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churumbeque wrote :
It got me thinking about the single men at my age of 47 do not typically have any assets to speak of
Sorry if I sounded judgemental, but yeah by mid 40s assuming you've always been careful with your money (excluding unforeseen circumstances like layoffs, business collapse, bad divorces), you would've had accumulated some assets (aside from baggages lol).
- November 19th, 2009, 02:18 pm
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churumbeque wrote :
It got me thinking about the single men at my age of 47 do not typically have any assets to speak of... But I know alot of men who do not own a home, have savings, retirement, and some do not even have a car.
I use to own a home, had a nice savings account, good retirement nest egg.... all something I worked very hard for. Now I don't. That's what divorce does to ya. We divided everything right down the middle: She got the half that had all the assets, and I got the half that had all the debts. Despite all the equalities between the sexes, men still usually get the short end of the stick.
- November 19th, 2009, 02:36 pm
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Just make sure you rank income as higher in importance. That will take care of the problem.
- November 19th, 2009, 04:17 pm
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Lilycat wrote :
How do you know about their financial situation, or are you just assuming?

Just curious......

Lilycat
Well I am not just talking about people I meet.
A friend was dating a guy who happened to own a modest home but had a stack of past due bills on his table.

Another friend is dating a man who is 50ish and has been living in an apartment for years.

I was just communicationg with some one who lived in a rented room, no job and no car.

So no I haven't asked to see there tax return so I am making an assumption
- November 19th, 2009, 06:22 pm
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Laughingdaily wrote :
Interesting topic. Speaking from a male perspective and being 50, in my humble opinion it sounds a little like you may be more interested in what a match has as opposed to who he is.

I am not trying to insult you or start a gender war, just putting my perception out here for you. I am not as much concerened with what a woman has, or her paycheck as in who she is as a person.

If I were interested in what they have I would set a higher wage setting. Alot of people in the midwest do not have high income levels. Even when I was poor I had some assets. As early as 14 I worked hard and accumulated assets. I also do not set an minimum education level as I didn't graduate from high school and have done well. So I try and not judge others that way.
- November 19th, 2009, 06:29 pm
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OK, thanks. Your answer clarified something for me - I think - it is not income level or number of assets or any of that really - it is a question of his atttitudes towards financial security.

Poor/Rich is not the issue, having his financial house in order is.

Did I get that right?

Lilycat
- November 19th, 2009, 06:54 pm
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Lilycat wrote :
OK, thanks. Your answer clarified something for me - I think - it is not income level or number of assets or any of that really - it is a question of his atttitudes towards financial security.

Poor/Rich is not the issue, having his financial house in order is.

Did I get that right?

Lilycat
For the most part having a financial house in order. When I think about income level maybe it has something to do with drive and responsibilty of what you do with that money???

I am good at talking just not good at putting my thoughts down on paper.
- November 20th, 2009, 07:34 am
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Oh the horror...those men should be jailed! How dare one man have bills! And he's dating, too? The nerve. Another guy lives in an apt! That horrid S.O.B! You should kick him in the knards for that. How dare he want to date someone while
(holding my nose shut) living in an Apt.

Listen there's a new dating website:
www.datingforshallowwomenwantingtomeetmillionaires .com

This is a joke and only a joke. If this had been a real post, your Govt would have told you where to go. I've lived in an apt while selling my house.
I never knew that was a horrible thing. I think I'll have a package of my DNA ready for those women who ask.

Maybe you should dump the poor men friends if they bother you. I think you should get more aggressive and ask on the first date "so what's your IRA look like?" I'm serious. Do what other women do and hire a private detective. You never know, you just might find that millionaire around the next bend in the road.

Good luck.

"He's an invalid"
-Gattica

[quote=churumbeque;802502]

"A friend was dating a guy who happened to own a modest home but had a stack of past due bills on his table."

"Another friend is dating a man who is 50ish and has been living in an apartment for years."
- November 20th, 2009, 07:59 am
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churumbeque wrote :
For the most part having a financial house in order. When I think about income level maybe it has something to do with drive and responsibilty of what you do with that money???

I am good at talking just not good at putting my thoughts down on paper.
So it is that you care about him having his financial house in order? Which is a different thing from what his income is. Many people have high incomes but even higher debt, and others don't make much, but use what they have well. Which appeals to you more?

I had a bf when I was about 34 who was about 52. He had a good job, steady employment, medium income, but owned nothing and had no savings. Part of this was because of divorce with alimony and child support, part was because he was kind of feckless. He talked all the time about his retirement plans, which were going to cost quite a lot, and he had no retirement savings, would have nothing beyond a pension and social security ... not enough for what he planned to do.

It didn't bother me that he wasn't rich. It did bother me that he seemed unable to face financial reality, and either adjust his plans, or start aggressively saving and/or pursuing more income. We broke up for other reasons, but this would have been a big problem if this relationship had continued. And it did cross my mind that part of his interest in me might be that I could pay for his retirement. I might be willing to do that, for someone I loved, but I'd need to know they'd want me even without that.

If your concern is that he be good with money -- however much money he has -- then there's no way to set that in your preferences on eHarmony. It's something you would have to explore through GC or in person. If this is the case, you should set your income preference to be "no importance" and plan to explore it with matches. Good luck!
- November 20th, 2009, 10:04 am
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churumbeque churumbeque is offline
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[quote=roguewolf1;802923]Oh the horror...those men should be jailed! How dare one man have bills! And he's dating, too? The nerve. Another guy lives in an apt! That horrid S.O.B! You should kick him in the knards for that. How dare he want to date someone while
(holding my nose shut) living in an Apt.

Listen there's a new dating website:
www.datingforshallowwomenwantingtomeetmillionaires .com

This is a joke and only a joke. If this had been a real post, your Govt would have told you where to go. I've lived in an apt while selling my house.
I never knew that was a horrible thing. I think I'll have a package of my DNA ready for those women who ask.

Maybe you should dump the poor men friends if they bother you. I think you should get more aggressive and ask on the first date "so what's your IRA look like?" I'm serious. Do what other women do and hire a private detective. You never know, you just might find that millionaire around the next bend in the road.

Good luck.

"He's an invalid"
-Gattica

churumbeque wrote :

"A friend was dating a guy who happened to own a modest home but had a stack of past due bills on his table."

"Another friend is dating a man who is 50ish and has been living in an apartment for years."
It wasn't that he had bills, he had past due bills. There is a difference.
You would never see a past due bill at my house even when I made minumum wage.

Point being you had a house to sell. Which it doesn't make sense to live in an apt to sell a home unless you are a total slob and that is a whole different issue.
I just don't see whats wrong with successful people and wanting to better yourself.
- November 20th, 2009, 03:39 pm
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