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HappyandLight HappyandLight is offline
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I am very glad I am a woman with her own interests/passions. I know how to keep myself occupied and happy and my interests truly bring me *joy* and *pleasure* outside the relationship.

And it *adds* to my relationship in the sense that I can share what I am learning/doing or maybe we can do together. And I am far from needy because I get so much of joy out of what I do.

How nice it is when a man has passion...so, so sexy!!!

Having said this, I am sure there are lots of less than passionate people in relationships who are pretty happy. Maybe not the most interesting of relationships but probably happy enough.
- November 5th, 2009, 07:14 pm
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AntMan1007 AntMan1007 is offline
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I'd just like to share my experiences with anyone who reads this and would happily welcome any reply.


I'm a 27 year old male from Australia. I believe that it is important to have interests in life other than your career. As for my interests, I play the Oboe in various orchestras, the pipe organ at church every Sunday (where I run a choir), I enjoy gardening every now and then and I'm also a Secretary for a religious committee that comes together once a month to plan fundraising activities for a large feast we organise every year. I also enjoy going to the mall every now and then. I'm passionate about all of these things and am so glad that I've involved myself when I consider that I don't have many friends outside of work so I don't get very much social interaction. I certainly don't believe that one should involve themselves in activities like these just to meet someone, however, even if I wanted to, most of my extra curricular activities involve being around people a lot older than myself so I am rarely presented with an opportunity to socialise with people my age, and quite frankly, this worries me a lot.


When I consider my history of social interaction since primary (elemantary) school, my best friends were there, and when I started high school, none of my friends had gone to the same high school so I was forced to make new ones. The friendship quality in high school wasn't quite the same as primary school but i kept the same friends throughout my high school years (despite the fact that we never did anything together outside of school). After high school, my friends and I went our separate ways. University was a different story - I don't think I made many close friends at all and always ended up sitting next to people at least 10 years older than me - they were smart, well behaved and I looked up to them.


I don't know much about dating as I have never dated anyone in my life, but I was brought up with enough honesty and respect to understand what it means to be kind to others, to listen to them and treat them with a deep and profound respect. I just wish more people my age could see this more. I often feel that they don't know the real me.


 

- November 6th, 2009, 09:41 pm
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lookinforclues lookinforclues is offline
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Personally, I find it extremely important, if not vital, to have interests and/or passion. I think it's the only way one would build character and a personality. As well, it demonstrates that one is driven by things outside their work; you inevitably become a more intriguing individual.

Just recently, I went out with a guy and I ask him if there's anything he's passionate about. He answered no and stared into space and asked, "I don't know if that's a bad thing...?"

Needless to say, that was the first AND last time we went out!
- November 7th, 2009, 05:04 pm
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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AntMan1007 wrote :
I'd just like to share my experiences with anyone who reads this and would happily welcome any reply.


I'm a 27 year old male from Australia. I believe that it is important to have interests in life other than your career. As for my interests, I play the Oboe in various orchestras, the pipe organ at church every Sunday (where I run a choir), I enjoy gardening every now and then and I'm also a Secretary for a religious committee that comes together once a month to plan fundraising activities for a large feast we organise every year. I also enjoy going to the mall every now and then. I'm passionate about all of these things and am so glad that I've involved myself when I consider that I don't have many friends outside of work so I don't get very much social interaction. I certainly don't believe that one should involve themselves in activities like these just to meet someone, however, even if I wanted to, most of my extra curricular activities involve being around people a lot older than myself so I am rarely presented with an opportunity to socialise with people my age, and quite frankly, this worries me a lot.


When I consider my history of social interaction since primary (elemantary) school, my best friends were there, and when I started high school, none of my friends had gone to the same high school so I was forced to make new ones. The friendship quality in high school wasn't quite the same as primary school but i kept the same friends throughout my high school years (despite the fact that we never did anything together outside of school). After high school, my friends and I went our separate ways. University was a different story - I don't think I made many close friends at all and always ended up sitting next to people at least 10 years older than me - they were smart, well behaved and I looked up to them.


I don't know much about dating as I have never dated anyone in my life, but I was brought up with enough honesty and respect to understand what it means to be kind to others, to listen to them and treat them with a deep and profound respect. I just wish more people my age could see this more. I often feel that they don't know the real me.


Oh, AntMan, you sound'd like you'd be a good catch ...I also imagine EH would be ideal for you ... myabe loose up on gardning and try a sport (cycling the crazz) ...
- November 7th, 2009, 08:15 pm
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AubreyBo AubreyBo is offline
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Well, personally I really agreed with the comment. Turn off your TV / computer before have a date. TV / computer would not / should not able to replace your social life!

- November 8th, 2009, 12:07 pm
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thefastcat thefastcat is offline
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Personally (and unlike collegiate applications) I don't prefer when a person defines them self by one particular passion or talent. Perhaps because of my own personality that becomes interested (and then sometimes disinterested) in many different things the idea of any one of them defining me is a little unwanted.

I remember reading an article in highschool that emphasized how 'increasingly' selective colleges preferred specialists who's lives were centered around a singular passions (ie gymnastics) as opposed to the proverbial renaissance man (football and basketball, honor roll, student council).

What do others think? Would you prefer someone who is narrowly focused on a single passion (ugh I dislike this word) and very into it or more diverse in their interests? I am matched with a female competitive fitness model right now. I just sent my second set of questions and am trying to see if her life is defined by it (she calls it a hobby).

This is very good topic and has helped me realize that I prefer someone with a very diverse set of interests as opposed to fewer more intense ones. Or maybe I just need to get out of my comfort zone.
- November 12th, 2009, 03:11 pm
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cp30 cp30 is offline
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I agree with you fastcat.

It may be part of growing up a bit, maybe it's a disillusionment, maybe it's having read too many dating profiles and maybe it's an effect of post-college hanging out with too many 'artists' who wouldn't get a real job.

I have interests but they don't involve me as much as they did in high school. I am passionate about reading and learning and relationships and I love the outdoors and travelling and keeping up with current events.

But, I don't belong to any clubs...I work a lot....and I can talk about many subjects and things I've learned over the years (and I do have a few dorky interests that I like to learn about when I have time)

I just..don't define myself by these things. For instance, I like music. But, I don't religiously follow any bands. I like concerts but its rare I purposely seek out new bands anymore, I wait more for them to find me either by chance, on radio or through a friend. I like the little suprises in life and don't feel like I have to follow passions and interest like it's 'homework' um, cause that is not fun.

I like that I have time in my life for important things and for learning new things about the people in my life. I define myself more by my values and personality than by my interests. And I think I judge others in the same way.

I admit, when someone is overly concerned with hobbies and 'passions' they can strike me as a bit immature. Especially, I guess if they are overly concerned about what kind of music I like, what kind of movies etc...those things are not of great importance to me. I like them, but I don't really care if we like the same books and music. It's just not a big deal...

And a lot of the things I like...I just don't like them enough sometimes, I'd frankly rather relax after work and talk to friends, read the news or watch tv then pick up an instrument or join a club or whtaever other obscure thing I could be doing that would make me more interesting.
- November 12th, 2009, 04:30 pm
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thefastcat thefastcat is offline
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cp30 wrote :
I define myself more by my values and personality than by my interests. And I think I judge others in the same way.

I admit, when someone is overly concerned with hobbies and 'passions' they can strike me as a bit immature. Especially, I guess if they are overly concerned about what kind of music I like, what kind of movies etc...those things are not of great importance to me. I like them, but I don't really care if we like the same books and music. It's just not a big deal...

And a lot of the things I like...I just don't like them enough sometimes, I'd frankly rather relax after work and talk to friends, read the news or watch tv then pick up an instrument or join a club or whtaever other obscure thing I could be doing that would make me more interesting.
I added the bolded to my profile quotes. You articulated everything I believe. Thanks for that.
- November 12th, 2009, 06:39 pm
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empress_c empress_c is offline
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Everyone can keep finding new things to learn, do, visit. It does help that I am an extrovert, but even quiet people can go out and do something twice a week! It is important to at least try something with an open mind.

I volunteer: my church, a cultural organization, a social service, and some other organizations. Some are very occasional, only a few times a year. None of these volunteer activities cost me anything.

I am amazed how many people never go anywhere or do anything. (TV and/or hours at a computer screen don't count!) There are activities out there which are free, or any donation at all (even $1 is appreciated), or low cost ($5 to $10), so if you are very low income, you still can find interesting things to learn, visit, do.

There is a world to explore, and it's fun, at least for me!
- November 12th, 2009, 07:37 pm
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2perfection 2perfection is offline
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I was asked this same question once by someone i was really into. Unfortunately she wasnt in to me as much, and i think she was looking for other things in me that she could find attractive. When someone is about to really get turned off by you, they will do it no matter what you say, when someone likes you, they wont mind whatever you say, So this whole thing of find old habits, become someone else seems fake. Why be someone else so that this stranger has to like you, if they dont like you just say - peace out, cut your losses and move on!  Its usually a waste of time trying to impress the uninterested.

- November 14th, 2009, 09:38 am
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