Single Dads: Top Ten User Comments

Single Dads: Top Ten User Comments

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Single Dads: Top Ten User Comments


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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #1  July 29,2009, 8:16pm
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"There's no greater turn on than a man who is a natural with children."
That's so sweet, but naive! Just to keep it in perspective most step-families fail, and very quickly.
It is dam hard work, full of rejection, indifference, and not a lot of time for each other. Consider, "Plenty of hard evidence for it. There isn't one stepmother in there who's even halfway decent. (Referring to fairy tale book) They're an evil breed. Anyway, who ever like other people's children?" Nanny McPhee.
Oh, I do recall a mate who found himself the target of various matchmakers after his wife died. He left town with his two cute kids. He is happy enough.
For myself, I've never had any impression that my sons (whose mother died after we'd divorced) were any "chick magnet." My neighbours adorable Labrador is much better. Woman seem to be drawn to me depending on who I am. Oh, a few have expressed clearly that my children were an "issue" for them. Understandable. Dates with the kids are "interesting." And some folk just feel comfortable having sex when other children are in the house. Weekends away are nice, but there are limits. I’ve much better time as my children grew older and no longer are as dependent. It has been much better with my children parallel but not involved in any relationship. This is not to mention things like child care, diminished finances, and that dental appointments, parent teacher interviews and "tantrums" always, ALWAYS take precedence. If you've frail emotions, stay away from single dad's. The children have a “mum.” Don't need aanyone else.  And I don't need the grief!
 
 
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bodyworkdianason is offline bodyworkdianason Post #2  July 30,2009, 2:51pm
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,
>--On Thur., 7/30/09, aprox. 3:44 pm, Per Diem, Per Capita: WROTE: As per said Ad. acticle Single Dads: 'Top Ten User Comments ' Is ur acticle a little bit biggided? Just a hair maybe,
what if a female has to play both rolls in the widow stat'es, 4 23yrs.
before she became a widow?
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #3  July 31,2009, 7:36pm

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This is the worst article on "single dads" I've read in awhile. 
 
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Snick8699 is offline Snick8699 Post #4  August 1,2009, 5:31am
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Single dads need to date single moms so everyone "gets it"...the dedication, the priorities, the importance of the children. I am close friends with a man and I love his children fiercely and treat them like my own when we're all together and trust me, his kids are HIGH MAINTENANCE. I would do the same for any man I was romantically involved with.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  August 1,2009, 11:33am
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Blended families are EXTREMELY difficult. Add to that the difficulties associated with a relationship where the other parent is probably not out of the picture, and the person is obviously divorced, sometimes numerous times (and we know what that means statistically).

My opinion is that most single parents should stay that way until their kids are grown. I have much more respect for men that do that than the ones that are dating random women while kids are still at home.

I will never forget the guy that I was matched with on eH where all he did was ask questions related to his children: "How will I make memories for them" and blah blah blah about his kids! After the first set of questions we fast tracked and he told me that he was widowed and was tired of taking care of his kids by himself!
 
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Snick8699 is offline Snick8699 Post #6  August 2,2009, 8:41am
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Nanette wrote :
My opinion is that most single parents should stay that way until their kids are grown. I have much more respect for men that do that than the ones that are dating random women while kids are still at home.
As a single parent, I disagree. There is a way to go about dating without involving the children until the relationship has reached a certain level. I have been actively dating for 2 years and my daughter has not met anyone yet. She really doesn't even know I'm "dating" but understands I go out with my "friends" on occasion. I'm not purposely hiding it from her, just don't want to involve her in that part of my life yet. I have joint custody so this arrangement works out well. I date when I don't have her home with me. She will meet someone only after I've been consistently dating him for a couple months.

I don't feel single parents should miss out on the opportunities for love and companionship just because they have other priorities. The idea is to meet someone who understands them and can handle them. I've dated a few single dads who thought the same way I did and respected the boundaries as they had them as well.

Parents do need to put their children first, but they also owe their children a happy mom/dad who also looks after themselves and their own needs.
 
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genuineintegrity is offline genuineintegrity Post #7  August 2,2009, 8:35pm
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As a single woman with NO children, it is simply too difficult to become involved with a man who has adult-children whom he is still heavily involved with.  All his attentions go into his children and not the woman in his life.  Though I realize that his adult-children are a part of his life, after age 50, a man needs to realize that he needs to develop an adult relationship with the woman of his dreams, instead of focusing on his daughter(s) that he worships.  As well, a man over 50 whose best friends are his adult sons, well that's dangerous as well.  There is a difference between a parent and a friend.  From a single woman's perspective, if I'm in love with a man he will have my ulmost attention, he will become the center of my world until death do us part.  We will be equal partners.  If the man is still placing his focus and energies on his adult daughters or sons, where do I fit into his life?  Certainly not the center.  So why should I sell myself short?  I'm not interested in being anyone's mother, step-mother, etc at 50+ years old.  I will respect his family and include them into 'OUR' life, but his children will NOT be the center of 'OUR' life.  It's time for adult children to be adults and let their fathers have a second chance of developing an adult relationship with a woman, not them.
 
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srb1968 is offline srb1968 Post #8  August 5,2009, 4:38am
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Being a single dad and primary carer of two lovely daughters, some of these comments really fill me wth sadness. Yes my children do require a lot of emotional energy and a lot of time but that doesn't mean that it is in anyway draining or taxing. If fact I would argue that I would have even more emotional energy to direct to someone else because of the love my daughter's share for each other.
 
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sephigirl is offline sephigirl Post #9  September 24,2009, 9:38am
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I, too, am a single woman with no children (I wanted them and I do love them) but after dating several single dads . . . I am very wary. I had the dad who dropped everything if his daughter decided she wanted them to do things together. Literally, he'd cancel out last minute if she decided she wanted to go the movies. I had the dad who did the whole "they're my universe and their mom's horrible" thing - yes they are important, but I don't want to be "you're somewhere in the top 5, after the kids, my mom, dad, grandma, etc." Or the dad who cried (yes, cried) on our first date because he missed his daughters so much (they lived in another state w/ their mom). When we're first dating, I don't want to meet them or talk to them -- this is a time to see if we mesh - I think it's harder on the kids to meet Dad's new friend who may not be his friend after a date or two. I had one guy who gushed about his children in every e-mail, phone call and finally on our date. I finally decided to play crazy cat lady and started gushing about my cats. We didn't go out again. LOL
My single friend has said her children come first, no matter what. I think if you're that kind of parent, great, but you can't have a relationship with any promise if you won't compromise.
I agree - single parents should probably date single parents - those of us w/o children have different priorities and outlooks. I can adapt, but the single parent has to understand there's a learning curve. Again, I hope to have children or step-children, but first I want a lover. Children grow up and (hopefully) move on. They need to grow, have friends, dates, etc. So do the single parents.
 
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ohwildflower is offline ohwildflower Post #10  September 24,2009, 1:32pm
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I am not sure it is about singles with or without children. I have children and I just broke it off with a man who made his children the top priority in his life. He would only spend time with me when he was not with them and rarely let me meet them after dating a year and a half. I broke up with him when he canceled a Valentine's Day concert with me so he and his kids could go on an adventure together. He did not invite me and my kids to go either. Long story short I spent nine months on and off with him, til I finally realized that I was getting nowhere and needed to move on. Single dad's are great, however make sure you know where you fall in the pecking order and if you are okay with the order. Singles with kids should be realistic about their ability to commit to someone or wait until they are ready.
 
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