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Bobzeaux Bobzeaux is offline
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"Pay attention to your thoughts."


Doesn't every other piece of dating advice you come across read similar to "stop thinking, just do"?



"Your thoughts are like an arrow made of positive or negative intention. Words are the bow that fires them off into the world. And they will land where you aim."


What if you continue to miss the target no matter how many hours you spend practicing?  What if you can't even find a target worth shooting to begin with?


"Suppose you knew that today you’d meet someone special. How would it change the way you behave? Make a list of those things—then live every day that way."


What about all that talk about just being yourself?  What if you can't imagine how you'd act differently (especially when you keep hearing again and again how you shouldn't be playing games and stay truthful)? 


 


"In your quest for love, adjust your attitude upward, remain persistently positive, and expect the best. Then get ready to experience it."


Sorry, but thinking positively just always lead to a greater disappointment for me.

- August 15th, 2009, 02:22 am
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Nanette Nanette is offline
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Well, in reference to the article, I dont really think about that "special someone" as much as I remember that life is short! I don't want to waste it worrying about or concerning myself with things I have no control over! Man, once a minute is gone its gone . And no one is guaranteed tomorrow.


- August 18th, 2009, 08:22 pm
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CreolePrincess CreolePrincess is offline
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CreolePrincess It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

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Well, there's my problem. I don't hold my tongue. I"ve tried, but it doesn't work. And if I knew I was meeting "the one" today, the only thing I would like change are my shoes...cause if he asked me out, I would definately need comfortable shoes to hang out with him in, and not the ones that I'm wearing right now. But my beahvior wouldn't change a bit. I am who I am, and my dream man should accept me for who I am.

- August 19th, 2009, 06:12 am
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Archtiect44 Archtiect44 is offline
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You're over thinking a very basic concept. No one wants more pessimism & negativity in their life. You can be positive without setting yourself up for disappointment.


If it helps, I took a break from dating earlier this year. I now have a more casual attitude and don't worry about the next date/match ... and I'm getting more ladies contacting me than I can deal with. I also have no expectations of each lady I chat with or meet, unlike last year where I'd be disappointed when things didn't work out. No harm, no foul ... just keep trying. Good to take a break every now & then though to recharge your batteries. Cool

- August 22nd, 2009, 11:21 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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What if you stopped playing "what if would/could/should" scenarios in your head and simply BE.

For some reason, a lot of people interpret being themselves as being on their best bahavior, and a certain minority even considers being on their worst behavior on the first date as the best option. Both are not natural and usually don't end well.

Just be who you are and feel what you feel - a little nervousness is natural and nothing than a drink and a laugh with a "special someone" can't fix. But if you suffer from a lot of nerves that prevent you from being who you are, then you need to come up with strategies of alleviating that - stopping "what if" games in your mind is one of those and can be quite helpful.
- August 22nd, 2009, 11:46 pm
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Emj Emj is offline
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Nanette wrote :
Well, in reference to the article, I dont really think about that "special someone" as much as I remember that life is short! I don't want to waste it worrying about or concerning myself with things I have no control over! Man, once a minute is gone its gone . And no one is guaranteed tomorrow.

I love this post!
- August 28th, 2009, 01:01 am
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