Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

About You Your healthy mind, body, and spirit play a vital role in all the important relationships of your life. Share your advice and insights here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
nancymargritangelita's Avatar

nancymargritangelita wish spring would hurry up and get here

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 253

See profile

hazmat wrote :
Yep...yep...yep...Women over think things all the time. It doesn't matter if it's a romantic relationship or a friendship type relationship. And it almost always (at least in my experience) leads them to lean towards the utter disaster scenario.

If something is unclear, a direct question works best for me. Relationships are about communication...right ? If my friend or SO couldn't comfortably come to me with a question about...whatever...it wouldn't be much of a relationship.
This is true. Sometimes my father will answer my mother with a nod or a blank stare or a "uh huh" and she'll tell him "sorry dear I don't know what that means; you'll have to explain it."

I have more of a problem with this depending on what kind of relationship it is - store clerks or general acquaintances get the direct approach; anyone more intimate intimidates me more for some reason and I have a difficult time being direct - not a good thing to be in an intimate relationship (intimidated I mean).
- November 5th, 2009, 04:20 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
scarlet13's Avatar

scarlet13 and i found out where my edge is and it bleeds into where you resist

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 3,878

See profile

I think some people in general overthink things- not just women.

I do, but not because I'm a woman. I'm just like that.

maybe women seem to do it more than men because it's an ingrained safety trait, and they are more social than men.
- November 5th, 2009, 04:41 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
init4more's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
I think some people in general overthink things- not just women.

I do, but not because I'm a woman. I'm just like that.

maybe women seem to do it more than men because it's an ingrained safety trait, and they are more social than men.
Ummm, I guess we can look at it that way Scarlet, but I believe the ladies are more so the ones that do the overthinking mre so than men. I can honestly say, every woman that has been in my life has done this. I can say I have been guilty of overthinking things myself, not to often though because I am a communicator, but I do agree it is mostly mis-communication. We can't go around filling in the blanks with something made up in our heads, to fill in what we didn't get out of it. If we think we didn't hear it right the first time, then just simply ask to hear it again. Weather we're a man or woman, it shouldn't be hard to ask the one we're with to explain if one is not sure. It really is all about communication. Without that, what do we really have.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:12 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
scarlet13's Avatar

scarlet13 and i found out where my edge is and it bleeds into where you resist

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 3,878

See profile

init4more wrote :
Ummm, I guess we can look at it that way Scarlet, but I believe the ladies are more so the ones that do the overthinking mre so than men. I can honestly say, every woman that has been in my life has done this. I can say I have been guilty of overthinking things myself, not to often though because I am a communicator, but I do agree it is mostly mis-communication. We can't go around filling in the blanks with something made up in our heads, to fill in what we didn't get out of it. If we think we didn't hear it right the first time, then just simply ask to hear it again. Weather we're a man or woman, it shouldn't be hard to ask the one we're with to explain if one is not sure. It really is all about communication. Without that, what do we really have.
i tend to think women don't over think as much as you think they do. I think they analyze things because it's nature for us to do so- and that's not irrational or making things up.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
nightling's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 2,448

See profile

At one time, back when women weren't allowed to own property and could be beaten to death, being hyper-tuned to what the guy said and did and what it might mean may have served a survival purpose.

Read some science article or other to that effect once upon a time ...
- November 5th, 2009, 08:56 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

6dle899's Avatar

6dle899 If it were that easy, everyone would do it.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 4,380

See profile

Depends on *WHAT* is overthought, I feel.

For example, I would over think something like "Can this Mercedes Benz transmission be repaired, or must it be replaced?", or "Do vacuum modulators really HOLD vacuum?"


But "relationships" I don't overthink them.

At ALL.


(I am a guy, you know...)
- November 5th, 2009, 11:07 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
Johnnyguitarman's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 84

See profile

nightling wrote :
At one time, back when women weren't allowed to own property and could be beaten to death, being hyper-tuned to what the guy said and did and what it might mean may have served a survival purpose.

Read some science article or other to that effect once upon a time ...
Yes, a ""science"" article written by a man-hating feminist. It's worth remembering that until VERY recent history the man is the relationship also owned no property and could also be legally beated to death at any time by the ruling class.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:40 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#27   Reply With Quote
scarlet13's Avatar

scarlet13 and i found out where my edge is and it bleeds into where you resist

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 3,878

See profile

Yes, a ""science"" article written by a man-hating feminist. It's worth remembering that until VERY recent history the man is the relationship also owned no property and could also be legally beated to death at any time by the ruling class.
no, it's the truth- even in america, land of the free, women could not own property, vote, or be sexually assaulted by their husbands. THAT is recent history. white men were ALWAYS able to own property.

man hating has nothing to do with it.
- November 6th, 2009, 06:48 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#28   Reply With Quote
bekka74's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 34

See profile

I know I over analise things. With my ex its what led me to know he was cheating. On the other hand with my friendships its like the others have said, I figure the best and worst case ideas and then when im worked up, I ask for clarification and they always lean towards the best case. Then tell me I was crazy for even worring....my friends keep me grounded and im learning to not over think!
- November 6th, 2009, 06:54 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#29   Reply With Quote
nightling's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 2,448

See profile

Yes, a ""science"" article written by a man-hating feminist. It's worth remembering that until VERY recent history the man is the relationship also owned no property and could also be legally beated to death at any time by the ruling class.
Funny. The researcher was male.

I don't know of any time in recent history where men couldn't own property and could be beaten to death by their women.
- November 6th, 2009, 07:55 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#30   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question for guys 20-35ish Red28 About You 46 January 15th, 2010 04:03 am
Ladies -- will you date younger guys? stevex Dating 132 October 28th, 2009 09:12 pm
Ladies: Show me your bod saulgoode Using eHarmony 54 September 13th, 2009 12:36 pm
Ladies, are you encountering guys looking for you to be their savior? flowerchild66 Dating 63 June 27th, 2009 10:40 pm
? to the guys: about closing, and communication style....is it just me? SMRTRTHNU Using eHarmony 16 May 29th, 2009 09:14 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Don't over analyze it man...she gave you a call after a week...and told you that she heard that you left the group, either somebody told her or she asked what's going on. Really man, who cares ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Met this girl at an activity group and confused once again.” discussion

“ EH reps say: after a week give a nudge, then close in another week if no reply. That's not what it says on the site, which is that people have varying schedules and you should be patient.” – mrflyer

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion

“..and this is only one reason of many why I love this site. The classic dating problem of competition is deliciously turned on its head. I have no problems getting contacts that communicate, even ... ” – Rustman

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion

“MicMan, I think MrFlyer is missing the point altogether that what was done to you was needlessly cruel and thoughtless, not to mention crass, classless, tactless and trashy. No, you are missing the ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “Stay Classy Matches” discussion

“ So you don't care at all what your dates look like? I would believe you, but only if you were blind.” – mrflyer

Join the “New pics and not attracted” discussion

“ Your racial concerns are your issues. They have nothing to do with her or her past. Our histories and our cultural indoctrination are difficult things to overcome, but the only solution is to either ... ” – OldManNoah

Join the “Getting Over My Girlfriend's Past Lovers?” discussion

“ It means that the strip club is the wrong place to take her for your first date. I would interpret it as "no sex before marriage" (or perhaps being engaged).” – mrflyer

Join the “"I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in their sexual needs."” discussion

“Moral of this sad tale: When it comes to FB and the person you're dating, neither a friender nor friendee be! I just made the idiotic mistake of accepting a friend request from a woman I've just ... ” – rocchio

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:27 am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0