Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #51  November 3,2009, 8:32pm

blames self-help books

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alissag wrote :
I have plenty of guy friends who have horror stories. So, I have come to accept the fact that I am, we are, the exception, not the rule.

The fact that my lawyer (had to get one to deal with the division of the company we started) said to me "I wish all my clients were as level headed as you!" Spoke volumes... I based my decisions on facts, not emotions. Chicks, in general, are emotional and vindictive. Generally, not very nice, hence, I don't have many as friends. They can really be terrible!

I treat others the way I expect to be treated, nothing more, nothing less!
My attorney thought it was funny when he would come to me with well he wants this. How many hours to fight? If the cost to fight was less than what he wanted we fought, otherwise no. After a few times he said should I just use my hourly to determine your answer and just have you sign off? I think he was joking....
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #52  November 3,2009, 8:40pm

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. I sometimes wonder if these women that have these amazing settlements aren't urban legends.
How about a settlement like this..

STUNNING Stephanie Seymour will have to get by on just $270,000 a month -- at least until her nasty divorce from polo-playing pony breeder Peter Brant is finalized. A Connecticut judge ordered Brant to start coughing up the dough last week. his continued fury over his wife's thorough bred spending habits. Brant, who nets an estimated $1.55 million a month,
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; November 3,2009 at 9:08pm.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #53  November 3,2009, 8:54pm
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CaptCrunch23 wrote :
How about a settlement like this..

STUNNING Stephanie Seymour will have to get by on just $270,000 a month -- at least until her nasty divorce from polo-playing pony breeder Peter Brant is finalized. A Connecticut judge ordered Brant to start coughing up the dough last week. his continued fury over his wife's thorough bred spending habits. Brant, who nets an estimated $1.55 million a month,
It depends....whose thorough breeding is she spending the money on?
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #54  November 3,2009, 8:56pm
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This is really disturbing.

First, there is a vast moral difference between expecting alimony and expecting child support. If you're a grownup, you should be able to take care of yourself. But BOTH people who created these children should be helping to supply their needs. It really isn't fair to say "You chose to keep them in your home, so YOU fork out all of the money for their food, clothing, school supplies, medicine and outright cash, as well as the added expenses of more bedrooms and larger utility bills."

I have 2 ex-husbands and never asked for one single dime in alimony from either of them. I did ask for (and received) child support from my childrens' father, my first husband. The amount requested was less than half what the state guidelines suggested, despite the fact that his income was literally quadruple mine. The amount he contributed didn't even come close to half what our children cost to raise. In addition, part of the reason he was able to make that much money was due to the fact that I put aside my work life to take care of him and our children, and to allow him to establish his own business.

On the other hand, I know his brother divorced and was paying more than $4,000 to his ex every month for 10 years, all alimony since they had no kids. She used it to sit around and watch soaps. Pampered her whole life and completely incapable of holding a real job.

So you can see why a lot of women get upset when the subject of money-stealing ex-wives come up. They're angry about the minority of selfish women that give us all a bad reputation, and the men who assume we're all the same.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #55  November 3,2009, 8:57pm
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CaptCrunch23 wrote :
How about a settlement like this..

STUNNING Stephanie Seymour will have to get by on just $270,000 a month -- at least until her nasty divorce from polo-playing pony breeder Peter Brant is finalized. A Connecticut judge ordered Brant to start coughing up the dough last week. his continued fury over his wife's thorough bred spending habits. Brant, who nets an estimated $1.55 million a month,
I don't know anything about these two... never heard of them until now. However, these are people in the top 0.5% of the income distribution, hardly representative of what's going on in millions of divorces of regular folk.

And strictly by the numbers... not knowing anything at all about those two... that payment is 17% of his income, hardly close to the 50%+ that some are claiming here.

If I were making $1.55 million / month, I think I could adjust my spending so I could get by on "just" $1.28 million / month.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #56  November 3,2009, 9:04pm

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I don't know anything about these two... never heard of them until now. However, these are people in the top 0.5% of the income distribution, hardly representative of what's going on in millions of divorces of regular folk.

And strictly by the numbers... not knowing anything at all about those two... that payment is 17% of his income, hardly close to the 50%+ that some are claiming here.

If I were making $1.55 million / month, I think I could adjust my spending so I could get by on "just" $1.28 million / month.
Just silly is what that is!! (not your post) those numbers I mean.. She is a famous model with millions of her own money

my post wasn't meant to be comparison people here..
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; November 3,2009 at 9:07pm.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #57  November 3,2009, 9:15pm
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chawks64 wrote :
This is really disturbing.

First, there is a vast moral difference between expecting alimony and expecting child support. If you're a grownup, you should be able to take care of yourself. But BOTH people who created these children should be helping to supply their needs. It really isn't fair to say "You chose to keep them in your home, so YOU fork out all of the money for their food, clothing, school supplies, medicine and outright cash, as well as the added expenses of more bedrooms and larger utility bills."

I have 2 ex-husbands and never asked for one single dime in alimony from either of them. I did ask for (and received) child support from my childrens' father, my first husband. The amount requested was less than half what the state guidelines suggested, despite the fact that his income was literally quadruple mine. The amount he contributed didn't even come close to half what our children cost to raise. In addition, part of the reason he was able to make that much money was due to the fact that I put aside my work life to take care of him and our children, and to allow him to establish his own business.

On the other hand, I know his brother divorced and was paying more than $4,000 to his ex every month for 10 years, all alimony since they had no kids. She used it to sit around and watch soaps. Pampered her whole life and completely incapable of holding a real job.

So you can see why a lot of women get upset when the subject of money-stealing ex-wives come up. They're angry about the minority of selfish women that give us all a bad reputation, and the men who assume we're all the same.
I have to second this. If you bring a child into the world, then you must help support the child, regardless of whether the child lives with you or someone else.

So part of the money goes to rent, part goes to food, clothes, medicine ... child support for most women is never equal to the actual expense and with good reason. The mother is supposed to do her share as well.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #58  November 3,2009, 10:03pm
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...I sometimes wonder if these women that have these amazing settlements aren't urban legends. You know just enough truth to carry the story...
i wish i had been married to an urban legend. but it was a nightmare. i will not recount here what i have posted over the last year. but it is all back there somewhere.

to the OP-

i am wary of divorced women but sincerely do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. to my detriment, i trust until you give me reason not to trust you. so, if you told me you played fair- i would not even want to see your court documents.

what should you think? be happy that he likes you and enjoys your company and hasn't become completely embittered. he will heal in time. although he may think that he won't. my separation was just nine years ago and the divorce finalized seven. but custody and visitation was not completely resolved until just 18 months ago.

if you like him and he likes you, be patient.
Last edited by notyet; November 3,2009 at 10:26pm. Reason: my own
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #59  November 3,2009, 10:33pm
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avoid societal-level battles in your own relationships, that's my advice.

but honestly, i'd say you are a rare woman and your lawyer even rarer. and i'm a woman saying this. a man is safer going on the presumption that any divorcee he meets falls in with the majority. the system not only bleeds men dry, but also criminalises them in a way i'd consider, if not automatically, then darn near it.
 
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mari3434 is offline mari3434 Post #60  November 4,2009, 1:19am
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As a matrimonial lawyer, it is interesting and surprising to view people's opinions on child support. I am amazed that many people have confused the issue of child support with spousal support payments - completely different legal issues. Seeking child support has nothing to do with being a "gold digger" or lazy! Simply put, the Court certainly would not view child support in this way.
 
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