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chawks64 wrote :
It's not their fault and it shouldn't be their punishment.

It's not my fault my wife left me, cheated on me, etc, and it shouldn't be my punishment.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:33 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
This thread has really made me mad. I work hard, for very little; all of it is needed for my own, tenuous, survival. There is nothing left - let alone the majority of it - for paying an idle woman!
So don't have kids with an 'idle' woman.

And yeah, if you can't afford to have kids (i.e. you need all your income for your own tenuous survival), then by all means, don't have them. Those are your individual circumstances.

What most of us are saying is that people (men and women) who do choose to have kids need to step up to the reponsibility of raising those kids - regardless of what happens to the marriage. You don't get to abdicate your responsibility to your children simply because you're ticked off at their mother.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:40 pm
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Why do you assume that you will have to pay "thousands of dollars a month" if it's based on a formula that considers your income and expenses as well as those of your ex? If someone is in fact on the verge of homelessness (as you assert you are) and their income is in fact very low (i.e., far below the median income for your area -- so significantly below $50k or so), then that would be taken into account. And in fact, it could well be the case that the ex-wife would be the one paying child support to the lower earning ex-husband if she in fact is the higher wage earner.

Think of it this way. Monthly child support would be less than you currently pay for those first dinner dates you take women on.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:42 pm
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peg099 peg099 is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
It's not my fault my wife left me, cheated on me, etc, and it shouldn't be my punishment.
Wow. No baggage huh?

And yet you assume that this hypothetical wife will have cheated on you, abandoned you, etc.

Aren't assumptions without factual evidence your very definition of baggage?
- November 5th, 2009, 06:44 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Paying thousands of dollars per month to an ex-partner, nonimally as "child support," is in fact paying for her house. (Usually his house, while he is left depending on daddy or living in inappropriate, sub-standard housing.)
Again, this statement is clearly coming from emotion rather than hard data...do you have any idea what child support payments are typically like, as well as how much expense is typically incurred by having a child?

D_Lion wrote :
Since I do not have anybody to subsidize me, I would be homeless if any portion of my pay were taken. I consider this unjust.
You also wouldn't have any child-related expenses beyond your monthly child support payment. Guess who takes the bigger economic hit once the bills are in?

D_Lion wrote :
This thread has really made me mad. I work hard, for very little; all of it is needed for my own, tenuous, survival. There is nothing left - let alone the majority of it - for paying an idle woman!
Again, an emotional reaction without any precious data...what happened to that rational viewpoint?

The bottom line is that being the person who keeps a child after a divorce is not a winning proposition economically, and your illusion of women living a life of luxury off of child support payments is (with rare exceptions I'm sure) a wild fantasy.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:49 pm
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peg099 wrote :
You don't get to abdicate your responsibility to your children simply because you're ticked off at their mother.

And you shouldn't be forced to subsidize the (errant) mother in perpetuity simply due to having had a child, which is what the sensible men are upset over.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:51 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
And you shouldn't be forced to subsidize the (errant) mother in perpetuity simply due to having had a child, which is what the sensible men are upset over.
Once again, that is not child support. It has nothing to do with child support. You are confusing the issue of child support and alimony/spousal support. (Financial) child support only continues until the child is of age. It does not continue into perpetuity, just as it does not in the case of intact marriages.

And, once again, there is no reason to believe that the ex-wife will be an "errant" mother; most clearly are not.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:57 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
And you shouldn't be forced to subsidize the (errant) mother in perpetuity simply due to having had a child, which is what the sensible men are upset over.
Once again, an assumption that the mother is errant.

And again, a total inability to place the needs of the child ahead of your own anger.

And a total inability to consider this issue based on facts instead of your own emotional response.

I don't know any sensible man who has a problem with contributing to the raising of children he chose to have. I do, however, know some men (and women) who are incapable of getting past their anger at their ex in order to do what's in the best interest of the child.

It's not about punishing one or another of the parents. It's about doing the best possible thing for the child in less than ideal circumstances.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:57 pm
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How about this?

I will readily grant that a man signing over $2100 a month out of a $2700 paycheck while his ex is capable of working but has decided to walk out the door and collect checks for a living is unfair.

Having acknowledged that, can we also acknowledge that if and when that does happen, it is the extreme exception and not the norm? You don't have to take my word for it, there are many child support calculators available online.

Can we leave the straw man behind and talk about the normal, average case?
- November 5th, 2009, 07:02 pm
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Sure glad I make the right decision before hand. It's best not to take these risks at all.
- November 5th, 2009, 07:02 pm
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