I have curves and am proud!


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cristenie is offline cristenie Post #1  September 2,2009, 7:49pm

laughing at what a dating world we live in :-)

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I am happy to have curves...

I have fluctuated in weight since Jr. High... from 145 to 118 to where I am now as 170 (after having lost 105 and maintained for 6 years). I find it difficult to sometimes explain to a man when we are in the email/chat process that I am not a Barbie nor do I want to be. When I do finally get the chance to say it I usually get the "I love women with curves". To me it is the line to bait me... lol Either way when we get to meeting in person I get a great reception and yet I am still self conscience. I always go into it thinking they will take one look at me and not like what they see. Still single... lol I don't get the rejection for the weight, I get the rejection because I am the "nice girl" or "feels more like a friend" talk. I feel there are men out there that like women like me and I will find the one that will love me for me and not see the outside but what is within.

I wanted to post to say that I am proud to have curves and sorry for all those who have missed out on the opportunity to get to know me. I also wanted to give props for all the other women or men out there that are worried about self image and smile with them!


PS... I love the teddy bear guy that makes me laugh more than the Abercrombie guy that is worried about his abs!
 
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melizabeth is offline melizabeth Post #2  September 2,2009, 8:29pm
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I am so with you on this one!!
 
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winn is offline winn Post #3  September 3,2009, 4:18am

Please tell me where I can find a normal man???

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I am with you, girl!!

I was 120 1bs for literally 25 yhears, except for the years in between where I had my two kids, but as soon as I hit the age of 40 someone cast a spell on me and I no longer can get below 140 1bs. (Please remember that I have a petite bone structure and I'm only 5'5" tall). The stomach that i have developed from two babies, age and a few surgeries really bothers me. I'm happy with my ample bust and have been told that i have great legs (at least from the knees down)but my stomach is an irritant to me. I'm always extremely self conscious about my looks when I meet someone new on a date.

So i was pleasantly surprised when I went on a first date a few months ago and the man could not get over my looks. He kept stopping in mid sentence and telling me that he thought i was very beautiful. There's a part of me that thinks he's as blind as a bat but there's another part of me that was grateful for the compliments because it helped me to reinforce in my mind the fact that this middle aged broad isn't so bad to look at after all.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  September 3,2009, 6:00am
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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Cris (if I may call you that?)

I think the key at any age and weight is to be happy and comfortable in who we are. And most important, to like ourselves! Self-confidence and self-assurance are secret weapons capable of carrying one through many awkward situations in life.

I would not feel the need to explain to a man that I am not a Barbie. I would just post those pics, so he can see for himself if he found your body type appealing. I would assume that if he communicates at all, he is OK with it. I would definitely go into the meeting with the assumption that he is going to take one look at me and not only like what he sees, but want to see more of it!

To say one is not a Barbie is almost a little...defensive, to my way of thinking. Many slim women are self accomplished women, and the use of the term Barbie almost seems to imply...otherwise. Abercrombie guys are capable of laughter and not all are worried about their abs, either. In the end, we are all human beings, and we should all try harder to accept others as they are, no matter their body type!

Being single at 31 is hardly a shame. When you do marry, you will probably make a far wiser choice than you would have at 21.
 
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tumbleweed is offline tumbleweed Post #5  September 3,2009, 8:06am
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the last woman i was dating was about 185 and i thought she was hot!,, well she thought she needed lipo and was willing to pay the $6,000 to get it done, she was always comparing herself to others, other than the fact she changed her mind about living in the country her vanity was my biggest complant,, i think hollywood has distorted our view as to what is beutiful,, brittny spears ist hot , i find her way to skinny on the other hand marolin monroe is hot!!but some would say she is fat on todays standards, i did date a woman for about 1 1/5 year that was 6 foot and 245 but again i never thought she was fat, i think if you were to ask me what my ideal range would be id have to honestly say 150 - 220,, but im not saying anything outside this range would be unatractive
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #6  September 3,2009, 8:48am

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Hmm... I've never cared about what other people thought about me. If someone has a problem with something about me, my usual reply is "then don't be around me".

I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt that once said "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  September 3,2009, 9:12am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I don't get why people need to make a point of telling others that they're 'proud' of something. Unless maybe they're really trying to convince themselves.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #8  September 3,2009, 9:30am
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waypoint_finder wrote :
Hmm... I've never cared about what other people thought about me. If someone has a problem with something about me, my usual reply is "then don't be around me".

I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt that once said "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".
Yes, she did, and that is one of my favorite quotes.
 
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mws1967 is offline mws1967 Post #9  September 3,2009, 11:10am
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+1

jayjay wrote :
I don't get why people need to make a point of telling others that they're 'proud' of something. Unless maybe they're really trying to convince themselves.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #10  September 3,2009, 11:36am
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I am going to agree with j0hn8andy, there is absolutely no reason why you need to give any disclaimers that you don't believe you are a "barbie". And frankly, looking at your profile picture I think you are a very attractive woman and if a guy turns you down because you don't match whatever weight requirements he might have than that is his loss.

I have encountered plenty of women that I am sure have turned me down because I am not one of those guys who work out and look fit. This is okay. I am not going to lie, I have told myself numerous times that one of these days I would start exercising more at least to lose 30-40lbs.

I am also not going to sit here and say I haven't been shallow in the past or that I am not shallow. I have closed matches out because I looked at their picture and found them to be not attractive. But that has nothing to do with their weight, I have closed out skinny girls, average girls, and girls who were more than just "curvy".

I think it is a tough area because we all have preferences, and we all try to be very careful though not to come off as a jerk.
 
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