I love everything that you said. I got divorced after a long marriage and I had three kids. I did receive child support but like you said - child support doesn't come anywhere close to covering even 1/3 of all of the real expenses that the children have. And just try to get the spouse to pitch in for the little "extras" that the children need or want. Does not happen.

I can say that in every case of my friends who are divorced they did not ask for any spousal support no matter what their financial situation was. They only wanted support for their children - which is completely fair. They, like I, worked hard, sacrificed, as in I am wearing the same winter coat I bought 8 years ago so my kids could have new coats. That is just one example. Some of us also lived in a few crummy sitiations so that our children could have what they needed.

My ex walked away and started traveling - a lot!! He takes a minimum of three trips per year. And I'm not talking about getting in his little car and driving to the next state - he is taking cruises and all kinds of exotic trips. He bought an expensive sports car, bought himself a new house and all kinds of new "toys" all the while clamining that he did not have money and complaining about having to pay child support. He even took me to court and tried to have it reduced. That was a big mistake because once the judge saw is new income from getting pay increases - she increased his payments. Even when he would bother to spend time with our children they would just sit around bored the entire time they were with him because he kept saying he didn't have money to do anything with them.

So we can probably all go toe to toe on this issue forever. The bottom line really is that some women do take men for a ride when going through a divorce. Some men also take women for a ride - goes both ways. I don't happen to think that it's right for anyone to take advantage of anyone else. We should all get off our lazy butts and work. By the same token I don't like men who complain about paying child support to the ex because they feel like they are really paying the ex-wife. I guess they forget that the children have to eat, have clothes and have a roof over their heads. Not to mention school supplies, uniforms for the sports, expenses for special events, etc., etc., etc......it goes on and on. In case anyone hasn't checked lately - it's expensive raising children!

So we should not be beating each other up. Unfortunately there are bad people in the world and some people are just users. What we should not do is just make blanket statements that all women are bad or all men are bad.