Cult of "The born-again Virgin" --They LIVE !!!


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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #1  November 7,2009, 8:38am
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"Will guys still date me if I say no?" "But I love sex! What about that?" "Every guy I meet turns out to be a jerk! Where have all the nice guys gone?" "But I'm in my sexual prime. I have to have it, don't I?" "What do men think when a woman refuses?" "Maybe I need some time off from dating. Will that be too weird?" "How can I make him wait until I decide if I really want to get involved?" "Isn't this an old-fashioned idea? Or some sort of religious thing?" "Do I owe it to him? Does he think I do?" "If I could just find more time in my life, I'd. . . ." "What if I'm the only woman in the world who wishes saying 'No, thanks' was easier?" And many more.Link to the full article here: http://www.enotalone.com/article/4308.html~~~~~I have just received my second of the matches in the last months from females that told me they were born again virgins.Flat out, "I am saving it for Marriage".EACH of them, over 50 years old by the way!!!~~~~My imaginary unwritten letter to them would be something like thisear BAV:You have described yourself, at 50+ years old with multiple grown children - as a "Born-again virgin"Well, BAV, I will tell you this; you are just kidding yourself, if somehow you believe that that has some "Value" to men. Virginity is ONLY one time. Once it's gone, it's gone. A wrecked or flooded Mercedes Benz can be fixed up and repaired to be like new again. But it will be branded with a "Salvage Title" when it rises resplendent, again on a dealer's lot, with pennants fluttering above. In some states, the Salvage Title can be "washed", after being sold and re-sold in sevveral states, so it's hoped nobody will discover its past history. And if you don't dig too hard, ie, Carfax or Autocheck, the seller can get away with it. I am STILL unconvinced its a virtue, especially when someone rubs YOUR face in it and touts it as some virtue, or worse, That you won't "get any" until the wedding night.Sincerely,6dle899And this from me, who by the length of time passed, could be, by some folks considered a born again virgin too, just the *male* variant. All that kind of stuff creeps me out, like religious fanaticism does. Not looking for the town floozie or something, but this to me, gets into the area of religious hysteria, or worse, blackmailing a guy to marry you to get sex. And that's: JUST NOT for me. Thoughts?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  November 7,2009, 9:00am
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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Yikes! That is one loooooong paragraph!

Why do you even care about this so much? It seems to make you really angry...

Whether they refer to themselves as "born again virgins" (and no; you can't really be a virgin again) or not, what they are doing is making it clear that they want to defer sexual intimacy until a strong and committed relationship develops. It's a valid choice for a 20-year old and it's a valid choice for a 50-year old, no matter what her (or his) previous sexual history... (The article you cited is a decade old, though--it would be interesting to see something that talks about the prevalence of this today...)

Sexual blackmail is an entirely different issue. Someone may withold sex in exchange for other goods/actions, but that's not what this issue is about--it's about developing deeper emotional relationships and about taking more control of one's own sexuality...
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  November 7,2009, 10:01am
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neardc wrote :
Yikes! That is one loooooong paragraph!

Why do you even care about this so much? It seems to make you really angry...
...
Knowing 6dle899 as I do I would suspect that it is not anger that prompts his post as is the idiocy and absurdity of someone thinking, claiming or believing that they are a "born again virgin".
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #4  November 7,2009, 10:14am

blames self-help books

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Maybe they thought this was a clever way to say they wouldn't have sex. Perhaps they are delusional. Its all good.

I think it is funny as hell personally. Is it like true religion where you can fall off the wagon, beg forgiveness and get your title back? Cause that would be kinda cool or funny or strange. Yeah I am having fun with this.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #5  November 7,2009, 10:17am
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I apologize for the LONG paragraph, I tried over and over to tweak it for many many breaks in between but the hardware or software in this program would not let me for some reason and I had to leave, too.No I am not angry really, as you suggest, but rather pretty astonished at your response, it sounds dismissive, abrupt and hyper-feminist, honestly.After the second one of these responses claiming this, I think it's worthy of comment here.I don't think the attitude is healthy or viable if one's goal is a good stable and sound emotional relationship with the opposite sex.For that reason, I opened this up for general comments
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #6  November 7,2009, 10:28am
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Well, I have to say I am with Jo on this one. Although I do understant your frustration 6dle. Myself, I am a little baffled as to why one would announce that they are a "born again virgin" to the world.... isn't that a little too personal? JMHO, although you are trying to advertise who you are in a profile isn't this something best left until the subject comes up with someone IRL?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  November 7,2009, 10:41am
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I would have thought these women don't really believe they've somehow become virginal, but that they are trying to say they don't want to have sex before marriage, in a way they consider to be cute.

However, upon googling, I find that it's a term used by fundamentalist Christians who have made an abstinence vow to God. So perhaps if you're otherwise interested in her, you could question this once you get into communication?
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #8  November 7,2009, 10:51am
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It's all about control.

They effed up the first few hundred times and now want you to bear the punishment.

I have to think they are punishing themselves because why withhold? I mean, when you're single and the well gets further away why when you find someone would you want to dry it up?

S e x is a good thing. Sheesh.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #9  November 7,2009, 10:52am
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Lilycat wrote :
...Myself, I am a little baffled as to why one would announce that they are a "born again virgin" to the world.... isn't that a little too personal? JMHO, although you are trying to advertise who you are in a profile isn't this something best left until the subject comes up with someone IRL?
I would certainly agree with that personally, but on the other hand... if that is someone's deal breaker, then it's going to help him or her screen out matches who aren't willing to abide by it, and also allows others to screen them out. Is it any different from someone who is following that path for religious reasons saying something about that in their profile? The goal is to find someone likeminded and, given that this is not exactly a typical position, perhaps it's best to just be upfront about it.

Even though others think it's a silly perspective, I can understand that someone might make this choice and why they might do so and I just put it in the "to each his/her own" category. (And I don't see what's "hyper-feminist" about that... )
Last edited by neardc; November 7,2009 at 10:56am.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #10  November 7,2009, 10:55am
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I'm curious how the children of these Born Again Virgins feel, knowing their mom is in effect discarding their creation. Not good.

Anyway, I think the whole idea is ridiculous. If you want to wait until marriage, then wait until marriage. That's your choice, but do you really need to give it a cute name and proclaim it to the world? We don't care!
 
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