use the word "pre-nup" to drive them off.)

I may or may not be the kind of many you're looking for, but I admit that it was frustrating being in debt to start my business and even tougher having to ask for help to buy something as low as a $40 technical book. During those times I did get judged and eliminated from dating based on my income, but, oddly enough, now some of the same women (and on Match, yes, some of the exact same women) are now willing to date me, which is why I changed the setting and hid my income.

I was and am a hard worker (or was when I still had to work). And there are many times you cannot tell what is going on with a person just by their income level. You'll find some very interesting people in jobs not known for a high income, including teachers, musicians, social workers, some dance instructors, and more. Point blank, I think selecting dates based on income level is almost as shallow as one can get. But that's my opinion.

As to the men you meet, how many are still rebuilding after divorce, or pay a lot on child support? Or are they paying for their kids in college? Is that an influence? And about the man in the apartment, yes I would wonder. Even if he just doesn't like yard work, renting is throwing money away every month when making a condo payment instead increases your equity. (Unless your loan is HUGE.) Both men AND women should, but the time they're in their 40s, have assets and a good retirement plan in the works.

I don't make a judgement on income level or job, but I admit now that those few times I get an eH match (which is rare), I'm relieved when they're a teacher or social worker, or someone else in a field that is usually "high interest" and low income, since I know they are more interested in the person than the money. That is true in other professions, but not always.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #25  November 21,2009, 4:55pm
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DreamingOfAtlantis wrote :
And about the man in the apartment, yes I would wonder. Even if he just doesn't like yard work, renting is throwing money away every month when making a condo payment instead increases your equity.

Not personal, choose this post at random to poke at:

Regarding renting, in rural areas maybe. In NY or DC, not so.

Renting means if someone calls with a better job offer a person is not limited to only opportunites with paid relocation, or having to be out-of-pocket. Research by economists has shown that owned housing equates to labor market rigidity, which means a lower labor market outcome.

Superior labor market outcome is a very good reason to rent (as is outsourcing the maintenance, which supports more work hours or more social life.)
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #26  November 21,2009, 4:55pm
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I personally do not care about income and I have seriously dated many poor men. Just thinking people should have there ducks in a row by a certain age.
I have been dumped because I am successful and they felt inferior. My girlfriends say I should lie about my job as it intimidates people.
Where are the confident men? Thats another topic.

As far as a prenup I don't think anyone should have a problem with that regardless of either parties income.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #27  November 21,2009, 5:11pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I have been dumped because I am successful and they felt inferior. My girlfriends say I should lie about my job as it intimidates people.

I do not personally believe this. I think this is something women say to excuse themselves from failure and un-attractivness ...

Though, since this issue keeps coming up I've been paying attention to consider if I need to change my assessment.

My experience is that women do not date a man of less income than she has - and this is about the strongest screen she has.
 
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DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #28  November 21,2009, 7:40pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I personally do not care about income and I have seriously dated many poor men. Just thinking people should have there ducks in a row by a certain age.
I have been dumped because I am successful and they felt inferior. My girlfriends say I should lie about my job as it intimidates people.
Where are the confident men? Thats another topic.
Lie about your job? Okay, if it intimidates a guy, then is that the guy you want to date?

As for confident men, you're looking for a rare species, one that most women ignore or skip past, and that is the guy who really is comfortable with himself, doesn't need to impress anyone, and doesn't need to have a better job than you to feel good about himself. They are rare. The other kind, the one that fakes confidence through arrogance is common and many women take that arrogance as confidence and go for the sound and fury without knowing how to look for the real thing.

churumbeque wrote :
As far as a prenup I don't think anyone should have a problem with that regardless of either parties income.
I agree. My mentioning of pre-nups is in reference to my way to get rid of a woman when it's clear she's more interested in her perception of me having money than she is in me. It's gold digger repellent.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #29  November 22,2009, 6:27am
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D_Lion wrote :
I do not personally believe this. I think this is something women say to excuse themselves from failure and un-attractivness ...

Though, since this issue keeps coming up I've been paying attention to consider if I need to change my assessment.

My experience is that women do not date a man of less income than she has - and this is about the strongest screen she has.
I am sure some find me unattractive but it doesn't keep me up at night and in my own mind I think I look like a movie star. LOL
If they found me unattractive then they shouldn't have dated me in the 1st place. In no way am I a failure. I am sure alot of women who are needing financial help do not date men of less income but when you make alot of money you may not have a choice. Now so people don't say I am a gold digger I have dated many POOR men that had nothing and a wealthy one that was more selfish than the poor ones.

Lion
I don't think you personally believe anything someone else has to say.
I have never seen you say anything positive about my posts and then I noticed how many post in a year. OMG is all you do is jab people on the internet.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #30  November 22,2009, 6:35am
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DreamingOfAtlantis wrote :
Lie about your job? Okay, if it intimidates a guy, then is that the guy you want to date?

As for confident men, you're looking for a rare species, one that most women ignore or skip past, and that is the guy who really is comfortable with himself, doesn't need to impress anyone, and doesn't need to have a better job than you to feel good about himself. They are rare. The other kind, the one that fakes confidence through arrogance is common and many women take that arrogance as confidence and go for the sound and fury without knowing how to look for the real thing.



I agree. My mentioning of pre-nups is in reference to my way to get rid of a woman when it's clear she's more interested in her perception of me having money than she is in me. It's gold digger repellent.
That is pretty much why I don't date. Seems the confident ones that approach me are too young for me. I much prefer the quiet confident men that are not the 1st to be noticed. People assume thatt since I do well that men are after my money and I laugh that it is totallly the opposite.

I was dating a man I really liked and actually met on EH. I would say he is more successful than I financially.
He used to be heavy and said he still sees himself as fat. I on the otherhand used to be a gym rat and now that I am heavier I still see my self as a hot momma. LOL Any way he said my confidence and independance intimidated him.

I had to be independant to survive, no one was there to help me. When I was married it was like I was single with no help just more work with the added person.
 
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