In my opinion, I think both males and females we are very receptive to those things we want to hear, and very dismissive of those we know will hurt us. Maybe it is just myself, but I simply cannot hide away what I am feeling. As Paulo Coelho wrote on his book "The Alchemist", there is an universal language everybody speaks around the world and allow us to communicate with each other in unsuspected ways: it is called the language of enthusiasm. Females are - at least in my short experience - very perceptive, and pretending they need some advice in order to decode what a man is feeling about them is just playing around the idea they might have misunderstood his real intentions. You may want to call it an "involuntary or subconscious honesty". It is a question of personal responsibility to hear our inner voice or dismiss it, and it works both ways for men and women. Maybe the guy is charming enough to give him a second opportunity, but what are the chances he will honour that second chance when he has been clear since the first one? Why should we hurt ourselves so badly just to be sure of what we already know? Again, this is just my personal opinion and the way I feel it.
Last edited by Arthur24; October 1,2009 at 12:43am.
Reason: error in transcription from my word processor.
This article is a regurgitation from a few months ago.
I don't know why they keep posting these articles about either gender when women use the same code for the same things.
Maybe the reason is because everyday new people join and for them the thread is new. Everybody has the right of having an opinion and, who knows? maybe another point of view will give you a new perspective about the topic.
I just have never learned to play the game. Most of those things I have never said or even thought. If or when I have said any of them that is what I meant. I just am not very good at speaking in code.
Guess what? Women use the same lines. In the interest of entertainment, allow me to share a few other gems that I've personally heard from members of the "fairer" sex:
* "Sorry I've been out of touch the last 2 weeks; my cell phone was in the shop being fixed. However, I did notice that you called; no voice mail messages, though? Damn love-hate relationship with technology!" (note: she later showed me cell phone photos taken at an NBA game she attended WHILE her phone was supposedly "in the shop!" At least keep your storie straight...)
* "Work has been kicking my butt. I've been too exhausted to talk recently, but not too tired to text!"
* "I'm going through some heavy stuff in my personal life right now and am not a fun girl to be around" (note: delivered while canceling a date that SHE ASKED ME OUT ON, at the 11th hour, mind you...)
* "I'm sorry, I just don't feel any connection when we're together" (note: offered after an ultra-expensive 3rd date...also means, "I've found another sugar daddy -- one with a bigger checkbook!")
* "I can't come over your place for movies and dinner tonight. My mom has an emergency meeting with a client of hers, and I have to babysit her six dogs. If they're left alone, they'll kill each other."
Hey, we've all heard some ridiculous lines before! (If you're out there hustling up dates, like you should be, you've probably heard your fair share...) My question is: HOW DUMB DO SOME WOMEN THING WE GUYS ARE? Good grief.
And what complicates things even more is, 'when he says X but means Y'.....she is goes to tremendous lengths to try to find some way to interpret was he says as meaning Z (the thing she wants to hear).
It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage.
No.... ... –
Wiseman2
If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... –
shapeShifter79
Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates!
What specific steps did you try?
How many women did you ask out in person?
Did you buy a ... –
shapeShifter79
Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... –
Sassafras54
Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices.
QUOTE]
But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... –
eccemuliere
Do you have something completely stupid to talk about? Come here. Talk. It's a simple two step process. Please have a good sense of humor about all this. It is good for the heart.
"Interests: Gardening, Cooking, Baking, The Gym, Going For Walks With My Daughter, Bubble Baths, Red Wine, Dark Beer, Funny Stories And Quirky Movies." View profile
Newbie
Joined: Sep 2009
Calgary, AB, Canada
Posts: 2
See profile
has all the tools and can........satisfy
Power Poster
Joined: Sep 2008
New Jersey
Posts: 7,318
See profile
Newbie
Joined: Sep 2009
Calgary, AB, Canada
Posts: 2
See profile
And now for something completely different...
Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2009
The Island of Rhode
Posts: 5,672
See profile
I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love
Sage
Joined: Jan 2008
Orlando, FL
Posts: 18,865
See profile
Out by the dawn's early light, my love, I will defend your right to try.
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2008
OR
Posts: 2,392
See profile
Quick Study
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 113
See profile
~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle
Power Poster
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,438
See profile
Virtuoso
Joined: May 2009
Northwest
Posts: 3,239
See profile
...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.
Sage
Joined: Jun 2008
Brownsville, TX
Posts: 10,932
See profile
Looking for a Great Relationship?
Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.
Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards
It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... – Wiseman2
Join the First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email? discussion
If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... – shapeShifter79
Join the How do i recoonect with him again? discussion
Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... – shapeShifter79
Join the For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone discussion
This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. – shapeShifter79
Join the is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive? discussion
I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me. – boomer_gal
Join the Why am I not successful? discussion
Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... – Sassafras54
Join the Being blown off, or something else? discussion
Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... – eccemuliere
Join the Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You? discussion