Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

About You Your healthy mind, body, and spirit play a vital role in all the important relationships of your life. Share your advice and insights here.

Reply
Page 12 of 25 « First 2 10 11 12 13 14 22 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
cardguy cardguy is online now
cardguy's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 299

See profile

First of all, your previous posts did not place any conditions on the fairness of child support, you simply made a blanket statement that it was unjust. I can't divine what you mean to say, only the statements that you actually make.


D_Lion wrote :
I (hypothetically) decided to have a child given the existence of a healthy, intact marriage to a woman with the necessary resources to make funding a child viable. (I concede not every situation fits this parameter, but mine would have.) In the event that my wife decided to abandon her commitment, I am deprived of the essential resource for supporting a child. This is an inarguable fact. Further, to have to give income to her at that point is never ethically justified.
So already you're assuming that she initiated the divorce rather than you, and that she has custody. In this example, however, the case you can make is not that you should be released of your financial obligation to the child, but the the custody arrangement was unfair. Your financial obligation to your children exists independently of the details of guardianship, such guardianship arrangements merely affect whether any transfer of assets is needed to fulfill that obligation.



D_Lion wrote :
Regarding your corollary to contracts, this is why there are bankruptcy laws and force majure provisions in contracts: in recognition to the fact that circumstances change in a way that parties to a contract are unable to fulfill obligations which they agreed to under a no-longer-existing reality.
I'm afraid you're going to have to elaborate here. What do you mean by this paragraph?

D_Lion wrote :
Your personal acceptance of non-contributing wives is not a choice I would make personally, concordantly I do not have to personally state on my feelings to that choice. To answer, I consider departing the labor market a Faustian bargain, which I would not make nor accept in my life.
Certainly you can appreciate that division of labor can lead to far greater efficiency than dividing up all tasks equally among all people...there's a good reason we're not all churning our own butter anymore. You're free to adopt that position if you choose, but again you've repeatedly declined to place conditions on your statements in this thread, instead making blanket pronouncements that simply don't follow in many situations.

D_Lion wrote :
In any case, that is not germane to a situation in which the wife was unfaithful, abandoned the husband, was an unfit parent, failed to perform the domestic duty she bargained for, etc. Yet these wives still claim and receive subsidy.
I'm playing the broken record, but again you should have qualified your statements if you intended them to be qualified. If you didn't, then your identification of specific exceptions is irrelevant to your overall point.

D_Lion wrote :
I accept your argument that marriage is ill-advised. I do not consider the (numerous) posts of this kind personally; I consider them confirmation.
I don't understand your second sentence.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:03 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#111   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,026

See profile

cp30 wrote :
really? that sure sounds like baggage to me.

I haven't read all the posts but I suspect I'm not the first to think so...

Excuse me?

How about a logical rebuttal?

When forced to make a decision with imperfect imformation, make a decision with the information available.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:05 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#112   Reply With Quote
cp30 cp30 is offline
cp30's Avatar

cp30 is making big plans...

Power Poster

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 5,351

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Excuse me?

How about a logical rebuttal?

When forced to make a decision with imperfect imformation, make a decision with the information available.
let's see. there were two pertinent items of information.

divorced woman, kids.

you assume she 'bled him dry' until further information become available.

There is not logic there, only...quite possibly baggage or possibly ignorance.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#113   Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline
Can_I_just_be_Jo's Avatar

Can_I_just_be_Jo Blissfully happy!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 624

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Change the law!
Perfect so we will add another document to a marriage. If the man wishes the woman to stay home with the children he will sign a document acknowledging the adverse effect on her earning potential. They will assign a wage to her services. She will also sign the document deferring payment until the marriage is disolved. You can add job description, duties, oh I think earned time off would be good too. Heck how about performance evaluations?

Got to keep the lawyers happy.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:10 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#114   Reply With Quote
peg099 peg099 is offline
peg099's Avatar

peg099 wishes she could sleep

Sage

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 10,943

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
You quotes Saul, but this is not responding to his issue.

In any case, two adults who seperate into two houses will have far higher housing expense. Therefore there will be less money for everything else.

There is no possible rebuttal to that fact.
Sure, combined housing costs will be higher. But that does not excuse one party from contributing to the raising of the child(ren) both opted to have.

Your point is completely irrelevant. Does a parent's obligation to his or her children end if they lose their job? Job loss results in there being less money for everything, so by your logice people can just stop caring for their kids in time of financial strife.
Last edited by peg099; November 5th, 2009 at 05:17 pm.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:14 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#115   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

notyet notyet is offline
notyet's Avatar

notyet it's alive!

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 3,207

See profile

chawks64 wrote :
...Seriously, what do we have to do for you guys to see that this is not the norm???
if i thought it was the norm i would not be looking to do it again.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#116   Reply With Quote
chawks64 chawks64 is online now
chawks64's Avatar

chawks64 can finally put country music back n the lineup again.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,937

See profile

notyet wrote :
if i thought it was the norm i would not be looking to do it again.
There's one convert!

C'mon, guys! Jump on the bandwagon!
- November 5th, 2009, 05:26 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#117   Reply With Quote
peg099 peg099 is offline
peg099's Avatar

peg099 wishes she could sleep

Sage

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 10,943

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
As a generalized answer, yes. (Jumping back in not having read the recent pages.)

I think financial obligation to children is strictly proportional to possession. If I have 100% possession, I have 100% of the obligation; if I have 0% possession, then I have 0% obligation. Anything other is unjust.
Now I understand where you're coming from. You see children as a possession - like piece of furniture or a vehicle you bought together and then one party gets to 'have'. You don't see them as human beings who have a variety of needs - physical, material, emotional, etc. They are something one partner 'wins' in the divorce, not human beings whose best interests need to be considered nor innocent bystanders in the dissolution of their parents' marriage.

Given your view on children, I agree that the best course of action for you is to not have any.

Most people (including the courts) don't see children as 'things'.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#118   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,026

See profile

My employers don't agree with the courts.

Since my employers pay me and courts do not, guess who I listen to?
- November 5th, 2009, 05:52 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#119   Reply With Quote
cardguy cardguy is online now
cardguy's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 299

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
My employers don't agree with the courts.

Since my employers pay me and courts do not, guess who I listen to?
You're going to have to elaborate here in order for this post to make any sort of sense...
- November 5th, 2009, 05:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#120   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 12 of 25 « First 2 10 11 12 13 14 22 Last »

Bookmarks

« What talent do you WISH you had? | Array | The Three Cs of Great Sex »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Shall I call, email, or not? funnyengineergal Dating 65 October 6th, 2009 09:56 pm
To Call or Not to Call islandrain80 Dating 9 September 15th, 2009 03:38 pm
Secure call is worthless to buy passat1 Using eHarmony 0 August 16th, 2009 11:44 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ha! I want to know all about it. Damn these time zones. Excited for you. ” – trixie1868

Join the “It's not Harry and Sally's turn ~ our very own rom com pitch” discussion

“Strange, maybe. I would ask him to meet on a Sat nite and see what he says. If he is truly "ranking" his dates according to the days of the week (and we don't know for sure), or has lied about some ... ” – gemend

Join the “Is there a difference between weekday and weekend dates?” discussion

“People in Hollywood are amoral people with no values but money. To be compared to them is reprehensible. Good marriages are based on trust. And if you are unhappy in your marriage, life is too ... ” – FLA123

Join the “What drives people to cheat?” discussion

“ I asked a question on the Using EHarmony board regarding FastTrack and free comunication weekend a few days ago. I'm new and didn't know the protocol. After I found out, I put a message in my ... ” – FairOne

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“If you let this slip, be prepared to let many other stuff slip. Its a clear indication that you have different expectations and definition of honesty. If someone cant be open about something simple, ... ” – olrowe

Join the “Is it a Lie or Not?” discussion

“From your own experience you've found that the majority of active men shy away from an overweight partner, for various reasons. Your choice seems to be between your self-described weakness for ... ” – hazmat

Join the “Overwieght but physically active...” discussion

“People seem to tell me everything. I don't really mind. I'm used to it. ” – FruitaBu

Join the “Why overshare?” discussion

“It sounds a little off not way off just a little. Remember you live 4 hours away and who is to say you aren't married...I assume you are not but I could say the same about you. Don't listen to your ... ” – indigirl1975

Join the “Is he still into me?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:32 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0