Just a "durty old man"? No!


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aldeberan is offline aldeberan Post #1  August 19,2009, 9:40am
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Last edited by aldeberan; August 21,2009 at 12:20pm.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  August 19,2009, 10:10am
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I'm unclear to me what you are asking. Are you saying that, at age 65, you want to start a family and have children? And that you are dating women 40 years your junior in order to try to accomplish that?

I do think that most people find it a little creepy when a guy goes after women young enough to be his granddaughter, so you can expect that reaction wherever you go -- not just from the women at your alumni events.

What is it that you are really want to get out of this?
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #3  August 19,2009, 10:20am
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aldeberan wrote :
Here's a conundrum for you:

I am 65 years old and don't have any children. For the past few years, I've been chided by a number of my acquaintances because of this. ("Oh, he must be really hard to get along with....")

Now, obviously, if I go out with women my age, I couldn't have any kids with them, so I need to date women younger than I am. Consequently, I've been doing just that for the past year. In fact, two of them were in their twenties. I attended a recent alumni event with one of the 20-somethings, and some of my "friends" were aghast, especially the women.

What's the deal here?
This from a man who is seventy:

I'm not sure that I understand a question here. Are you saying that you want to have children because of pressure from friends? That you are dating young women in hopes of getting one pregnant? Are they aware of the intent (if it is present)? Are you asking for approval of that course of action?

It is usually unwise to attempt to live according to the expectations of others.

Are you asking for reassurance that you are not a "dirty old man"? If so, why do you need to ask?
 
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Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #4  August 19,2009, 10:27am
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I'm in my early 30's and the mere thought of sleeping with a man as old as you totally creeps me out. My paternal grandfather is younger than you.
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #5  August 19,2009, 10:50am
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Ms666 wrote :
I'm in my early 30's and the mere thought of sleeping with a man as old as you totally creeps me out. My paternal grandfather is younger than you.
Your personal preferences are not related to the question (and are not requested). If other women DO choose to "sleep with" him, that is their business (and his). There are other questions involved that require focus beyond the self.

As an aside, if your paternal grandfather is younger than 65 and you are 31, reproduction seems to occur relatively early (less than average of 17 -- pregnancy at 16?) in your family -- which might "creep out" many people.
 
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HappyandLight is offline HappyandLight Post #6  August 19,2009, 11:34am
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aldeberan wrote :
Here's a conundrum for you:

I am 65 years old and don't have any children. For the past few years, I've been chided by a number of my acquaintances because of this. ("Oh, he must be really hard to get along with....")

Now, obviously, if I go out with women my age, I couldn't have any kids with them, so I need to date women younger than I am. Consequently, I've been doing just that for the past year. In fact, two of them were in their twenties. I attended a recent alumni event with one of the 20-somethings, and some of my "friends" were aghast, especially the women.

What's the deal here?
*************
You must have money because if you didn't, no younger woman would want you. Or it would be extremely exceptional or a foreigner who wants a green card.

I'll be honest...I don't respect men who go after much younger women. I don't respect them for several reasons.

And this comes from experience. I ended it with a bf who was 13 years older. He claimed to be so deep and counter cultural and looking beyond the outer...yet I could tell he was enamored with my youth (as compared to him). I felt that was the driving force for him to me but I didn't connect with him enough on an emotional/moral level to want to be with him further. I don't think he ever "got it".

Oh, onetime he said, "I guess I'll have to find an old hag for myself". That truly disgusted me. How dare he put down women his own age when he is aging himself AND when he CLAIMED to be so much deeper than most. BLECH!!!

Onetime I was at a green singles event. I was approached by a man who had to be in his 60's (I was 40?). He had a bloated belly, balding head, and wore polyester waist high pants. He looked like he could be on the cover of RV Living. I, however, was dressed in youthful/urban clothing and was very trim. He approached me and talked my ear off...and made such an assumption we are even close to a match! Do men even think? We do not look alike, and we are not even in the same era but this man felt ENTITLED and instead of feeling the waters with me, he just jumped right in ASSUMING I thought he was God's gift! Totally annoying and not something women do. Women do not prey on younger men and if they did like a younger man they would keep themselves in check first and see if he was interested before even seriously thinking about it.

So I guess what I am saying is the arrogance of men sometimes is astounding. It doesn't matter their age, their attractiveness, or not even their pocketbook...some feel entitled to have what they want instead of appreciating the great women in their age group who they would have more in common with.

I remember I had a male friend who was newly single. He was cute and trim but was on disability, had a low income and no career/no ambition. He actually told me he was excited about all the younger women! I was like "J, you do not have enough to offer for them" and I was right. He rightly found a woman his age or older, similar financial situation and it's working. But he felt entitled, didn't think twice about his desire and how appropriate it was.

I can't stand how they are older themselves but cannot accept older women of their own age. It displays a lack of acceptance for themselves and others. And there are so many great, FIT, older women who would make ideal companions that some men reject because they can't accept who they are and their own age.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with being bald, or older, or even pot bellied...but please don't assume you are a God because of it.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #7  August 19,2009, 11:41am

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aldeberan wrote :

Now, obviously, if I go out with women my age, I couldn't have any kids with them, so I need to date women younger than I am. Consequently, I've been doing just that for the past year. In fact, two of them were in their twenties. I attended a recent alumni event with one of the 20-somethings, and some of my "friends" were aghast, especially the women.

What's the deal here?
Your friends, particularily the women, are thinking "gosh darn! I've known him all these years and he never told me he was RICH!"
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #8  August 19,2009, 11:42am
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The deal is you like to toot your horn, here or at alumni events. The bit about the kids, etc is, poetic license, to entertain us all. Thanks..
aldeberan wrote :
Here's a conundrum for you:
I am 65 years old and don't have any children. For the past few years, I've been chided by a number of my acquaintances because of this. ("Oh, he must be really hard to get along with...."
Now, obviously, if I go out with women my age, I couldn't have any kids with them, so I need to date women younger than I am. Consequently, I've been doing just that for the past year. In fact, two of them were in their twenties. I attended a recent alumni event with one of the 20-somethings, and some of my "friends" were aghast, especially the women.
What's the deal here?
 
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aldeberan is offline aldeberan Post #9  August 19,2009, 1:03pm
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Last edited by aldeberan; August 21,2009 at 12:21pm.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #10  August 19,2009, 1:25pm
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aldeberan wrote :
I didn't expect this many answers so quickly! I would like to thank most of you for your input.

I'm trying to be sincere about this "situation" because I certainly didn't plan it this way. I've been engaged, etc, but nothing ever worked out. So I try to be pleasant to all members of the opposite sex and try to socialize, wearing semi-casual clothes, sometimes even a tie, but never polyester pants. Sometimes I assist with job fairs for recent college graduates. That's where I met one of my dates. She insisted on working with me, and before I knew it, she was sitting on my lap! Do you think I just "read too much" into that gesture?

Anyway, if it's too late for me to have kids, then so be it. Just please don't look at guys like me like we're irresponsible reprobates, and we won't remind you about the time you...
No, I don't think you read too much into it; you didn't read enough into it, and I am wondering why you let her do this? Any respectable older man (almost 50 years her senior) would have not allowed that to continue. It shows her obvious immaturity and this is what you would want to mother children for you? Aside from that how do you think her Dad (or parents in particular) would feel about your dating their much too younger daughter? The rules of society have changed so much from when I was a younger girl. Forty years ago other fellows may have taken you out back and beat you.
Last edited by landstar59; August 19,2009 at 1:26pm. Reason: punctuation, spelling
 
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