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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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Have some interests? Look, if you don't have things that you're passionate about, that excite you, you want to then taking a class, volunteering, etc, will just be drag on you. If you are unmotivated, dull, prosaic; then that's how you are. You also should not bother with any form of relationship, as youd only ruien it. You'd be as uncommited to that as you are to anything else. I always think it is silly to suggest folk do "things" in order to met "somebody." No, you should do things because you like to, they are important to you. Turning up at a class, conservation group, church to 'check out the talent" is just creepy. No one is going to engage with you. No, if you have no interests, what you need is therapy to find out why you are so, then maybe you'll be able to change. And dating should be off the agenda; no one worthwhile will want to be with you.

- November 5th, 2009, 05:09 am
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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I agree that trying to be interesting by getting interests is backasward. The idea is that you're truly interested and passionate about something....so if you're only involved in something to appear or be interesting then this passion won't be there. At best you'll be faking interest and passion.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:26 am
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MicMan MicMan is offline
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I've met people that are very passionate about video games, TV shows and movies and that certainly isn't for everyone, but photography, volunteerism and sandlot baseball isn't for everyone either.

I know for sure that I wouldn't want to be involved in someone that just exists and has no interests, but who am I to judge what is a worthy or unworthy interest?
- November 5th, 2009, 06:05 am
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Monica1 Monica1 is offline
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I, for one, do have interests, but don't have the time right now to engage in them. I like to paint, dance, take classes, but I'm very busy with my career. I don't like to just talk about work, but the person I'm dating shares so much of his life with me and likes the way I care and listen. That's enough for now. And, I agree it doesn't make sense to just look for a hobbie in order to look interesting. Start with doing something for yourself to enrich your own life. We were just discussing how it can be trouble when your realationship is the only thing that makes you tick. It's too easy to neglect the rest of your life. Then, if the relationsip doesn't work out, what have you got? Certainly not motivation to paint a Picasso or go for your PhD! Having interests outside a relationship is important for the relationship itself. And, if life allows, certainly explore those things!
- November 5th, 2009, 06:27 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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Oh
- November 5th, 2009, 06:49 am
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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Monica1 wrote :
Then, if the relationsip doesn't work out, what have you got?
Another relationship?
- November 5th, 2009, 08:11 am
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Hew Hew is offline
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I have a few focused interests that I occupy free time with. I would rather have a small handful of things I am truly engaged in, than to have a list of cool things to put on a dating profile that I only do occasionally.

I don't necessarily think that a busy person is more interesting. I think a person who is invested in their current activities and their immediate relationships will signal a person who is actively engaged and not passively detached from life.
- November 5th, 2009, 09:06 am
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cardguy cardguy is offline
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I don't see what's wrong with trying something new. Sure, if you're completely uninterested in something you're unlikely to stick with it, but it doesn't make sense that you'd have to be really passionate about something before even starting to get involved with it.
- November 5th, 2009, 09:15 am
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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The counter side to this is....I find it a turnoff when someone is very narrowly focused on one thing in their life. This might commonly be work for workaholics....but for some people it could be another interest(s) other than work.
- November 5th, 2009, 09:33 am
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nightling nightling is offline
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cardguy wrote :
I don't see what's wrong with trying something new. Sure, if you're completely uninterested in something you're unlikely to stick with it, but it doesn't make sense that you'd have to be really passionate about something before even starting to get involved with it.
Seconded.
- November 5th, 2009, 10:24 am
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