Interesting article regarding the various motivations as to why someone might be a "drama queen" or "crisis king." I had a potential match whose emails seemed to transition from one "crisis" to the next. First, she was involved in an affair with a pastor, then she was on her way to court over an assault issue. Therefore, the article was helpful in highlighting the psychological motivations as to why certain people behave this way.
I have a family member who I feel may possibly fall in the fifth category. All conversations are draining ... when I meet other people that have similar characteristics to my relative - RED FLAG ALERT, RED FLAG ALERT!!!
Here is something for the psychologists to work on. I wonder if there is a difference between extroverts and introverts being drama queens and crisis kings?
Here is something for the psychologists to work on. I wonder if there is a difference between extroverts and introverts being drama queens and crisis kings?
That's a very good question.
On one hand I could see it being more of an extrovert trait, love of being the centre of attention etc.
On the other hand I could see it being more of an introverts trait, hidden control issues, a reason for holding the attention of that one 'really close friend'.
#4 could have been written about my former husband, a narcissistic surgeon who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in his mid forties. But so could #1, #2, #3. I think it's important to note that #1 may contribute to the development of the narcissist and #2 and #3 should alert you to the possibility of an underlying disorder like narcissism. If someone is constantly drawing the attention to him/her self, even though they may be often very engaging, there is a problem--and you won't be able to "fix them" or help them by being drawn into it. While they may be black hole of attention seeking, they will make excuses of "emergencies" for not being able to engage emotionally or be accountable emotionally to the relationship. You can't fix them--stay away and run while you can!
The article caught my attention because i have had an inordinate amount of catastrophes in the last few years, but it doesn't apply they were all real and external. (war, hurricanes, death etc). But a couple of the 'reasons' reminded me of a
DD who was a self described 'drama queen' she is both introvert and extrovert, but in her case it definitely stemmed from an internal control issue and anger. Funny she came into the world angry and it took most of her life to "prove to her" she was well loved and could learn to exercise self control so that she didn't require an external source (getting into trouble to force others to control her every move) she is a well adjusted adult now. But Nature and nurture were both major players in the situation.
On one hand I could see it being more of an extrovert trait, love of being the centre of attention etc.
On the other hand I could see it being more of an introverts trait, hidden control issues, a reason for holding the attention of that one 'really close friend'.
Personal experience so not scientific, introverts are the dramas. Extroverts have too many things in their bag of tricks to get attention.
A lack of internal peace. Healthy people have learned how to just “be”—they know how to enjoy calm moments, savor solitude, and tolerate times of boredom. Drama queens and crisis kings need turmoil to keep them stimulated and preoccupied. They have never learned to be comfortable in their own skin and at peace with themselves, so they are drawn to people and situations that bring disruption.
This one really makes sense to me. I have a very close friend I considered dating at one time and this describes him so well. I have never met anyone pulled into more disruption. He always talks about how much he hates it, but over time I saw that he literally created huge crisis situations all by himself out of thin air. He could take a perfectly calm evening and turn it into a meltdown in 30 minutes.
It was very confusing for me because I am one of those people who like to just "be".
What would anyone say if a guy asks you "did you call my house phone last night to check up on me?"
I have called his house phone on numerous occasions, and this question kinda "took me aback"..
I was told by him it's a simple question and I read too much into it..
any thoughts?
What would anyone say if a guy asks you "did you call my house phone last night to check up on me?"
I have called his house phone on numerous occasions, and this question kinda "took me aback"..
I was told by him it's a simple question and I read too much into it..
any thoughts?
If you did call him last night say so. Wouldn't read too much into it myself. Depends on what kind of other women he has known, and remember it takes all kinds to make a world.
On topic: I know a few people like the one FruitaBu describes and I find them tiring to be around at times as I am one of those "just be" people myself..... Attention seeking behaviour is how I see it, and I have a low tolerance for that.
The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... –
Sassafras54
Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... –
emma_hazards
I have never spoken to a woman like he has.
Yeah, I have never spoken to a woman like that either.
It is a hard call to whether he is just as jerk, or whether he is a player.
Both are feasible ... –
ScottK
Harmonygirl,
I do not usually make up my mind on blanket situations but instead would examine each one on it's own merits, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the going about of daily ... –
Ephemera
I was ok until the kiss on the cheek part....That doesn't sound like your defenses were up at all...
It's one thing for a guy to walk up and start with the cheesy lines....But as soon as I say, "no ... –
Ingytravel
No. It is not wise.
You have to throw all your eggs into one basket for love to work at all. Relationships are inherently riskier than careers. You can't use the same rules.
You might lose ... –
harnomygirl
Do you have something completely stupid to talk about? Come here. Talk. It's a simple two step process. Please have a good sense of humor about all this. It is good for the heart.
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The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... – Sassafras54
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Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... – emma_hazards
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