Opinions on trustworthiness/safety please!


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LisaLexus is offline LisaLexus Post #1  July 5,2009, 8:28pm
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Hi. Please let me know what you think about this. I have a dear friend who I have been spending some time with, talking, hanging out. We celebrated his b'day last month and will celebrate mine this month. He calls, I call. It is nice and so far platonic, and it is all good in that regard.

I help him with stuff when I can and he recently offered to help me with a car repair, which seemed to go okay as far as I could tell. lol

He also offered to help install a door knob. This is where it gets sticky. My standards are apparently higher than his when it comes to finish work. I was really disappointed that the screws were not in straight. He also seemed to invent a reason to install one of the parts lower than it appeared to be necessary. Unfortunately, I let him look at a fluorescent light bulb that had burned out and he broke one of the arms that the light bulb is supposed to rest on. That was strike two.

The problem is that, with my car, I thought it had apparently been done correctly (I was a little concerned that some dirt may have been introduced into the part he was working on though, and I overlooked that at the time). He seemed to have all the right tools and knowledge for that and know what he was doing.. After he was done with the car, I thought I may have previously underestimated him as possibly being a bit of bull in a china shop or someone who may not have been as careful as I would have been in the area of perfection when performing skilled work. So, I let him work on the doorknob and then the lightbulb, both of which were disappointing as far as end result.

So, now the issue at hand: He has been bugging me to go out for a ride on his motorcycle and insists he is very safe, but now I don't trust his standards for safety as his standards for quality work were disappointing. It is all about determining areas where you mesh, right?

I hate to discover 10 miles from home that my doubts about his level of care with workmanship on areas that are important to me (my home and car) are equal to my doubts about his safety as a motorcycle driver (my life and safety).

Do you think there can be correlation, or should I just trust my instincts and explain why I have been hesitant about getting on the bike. I am not sure I trust him completely. If this were another situation--getting too involved in a relationship, for example--I would know just what to do. This one is a little trickier (I can't necessarily make the connection between poor quality workmanship and safe driving). I have no interest in getting on a bike with someone who is as careless with my safety as he seems to have been with the repairs he did on my home, the home repairs being relatively minor in comparison.

What do you think? Should I just agree to a short ride or explain why I question whether we are on the same page as far as his concern for my well being?

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #2  July 8,2009, 8:30am
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I am with you. I would not get on a motorcycle with someone unless I knew thier experience and trusted them.To easy for something ti go wrong. Just tell him bikes make you nervous and would rather go out in a car.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #3  July 8,2009, 8:41am

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if you want something done right, do it yourself.... or pay a professional to do it.

'friend' is someone who makes you feel happy.... not someone who is only around to do free work for you
Last edited by txbubba; July 9,2009 at 7:25am.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  July 8,2009, 8:47am
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Definitely trust your instincts!
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  July 8,2009, 9:05am
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Wear a helmet and have a good time. So the guy is a bit careless in his handy work, doesn't mean he doesn't know how to ride. It could be a lot of fun.
 
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peluka is offline peluka Post #6  July 8,2009, 9:11am
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For the love of God, this is a friend who's kind enough to offer to do all these favors to you. Why are you talking about "standards for quality work", "poor quality workmanship" and "perfection when performing skilled work"? If you want quality work and perfection, pay a professional to do it.

As for the bike ride. If you're not comfortable going, you don't have to. But do not mention to him that you're concerned about your safety because he probably drives as carelessly as, in your opinion, he does all these other things. That would be beyond offensive.

Appreciate the fact that you have a friend who's willing to give you his time and help.
 
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #7  July 8,2009, 9:48am
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I really don't see what installing a doorknob has to do with riding a motorcycle.

But, that said, if you feel uncomfortable getting on his bike, then don't. Or, at least, tell him that you're a pretty cautious rider -- and he can take that into account.
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #8  July 8,2009, 10:09am
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The ability to safely ride motorcycles has nothing to do with the inability to fix things unless the guy is a total buffoon (which you would know by now if that was the case).

Some people just don't have the aptitude or maybe the patience to be mechanically inclined. They try to do a good job and think they can do a good job but they can't. Oftentimes, the so-called pros don't do the job right either. That's why engineers fix their own stuff.

Anyway, go enjoy the ride. If he turns out to be the buffoon that we all dread, hold out for the guy who can ride AND fix stuff right.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  July 8,2009, 10:09am
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First I would not get on a motorcycle for anything. Motorcycle riders are not called organ donors for nothing.

I don't know about where you live but down here I can go to the Clerk of Court website and enter someones name and see what their criminal history is, this includes any traffic fines.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  July 8,2009, 10:19am
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#1) Hire a real handy man / mechanic, rather than rely on his "incompetent" work, no free lunch. #2) Your instincts are correct, NEVER get on a motorcycle you feel may not be properly maintained or driven , you can skip the thrill for a few minutes but if you end up in a hospital, it will be your fault for getting on it, not his fault for being a questionable driver/maintainer of his motorcycle. Don't argue with him about his competence etc. he obviously thinks he is. Think for yourself, and just say no!
LisaLexus wrote :
Hi. Please let me know what you think about this. I have a dear friend who I have been spending some time with, talking, hanging out. We celebrated his b'day last month and will celebrate mine this month. He calls, I call. It is nice and so far platonic, and it is all good in that regard.

I help him with stuff when I can and he recently offered to help me with a car repair, which seemed to go okay as far as I could tell. lol

He also offered to help install a door knob. This is where it gets sticky. My standards are apparently higher than his when it comes to finish work. I was really disappointed that the screws were not in straight. He also seemed to invent a reason to install one of the parts lower than it appeared to be necessary. Unfortunately, I let him look at a fluorescent light bulb that had burned out and he broke one of the arms that the light bulb is supposed to rest on. That was strike two.

The problem is that, with my car, I thought it had apparently been done correctly (I was a little concerned that some dirt may have been introduced into the part he was working on though, and I overlooked that at the time). He seemed to have all the right tools and knowledge for that and know what he was doing.. After he was done with the car, I thought I may have previously underestimated him as possibly being a bit of bull in a china shop or someone who may not have been as careful as I would have been in the area of perfection when performing skilled work. So, I let him work on the doorknob and then the lightbulb, both of which were disappointing as far as end result.

So, now the issue at hand: He has been bugging me to go out for a ride on his motorcycle and insists he is very safe, but now I don't trust his standards for safety as his standards for quality work were disappointing. It is all about determining areas where you mesh, right?

I hate to discover 10 miles from home that my doubts about his level of care with workmanship on areas that are important to me (my home and car) are equal to my doubts about his safety as a motorcycle driver (my life and safety).

Do you think there can be correlation, or should I just trust my instincts and explain why I have been hesitant about getting on the bike. I am not sure I trust him completely. If this were another situation--getting too involved in a relationship, for example--I would know just what to do. This one is a little trickier (I can't necessarily make the connection between poor quality workmanship and safe driving). I have no interest in getting on a bike with someone who is as careless with my safety as he seems to have been with the repairs he did on my home, the home repairs being relatively minor in comparison.

What do you think? Should I just agree to a short ride or explain why I question whether we are on the same page as far as his concern for my well being?

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
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