Do you have "frenemies"?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  August 24,2009, 11:56am
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I read this article:
Why do women have frenemies? - CNN.com

and wondered how many of our Advicers have "frenemies"?

Frankly, I don't think I ever have, and the "frenemies" described in this article sound so distasteful to me that I can't imagine even knowing let alone hanging out with anyone like this!

Also - the article is very female-focused but are "frenemies" indeed a gender-specific phenomenon?
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #2  August 24,2009, 1:54pm
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Not anymore....and usually if you befriend women who are goal oriented and who are generally satisfied with their quality of life you don't tend to have "frenemies". From what I can gather from male social circles this ideology may go by a different name...the idea of the "alpha" male? I think the ultimate "frenemie" movie would have to be "Bride Wars" and though men can be competitive I think women make it a true art form
Maybe it has to do with the fact that a man can hit another man and it's done with and they may even end up friends but not so in woman's world More often than not we are devising the ultimate revenge
 
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shellyg is offline shellyg Post #3  August 24,2009, 3:07pm
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Yes.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #4  August 24,2009, 6:30pm

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No. I do not have friends that I do not respect and vice versa.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #5  August 24,2009, 9:46pm
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Oh, goodness no! I go for the friendships where we're supportive of each other instead of trying to compete with each other...lol.
 
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verylibra is offline verylibra Post #6  August 25,2009, 5:57am
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I've made the mistake of taking on a few of these in the past. It took me awhile to figure out. Now I'm a bit more cautious.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #7  August 25,2009, 6:14am
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Why does this seem to be discussed primarily in female circles? Of all the men that I know, I've never heard of this occurring in mens' friendships. I'm not saying it doesn't happen with men, but I've never noticed it and it seems like the women have the market cornered on these on-and-off again toxic friendships.

Just wondering.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #8  August 25,2009, 7:28am
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Frenemies do exist, probably only within the female circle because women are more petty. You don't see men being petty, they are more macho.

I had a frenemie. We had been friends for 20 plus years, not close friends but we'd help each other out, worked on committees together etc... There were many times she'd get on my nerves and I let it pass because she was diabetic and I found her to be very moody and attributed it to low blood sugar. But the day dawned when I found out she was really an enemy and I walked away never to grace her with my presence again. It was exhilirating for me and I've not looked back.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #9  August 25,2009, 2:48pm
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I did have one frenemy and I am glad I don't see her anymore. What made it hard was I had to see this person because of work. I won't go into detail because I hate to even think of all the stress this person caused me by talking about me behind my back etc. but it was a hard thing to deal with once I finally admitted it was really happening. (sometimes I have a hard time seeing bad in people.)

I do think sometimes women can be catty on occasion but I think that is different from the frenemy thing which seems to be a pattern of behavior directed at one person. I also think it may take a time to recognize this behavior in someone and by then you may have mixed emotions because you initally liked somethings about this person. The best thing to do is to distance yourself quickly, and as politely from this person. Usually I recommend trying to work through issues with friends but if someone is really sabotaging you then it really is best to move on to someone that is positive and supportive.

I need all the cheerleaders in my life I can get.
 
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metamucilmuffin is offline metamucilmuffin Post #10  August 26,2009, 1:19pm
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Male frenemies do exist, but they are rare and vastly outnumbered by their female counterparts. I think the difference is that male frenemies don't start out as frenemies; they are usually old school chums who have drifted apart. They try to connect again years later and find their relationship has changed. They are competitive with each other, bordering on petty, and not really supportive- it's keeping up with the Joneses 24/7.
 
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