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FruitaBu FruitaBu is offline
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6dle899 wrote :
Friend of mine who is female said to me: (WRT 50+ y o females that proclaim them selves to be "Born Again Virgins"

" I firmly believe these women are looking to trap men...if they were younger, they would do it with pregnancy."


~~~~~


Holy cow, that's scary

Love ya Jim, but that is just silly. Is sex REALLY that important to an older man? So important that he will be led unwillingly into a marriage? Really? I doubt it. He will just find a person who will have sex.
- November 9th, 2009, 04:50 am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
I would have thought these women don't really believe they've somehow become virginal, but that they are trying to say they don't want to have sex before marriage, in a way they consider to be cute.

However, upon googling, I find that it's a term used by fundamentalist Christians who have made an abstinence vow to God. So perhaps if you're otherwise interested in her, you could question this once you get into communication?
These women are in all likelyhood fundamentalist Christians who have recommitted to abstinence. They announce it in an effort to discourage men who won't accept this. I would not read anything further into such a statement.
- November 9th, 2009, 07:07 am
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Sassafras54 Sassafras54 is offline
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Yes, I think it's just a religious thing. If you don't want to date someone of that religion, or don't want to date someone who won't have sex unless you get married, then close and move on. What's the big deal? I see no need to trash these women. They're free to choose their religion and their sex life. In America. Supposedly.
- November 9th, 2009, 09:03 am
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FruitaBu FruitaBu is offline
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Sassafras54 wrote :
They're free to choose their religion and their sex life. In America. Supposedly.

((((Allegedly))))...
- November 9th, 2009, 10:00 am
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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6dle899:

I'm sure there are women who use sex to trap men into marriage- people do all sorts of wacky things- but the truth is that you don't really know why your matches have made this decision. there could be very valid reasons behind it, and nothing to do with religon or wanting to be married.

maybe they are tired of relationship after relationship that ends in emotional turmoil because they thought that being intimate with a man means as much to him as it did to her.

*shrug
- November 9th, 2009, 10:28 am
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6dle899 6dle899 is online now
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6dle899 If it were that easy, everyone would do it.

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Thanks to all of your for your very considered, and illuminating responses.

To them, I would like to add another one from my female friend on here, who said (slightyly edited for brevity, and the person's name redacted)
~~~~


A few people are not making, what I see, as a clear and important distinction...

there is a difference between a woman, wanting to hold off on sex, until marriage...this is a woman, who will conduct herself well...she will hold her boundaries in place, and take her time getting to know someone, take her time developing the relationship...she will not be applying pressure, becasue she wants to be very, very certain of a good union...while, not my style, I would respect her conduct

Then you have these women, who has commited to some kind of relgious movement...that are pushing their no sex stance, and throwing in an extreme amount of pressure for marriage...look at xxxxxx, she was discussing rings with you after a month...she toyed with you sexually...and this newest, she writes to you how compatible you will be...I think these women are hoping they can use the sex carrot as a way to lure a man in...xxxxxx used that with you...in fact, it seemed that was all she was interested in...

Sorry, but the latter wreaks of manipulation...they want a man to take care of them in some way...relagate them to the spare room...they are not interested in developing true intimacy...

Jim, I think its fine if you want to meet her for coffee, out of curiosity, but she is trouble and, of course, I think you know that...
- November 9th, 2009, 11:51 am
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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no offense, but i think that's stating the obvious.
- November 9th, 2009, 01:45 pm
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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i think the first part of what your friend said is true, but the second part about manipulation... not so much.

i mean, yes they are trying to manipulate, but not in the sense of using a man. i think they're just trying to get out there as opposed to letting life pass them by. i think these ladies want true intimacy; it's just that it's not so easy to go about actually developing it.

i heard this catholic lady talk once about chastity. she talked about physical intimacy being intrinsic in relationships, in growing them. that's very interesting, if you ask me. it acknowledged you don't have one and aren't creating one if you just quash it at every turn. and yet, if you are down with chastity, you have to save sex until you've staged the wedding. so, you can't get intimate until you've settled the relationship, and you can't settle the relationship until you get intimate. that's an ostensible conundrum.

i thought her answers to the conundrum were very interesting too, but that's another topic.
- November 10th, 2009, 12:02 am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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Personally, I think "born again virgin" is just a line women use to ward off a guy they don't like.
- November 12th, 2009, 06:07 pm
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Personally, I have said that I was a virgin before but to get a laugh out of people.
Now if someone is actually believing they are virgins,, they have issues.
I do know it can be sewn back and you can be a technical virgin again,, although why anyone would want that pain again is beyond me.
- November 12th, 2009, 09:02 pm
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