Amp Up Your Attractive Factor

Amp Up Your Attractive Factor

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Amp Up Your Attractive Factor


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Bobzeaux is offline Bobzeaux Post #1  August 15,2009, 1:22am
Bobzeaux's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 16

See profile

"Pay attention to your thoughts."
Doesn't every other piece of dating advice you come across read similar to "stop thinking, just do"?
"Your thoughts are like an arrow made of positive or negative intention. Words are the bow that fires them off into the world. And they will land where you aim."
What if you continue to miss the target no matter how many hours you spend practicing?  What if you can't even find a target worth shooting to begin with?
"Suppose you knew that today you’d meet someone special. How would it change the way you behave? Make a list of those things—then live every day that way."
What about all that talk about just being yourself?  What if you can't imagine how you'd act differently (especially when you keep hearing again and again how you shouldn't be playing games and stay truthful)? 
 
"In your quest for love, adjust your attitude upward, remain persistently positive, and expect the best. Then get ready to experience it."
Sorry, but thinking positively just always lead to a greater disappointment for me.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  August 18,2009, 7:22pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,438

See profile

Well, in reference to the article, I dont really think about that "special someone" as much as I remember that life is short! I don't want to waste it worrying about or concerning myself with things I have no control over! Man, once a minute is gone its gone . And no one is guaranteed tomorrow.
 
  Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #3  August 19,2009, 5:12am
CreolePrinces…'s Avatar

It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

The Dirty South

Posts: 2,575

See profile

Well, there's my problem. I don't hold my tongue. I"ve tried, but it doesn't work. And if I knew I was meeting "the one" today, the only thing I would like change are my shoes...cause if he asked me out, I would definately need comfortable shoes to hang out with him in, and not the ones that I'm wearing right now. But my beahvior wouldn't change a bit. I am who I am, and my dream man should accept me for who I am.
 
  Reply With Quote
Archtiect44 is offline Archtiect44 Post #4  August 22,2009, 10:21pm
Archtiect44's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2008

Atlanta, GA

Posts: 1

See profile

You're over thinking a very basic concept. No one wants more pessimism & negativity in their life. You can be positive without setting yourself up for disappointment.
If it helps, I took a break from dating earlier this year. I now have a more casual attitude and don't worry about the next date/match ... and I'm getting more ladies contacting me than I can deal with. I also have no expectations of each lady I chat with or meet, unlike last year where I'd be disappointed when things didn't work out. No harm, no foul ... just keep trying. Good to take a break every now & then though to recharge your batteries.
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 22,2009, 10:46pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

What if you stopped playing "what if would/could/should" scenarios in your head and simply BE.

For some reason, a lot of people interpret being themselves as being on their best bahavior, and a certain minority even considers being on their worst behavior on the first date as the best option. Both are not natural and usually don't end well.

Just be who you are and feel what you feel - a little nervousness is natural and nothing than a drink and a laugh with a "special someone" can't fix. But if you suffer from a lot of nerves that prevent you from being who you are, then you need to come up with strategies of alleviating that - stopping "what if" games in your mind is one of those and can be quite helpful.
 
  Reply With Quote
Emj is offline Emj Post #6  August 28,2009, 12:01am
Emj's Avatar

looking forward to meet his man!

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Cebu

Posts: 2

See profile

Nanette wrote :
Well, in reference to the article, I dont really think about that "special someone" as much as I remember that life is short! I don't want to waste it worrying about or concerning myself with things I have no control over! Man, once a minute is gone its gone . And no one is guaranteed tomorrow.

I love this post!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Introvert or extrovert? | About You | Do you have "frenemies"? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Do men really like full figured women? DIVINE_DESIGNS7 About You 437 January 15,2012 4:28pm
Don't be more girlie than me LizziePooh About You 44 February 22,2010 8:24pm
Attractive women ignore me delux269 Ask a Dating Expert 12 August 6,2009 6:07pm
My matches are too attractive! simplylive Using eHarmony 6 August 2,2009 7:23pm
Online dating and the distance factor. Benevolence32 Dating 33 July 26,2009 6:36am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:31am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0