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6dle899 6dle899 is offline
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6dle899 Losing faith in humanity. One person at a time.

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SactoDoug wrote :
All stereotypes have a grain of truth in them. Ex-wives have a bad reputation because the system is rigged to bleed men dry.

To be honest, your post is not going to sway me much. I have plenty of divorced friends that were sent through the ringer by their ex-wives. I will always assume that divorced women got every penny they could, deserved or not, out of their ex's.

That may not be true *ALL* the time, but it is true ENOUGH that the burden of truth lies on YOU (the OP) to prove it is not true.


I know it is after the fact, but (speaking to the OP here).... your breezy response to what you did.... (when your date asked you) "marathon shopping" would be so jaw dropping, to men, that they would AUTOMATICALLY assume - if you were divorced - that you bled some ex totally dry to be able to say something like that.

They would be aghast - to hear that - and rightfully so. Don't say that again to a date.


And yes, the system is utterly and totally "RIGGED" in their favor, no matter what you hear. Females are treated like Princesses in divorce court in the United States.

Don't ask me how I know that.
Last edited by 6dle899; November 4th, 2009 at 06:52 am.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:23 am
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6dle899 6dle899 is offline
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6dle899 Losing faith in humanity. One person at a time.

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mari3434 wrote :
As a matrimonial lawyer, it is interesting and surprising to view people's opinions on child support. I am amazed that many people have confused the issue of child support with spousal support payments - completely different legal issues. Seeking child support has nothing to do with being a "gold digger" or lazy! Simply put, the Court certainly would not view child support in this way.

You must be practicing divorce law on Jupiter.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:28 am
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

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please. plenty of women stay home with the kids for years-what kind of job do you think they are going to get after a divorce? certainly not enough to cover the costs of raising children or daycare.

this is the chance you take when you get married and have kids, people.
- November 4th, 2009, 07:06 am
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SactoDoug SactoDoug is offline
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SactoDoug is wondering why he can't get no satisfaction.

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With regards to child support, yes, men want to support our children. The problem is that the courts are rigged against men. By default the courts will award custody to the woman. A man has to fight tooth and nail to get custody and often the best that can be done is joint 50-50. Since the parent with the majority of custody gets the child support it turns into a double whammy for men. They get their time with their children severely restricted and end up footing most of the bill.

With regards of how the money is spend, no woman is going to be able to convince any man that knows anything about divorce that every penny of child support is used to support the children. People roll their eyes when corporate execs have company cars, and live extravagant lives on company money. Divorced women do the same thing with child support. There is no accountability with child support so women get to spend it any way they feel fit to spend it. The corporate exes actually have more accountability for how they spend the company money than women do with child support.

Don't tell me that they never spend any of it on themselves. We are all adults here and we know BS when we see it.
- November 4th, 2009, 07:30 am
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SactoDoug SactoDoug is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
please. plenty of women stay home with the kids for years-what kind of job do you think they are going to get after a divorce? certainly not enough to cover the costs of raising children or daycare.

this is the chance you take when you get married and have kids, people.

Which is why more and more men expect their wives to work. Stay at home moms are the exception today.

Unfortunately most of the courts have not caught up to that fact and still rule the same old ways as if women were helpless and can't find a job.

All of this may become moot in another decade or two. Women earning degrees out number men 2 to 1. In the near future women will out earn men. It will cause some social upheaval because no matter how much money a woman makes, they still look for a man that makes more than them. At that point, the courts will be forced to rule in favor of the next generation of slacker men.

The shoe will be on the other foot. I don't think women even realize what is coming for them.
- November 4th, 2009, 07:37 am
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I earn't (still do earn) over double what my ex-husband earn't, tbh our split has been a nightmare for me.

He worked 2 jobs paid all the bills while i went to university and supported me and our children for the best part of 8 years.

Walking out of university i walked into a job earning more than he did and several years later spliting up (my decision) was gut wrenching for me because although i wasn't happy i KNEW he would end up worst out of the relationship.

I still have overwhelming sence of guilt, because he worked his ass off to provide US with a better future by letting me go to university and when the relationship ended, im now the only one who benifit's from it.

I've been told by serveral soliciter's that i should demand child support but i don't take a penny, i was told i was entitled to the entire house yet i INSISTED on buying out his half. I refuse to take money for the kids but i allow him to put money into a savings account for them and i occassionally "suggest" things they need so he can feel like he contributes.. mostly though the only thing i demand from him is his time as a father and that he gives more than willingly.

I know he think's i took him for a ride but i really don't know what else i can do i certainly didn't intend to get qualified and leave him but i wasn't happy so i couldn't stay indefinatly to ease my guilt?
- November 4th, 2009, 08:12 am
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timeless2 timeless2 is offline
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This has been an interesting read. It just reminds me that I am responsible for my own happiness. If I say that my relationship will not work cause married women sap all the money and married men sleep with anything that wears a skirt, then my relationship will not work.
- November 4th, 2009, 08:16 am
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sabete2002 sabete2002 is offline
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The decision to get married is not unilateral. The decision to have children or on how they are raised is rarely unilateral. Those who think full time parenting is not a full time job, try it. You might just change your mind.

Yes, there is unfairness in the system but it is not always the case. There's good and bad on both sides of the equation.

And if there are changes about to happen that benefit all of us, particularly our children, bring it on. There are many of us who will embrace it.
- November 4th, 2009, 08:17 am
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

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SactoDoug wrote :
Which is why more and more men expect their wives to work. Stay at home moms are the exception today.

Unfortunately most of the courts have not caught up to that fact and still rule the same old ways as if women were helpless and can't find a job.

All of this may become moot in another decade or two. Women earning degrees out number men 2 to 1. In the near future women will out earn men. It will cause some social upheaval because no matter how much money a woman makes, they still look for a man that makes more than them. At that point, the courts will be forced to rule in favor of the next generation of slacker men.

The shoe will be on the other foot. I don't think women even realize what is coming for them.


Ha! i bet a cookie that every woman on this board has dated a slacker at one time or another. i think we are fully aware that chances are, if we get divorced, we are going to get shafted. this is nothing new.

every single divorced mom i know isn't spending her child support on spa days and Gucci bags. in fact, most are getting close to nothing if that at all.

i know men who also proudly exclaim how they successfully hid money from their ex's lawyer. it's sick.
- November 4th, 2009, 08:29 am
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Can_I_just_be_Jo Can_I_just_be_Jo is online now
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Can_I_just_be_Jo Blissfully happy!

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6dle899 wrote :
That may not be true *ALL* the time, but it is true ENOUGH that the burden of truth lies on YOU (the OP) to prove it is not true.


I know it is after the fact, but (speaking to the OP here).... your breezy response to what you did.... (when your date asked you) "marathon shopping" would be so jaw dropping, to men, that they would AUTOMATICALLY assume - if you were divorced - that you bled some ex totally dry to be able to say something like that.

They would be aghast - to hear that - and rightfully so. Don't say that again to a date.


And yes, the system is utterly and totally "RIGGED" in their favor, no matter what you hear. Females are treated like Princesses in divorce court in the United States.

Don't ask me how I know that.
I have never said that to a date, it was the first thing that came to mind where a lot of money changes hands for something that is not necessary. I needed an example.
- November 4th, 2009, 08:46 am
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