Guys: do you need "help" with thoughtful gestures?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  November 13,2009, 9:46am
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I stumbled on this site recently:

Twelve Days of Christmas Gifts

and I wondered, what with the holidays coming up and all -- do you guys need this kind of "help" in terms of coming up with gift ideas, etc., or do you do all right on your own?

I think perhaps there's a stereotype of guys being clueless about how to do stuff like mark special occasions, etc. -- and truthfully, I've known (and dated!) quite a few for whom that's been true, but I'm curious to hear about your perspective on this issue.

Ladies, how have your past boyfriends been with this kind of thing?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  November 13,2009, 11:49am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I'm always open and interested in new ideas....regardless of whether I need 'help' or not.
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #3  November 14,2009, 12:32pm

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The longest relationship I had was with a wonderful man who was really into sending me flowers at work. Like about every few weeks. It actually started driving me crazy and I got a lot of teasing about it at work. The reception desk where the flowers got dropped off was on another floor from my office, and on the other side of the building so I ended up doing what I called my "walk of shame" to get flowers all the time. I think there is a thoughtful gesture such as giving flowers when you know she's having a rough day, or just because you thought of her and smiled that day, or any silly reason, but PLEASE don't overdo it. If I'd gotten flowers twice or three times a year at work (and not on valentine's day, how tired is THAT?), I would have been extremely happy. But every couple of weeks was WAY too much. And now that I'm alone, I don't get any flowers. I have to buy my own. :-(
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #4  November 14,2009, 12:33pm

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Emme wrote :
The longest relationship I had was with a wonderful man who was really into sending me flowers at work. Like about every few weeks. It actually started driving me crazy and I got a lot of teasing about it at work. The reception desk where the flowers got dropped off was on another floor from my office, and on the other side of the building so I ended up doing what I called my "walk of shame" to get flowers all the time. I think there is a thoughtful gesture such as giving flowers when you know she's having a rough day, or just because you thought of her and smiled that day, or any silly reason, but PLEASE don't overdo it. If I'd gotten flowers twice or three times a year at work (and not on valentine's day, how tired is THAT?), I would have been extremely happy. But every couple of weeks was WAY too much. And now that I'm alone, I don't get any flowers. I have to buy my own. :-(
Wow, is there anything I can't whine about? LOL
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  November 14,2009, 12:43pm
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
I stumbled on this site recently:

Twelve Days of Christmas Gifts

and I wondered, what with the holidays coming up and all -- do you guys need this kind of "help" in terms of coming up with gift ideas, etc., or do you do all right on your own?

I think perhaps there's a stereotype of guys being clueless about how to do stuff like mark special occasions, etc. -- and truthfully, I've known (and dated!) quite a few for whom that's been true, but I'm curious to hear about your perspective on this issue.

Ladies, how have your past boyfriends been with this kind of thing?
Tell us the truth Lori....you would like some aromatherapy oils and stuff for Christmas, right?
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #6  November 14,2009, 1:11pm
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Just been lurking for a while....... but back again lol.

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Emme wrote :
The longest relationship I had was with a wonderful man who was really into sending me flowers at work. Like about every few weeks. It actually started driving me crazy and I got a lot of teasing about it at work. The reception desk where the flowers got dropped off was on another floor from my office, and on the other side of the building so I ended up doing what I called my "walk of shame" to get flowers all the time. I think there is a thoughtful gesture such as giving flowers when you know she's having a rough day, or just because you thought of her and smiled that day, or any silly reason, but PLEASE don't overdo it. If I'd gotten flowers twice or three times a year at work (and not on valentine's day, how tired is THAT?), I would have been extremely happy. But every couple of weeks was WAY too much. And now that I'm alone, I don't get any flowers. I have to buy my own. :-(
I was involved with a guy for a couple of years who, every morning had a single red rose delivered to my desk at work. Took a lot of ribbing for it, but I loved it........ made my day every day. So over flowering me is not a problem lol. We broke up for other reasons.....

OT: Everyone needs help with "thoughtful" gestures, and gift ideas, not just the guys! It never hurts to get a reminder/ some reinforcement as to what might be appropriate in a certain situation. Things are also relative, IMHO.

Lilycat
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #7  November 14,2009, 4:46pm
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The only person who ever gave me 12 days of Christmas gifts was a former girlfriend. It was one of the most fun things I ever got. No one gift was extraordinary but was just plain fun. That was the point of it.

Now if I ever got one present from a guy for Christmas I found myself very lucky indeed, just to be remembered.
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  November 16,2009, 11:22am
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TheThinker wrote :
Tell us the truth Lori....you would like some aromatherapy oils and stuff for Christmas, right?
LOL!!!!

To funny.

Actually, because of allergies I don't have the keenest sense of smell so sadly that type of thing would be wasted on me!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  November 16,2009, 12:25pm

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The gifts worth $500??!?!!
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #10  November 16,2009, 6:14pm
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I don't need help with thoughtful gestures. What's thoughtful is subjective. Women should be happy with a gift from a man if they know it's from the heart. And like any other dating issue, don't expect a guy to be a mindreader and know what you like. Give him some subtle hints.
 
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