landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #1  August 14,2009, 7:05am
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Have you ever considered getting one? What if you got exactly what you ordered? Case in point, someone asked me for a specific item at work last night so I gave them EXACTLY what they asked for and they were disappointed. I reminded them, "be careful what you ask for, you just might get it". I gave them what they asked for because I am a literal kind of girl. How many gals wish there were mail order grooms and would you order one?
 
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Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #2  August 14,2009, 7:07am
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Oh yeah I'd order a mail-order groom, as long as there was a liberal return policy.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #3  August 14,2009, 7:11am
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I would consider being a mail order bride, depending on the remuneration package on offer, and only if I'm mailed in First Class.

A mail order groom may be a problem for me - we have very tough quarantine laws in Australia.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #4  August 14,2009, 8:38am
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If i ordered a mail order bride the post office would probably deliver a fridge.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  August 14,2009, 8:47am
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
I would consider being a mail order bride, depending on the remuneration package on offer, and only if I'm mailed in First Class.

A mail order groom may be a problem for me - we have very tough quarantine laws in Australia.
You are flying coach
 
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1passionatefem is offline 1passionatefem Post #6  August 14,2009, 10:34am
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I really hate to share this story because I think it demoralizes women to a degree-but the conditions his wife describes that she experienced in her home country were deplorable and I understand why she did this. A friend that I work with ordered a mail order bride from Russia-three years ago. He was an average looking man with a good heart and a good personality and very intelligent but was very unsuccessful in the dating world for various reasons. He is now happily married to his wife and they are expecting their first child.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  August 14,2009, 11:27am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I knew a family that did something a bit similar to the mail order bride. In this family the kids were half Chinese and a bit on the traditional side. When the sons got to be in their 30s or so a couple of them went to China. They spent several months there and met Chinese women that they eventually married and brought to the U.S.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #8  August 14,2009, 11:41am
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I'm not 100% sure if it was "mail order" but this is my experienced. Some older members here will probably remember i posted about this before.

My parents got divorced in 1987. In 1988, my father went to China...and came back married. Apparently he had been corresponding with someone in China (before internet dating here). Pretty much, 16 year old me was left alone for pretty much the entire summer as my father picked up and got married.

In 1996. I return home from college to find that this woman used my absence while I was away for school to get my father to choose between his only son and her. He chose her. I was kicked out of the house and that was the last time i spoke to my father.

I've heard rumors from other sources since then, but have not been in touch with my father since. From multiple sources, I hear he is miserable. This woman has used him to emigrate her entire family here and at the same time, estranged him from all his friends and family. She has pretty much locked his life down where he has no where to go. I heard that my grandmother, HIS MOTHER, lived in fear that she would be tossed out on the street at any time. I had to find out my grandmother died through an estate check for work purpose and i just had a thought in my mind that i should check. My grandmother also died penniless except some small assets that had to be probated.. It seems my father pretty much took all her money and savings. I have no doubt that he did it at her insisting.

The way i see it, you do this because you want a short cut to marriage. As with any relationship, you're rolling the dice whether or not you're going to be compatible, but with this system, it seems like an all or nothing deal. Marriage or nothing. If you're lucky, this could work out for you, but more than likely, you'll find friction and without a foundation to deal with that friction, that can turn into reasons for divorce.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #9  August 14,2009, 2:30pm

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wow. thanks for sharing that story daefron. That had to be really hard on you.

No. I'd rather be alone than have a made-to-order groom!
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #10  August 14,2009, 3:22pm

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Dafearon wrote :
I'm not 100% sure if it was "mail order" but this is my experienced. Some older members here will probably remember i posted about this before.

My parents got divorced in 1987. In 1988, my father went to China...and came back married. Apparently he had been corresponding with someone in China (before internet dating here). Pretty much, 16 year old me was left alone for pretty much the entire summer as my father picked up and got married.

In 1996. I return home from college to find that this woman used my absence while I was away for school to get my father to choose between his only son and her. He chose her. I was kicked out of the house and that was the last time i spoke to my father.

I've heard rumors from other sources since then, but have not been in touch with my father since. From multiple sources, I hear he is miserable. This woman has used him to emigrate her entire family here and at the same time, estranged him from all his friends and family. She has pretty much locked his life down where he has no where to go. I heard that my grandmother, HIS MOTHER, lived in fear that she would be tossed out on the street at any time. I had to find out my grandmother died through an estate check for work purpose and i just had a thought in my mind that i should check. My grandmother also died penniless except some small assets that had to be probated.. It seems my father pretty much took all her money and savings. I have no doubt that he did it at her insisting.

The way i see it, you do this because you want a short cut to marriage. As with any relationship, you're rolling the dice whether or not you're going to be compatible, but with this system, it seems like an all or nothing deal. Marriage or nothing. If you're lucky, this could work out for you, but more than likely, you'll find friction and without a foundation to deal with that friction, that can turn into reasons for divorce.

Sorry to hear what happened to you with your dad.
I've pretty much heard the same story repeated by men and posted on the internet. Maybe back in the 80s it seemed like a great idea. Get a conservative wife who you can spoil and she can spoil you.

Then stories about Russian and other bride order wives started pouring out. First they are super sweet to the guy. They go out of their way to demonstrate they "are better than American women."

Meanwhile she is indoctrinating the guy, saying his family members don't love him and forcing a wedge. She gives him the best sex of his life so he's putty in her hands. She continues her indoctrination until he's repeating her phrases without knowing it.

Pregnancy comes next and there is joy for a few years. Then kapow!@ Next thing you know the wife has become a monster-the family in laws knew all along she was controlling. But now that the kid is a few years old and daddie is hooked on the kid, she strikes.

Money is what she wants and that includes paying for bringing family members over. All of a sudden the "perfect wife" becomes unhappy and super demanding. In order to make her happy, the guy does almost anthing. Some give up their children from a first marriage.

One problem is the mail order bride has lived in a more desperate country. So she has skills that are superior to other women here. Charm, self-assurance and some are so aggressive as to almost act like men. I forgot where I was going but I've heard some real horror stories.

I've seen firsthand great guys getting destroyed and ripped apart by some of these women. I mean, some of these women are experts and probably have done the same thing to their first husband in their own country.

Another thing is some of these women engage in sex with other men. They use this as leverage in case things don't work out with their husband. Or they turn their new sex buddy into an ally. Some of these women are bi-sexual and form alliances with women. These women then aid the mail order bride during divorce.

So watch out for the land mines! The only real way to be sure is to know the family of the bride. And of course to know the bride to be. Another way is to marry a foreign woman who already lives in America. But that's not 100% insurance she won't do any of the above.

A very long time ago I thought of using this method to get married. Today with the economy worse off in other countries, it's buyer beware. You don't know what guerrilla/s are threatening their family. Or other economic desperate times that force women overseas to say anything to hook
an American man.

I feel sorry for some of these women. Very young and force to marry some older guy. Or a stranger that might hurt them. I'd imagine a lot of these women are innocent victims of a bad economy. Some of these women are very young, in their teens and early twenties who marry a much older American man.

I've also heard and saw the reverse where it did work for some. Maybe those were the lucky couples?
Last edited by roguewolf1; August 14,2009 at 3:26pm.
 
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