Have you ever been discriminated against on the basis of your appearance?


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Fred6524 is offline Fred6524 Post #91  July 16,2009, 10:06am
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Robecology wrote :
Has anyone heard of one of the last prejudicial behaviors still out there, Heightism? Taller people get the better job offers, have more ladies interested in them, and get more respect (in general). There's a lot of heightists out there. Even saying someone has a "Napoleonic complex" what does that mean; that they (short men) want power "despite the fact that they're short"? Wouldn't that be a little like saying a woman of power is "macho" ?
The last prejudice out there is personality or rather perception of personality.

One is just as genetically predisposed to personality as they are to height or any other such characteristics and no more able to change it than they can their height or any other such characteristics.

The problem is not the individual but rather others who form misperceptions of individuals based on their own prejudices and preconceived notions. And while they may sometimes not even realize they are doing it their reactions have real and tangible effects.
 
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WishingWell is offline WishingWell Post #92  July 16,2009, 10:21pm
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I've never been refused service or employment because of my appearance, but I have been on the receiving end of mixed snap judgments because of my personal style.

About a year and a half ago, I was introduced to a guy at a bar. The first words out of his mouth were, "You look like a b*tch." Given how often I'm asked if my boyfriend is wealthy, or how often I'm told that I look "high maintenance" and "expensive" I wasn't all that surprised. I like nice things. Nice jewelry, designer jeans, luxurious textiles. No one buys them for me, and it's weird to me that strangers just leap to the conclusion that I'm a kept woman, or I've got some sugar daddy footing the bill for my extravagant tastes. I just believe it's important to invest in myself in all possible senses. Also, my boyfriend is so far from wealthy that the question is almost laughable. Laughable because I couldn't care less how much money he has, unless he's hurting for it. Then, I care.

BUT then....once the jacket comes off, or if I wear a revealing top...my tattoos garner a whole different reaction. They're a bit unusual and not all that feminine. I'm not sure people are as surprised by the tattoos themselves as they are surprised their initial impression just doesn't jive with reality.

Funny. Reverse snobbery and body mod hang ups.
Last edited by WishingWell; July 16,2009 at 10:28pm.
 
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VisualFX is offline VisualFX Post #93  July 16,2009, 11:34pm
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Ever since eHarmony started letting people show their profile photos first, it has been a problem for me. It used to be that, when you got a match, you couldn't see each others photos, until after you did some communication swapping. But people must have complained, and now we have an option to display our photo right away. After EH changed their policies, I wasn't getting any responses. People closed me out the minute they saw my profile photo.

So I went the drastic route, and joined a gym, got a personal trainer, and got in shape. After posting new photos, I get more contacts now.
 
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GILKEY is offline GILKEY Post #94  July 17,2009, 1:37pm
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VisualFX wrote :
Ever since eHarmony started letting people show their profile photos first, it has been a problem for me. It used to be that, when you got a match, you couldn't see each others photos, until after you did some communication swapping. But people must have complained, and now we have an option to display our photo right away. After EH changed their policies, I wasn't getting any responses. People closed me out the minute they saw my profile photo.

So I went the drastic route, and joined a gym, got a personal trainer, and got in shape. After posting new photos, I get more contacts now.
When I was a member members could choose when and if they wanted their photos posted. My wife's photo wasn't viewable to me until after our match reached OPEN. Mine were their to view right away.
 
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cutegirl_31 is offline cutegirl_31 Post #95  July 20,2009, 9:46pm
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Yes! I have been turned away just for guess what reason? Being too fat! I'm a size 26. The guys act like I should be a size -12. They make me feel like I weigh 500 pounds when I only weigh 240. Does that make you people feel better; to intimidate big women? Huh? Tell me! I want to know, and I want to know now. It's people like you that make us develop eating disorders so we will be loved. WE ARE HUMANS TOO! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING JUDGED FOR THE SIZE OF MY STOMACH. Why do you do this? Why? We don't judge you for your size. I can't even find a mate on eharmony because the men look at my picture and not even try to communicate with me, and when they do, it's a closed message. Their reason is "other". Us big girls just want you men to love us. What did I ever do to make you men hate me? Please give me a chance guys, because I have much to offer. I am very kind, sensitive, will give you my world. My looks shouldn't matter, but why does it? You can call me Christal.
 
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CharlotteW is offline CharlotteW Post #96  July 22,2009, 12:38pm
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Wishing--I have a tattoo of an eland--it's a giant antelope. People are like "What the h*ll is that?!?!" But unless they see the tattoo, they assume I'm your classic "quiet librarian"!
 
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Andrewthecarrotman is offline Andrewthecarrotman Post #97  July 22,2009, 2:51pm
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I think that it is most sad when people do not even realize that they are discriminating against you for no good reason.

Colleges and employers are horrible for this. Especially jobs where you deal with the public, although I do give people a right to choose those that represent them. It often goes a little overboard.

I am a big guy, and I think that hurts me when I am looking at matches. There is no way to get it out of the profile photo. I weigh 286, can bench 350, and can bike 10 miles in an hour in Cincinnati (hills, lots of them). The gut does not want to go away.
 
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greatwhitenorth is offline greatwhitenorth Post #98  July 22,2009, 3:24pm
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I don't have time to read through all 10 pages of posts and I apologize for that.

I've never been discriminated against for what I wear, how I look, or what I drive.

I have been discriminated against because my background is German. I was born in Canada in 1961 - 16 years after the Second World War ended. I learned German at home - it was the only language I spoke until I started school. The teacher was so upset by this that she was going to hold me back a year "until I learned to speak English properly." There were Ukrainian, Chinese, and Italian children in the class as well and as far as I know, their parents were not told the same thing.

The way my parents found out about this was that the teacher sent home notes with us one day and my envelope had an extra message in it saying that the teacher was going to hold me back. My mother was so incensed by this that she came to school with me the next day and walked straight into the principal's office. She demanded that my teacher be present. I didn't understand everything that went on at the time, but I asked my mother about it later. She said tht the gist of her complaint was that her husband worked very hard and paid good money in taxes. Part of those taxes went to paying the salary of the teacher and the principal. They were trained to teach children and part of this training included teaching English as a Second Language if necessary. If she wanted to teach me German at home, that was her business. It was their business to teach and they had better get on with the job of teaching me English.

As far as I know the teacher never complained about my English again.

I've had other things happen to me since - swastikas drawn on my books at school, being called "N*z*" behind my back, asking if I was the one who told H*tl*r to pull the gas switches at the concentration camps, and things like that. I've learned to ignore the comments in general and not to take them personally because they're based in hatred and fear. The prejudice still exists though.
 
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greatwhitenorth is offline greatwhitenorth Post #99  July 22,2009, 3:36pm
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I tried posting this once and was booted out of the thread so I'll try again. Apologies if this appears twice.

I haven't read through all ten pages and I apologize for that as well.

I haven’t been discriminated against for my looks or anything like that.
I have been discriminated against because my background was German.
When I started Grade One, the only language I could speak was German. One day the teacher sent envelopes home with everyone in the class. My envelope apparently had an extra slip in it that told my parents that the teacher was going to hold me back a year "until I learned to speak English properly". There were Ukrainian, Chinese, and Italian children in the class and as far as I know they never received this kind of letter.

My mother was so incensed by this letter that she came to school with me the next morning and stomped into the principal’s office. She insisted that the teacher be present as well. I didn’t understand everything that happened, so I asked her about it later on when I was older. She told me that the gist of her message was that it was her business and nobody else’s what she taught me at home. Her husband had a good job and he paid a lot of money in taxes. Part of those taxes paid the salary of the teacher and the principal. It was their job to teach children. If she wanted to teach me German at home, that was her business and they could d*mn well get on with their business of teaching and teach me English.

As far as I know my parents never got another letter like that again and I passed from one grade to the next after that without any problems.

I’ve also had sw*st*kas drawn on my books, I’ve been called a N*zi behind my back, and I’ve been asked if I was the one who told H*tl*r to pull the gas switches at the concentration camps. I’ve learned not to take these comments personally because they have more to do with the person making them than they do with me. The basic prejudice is still there though.

PS I was born in 1961 - 16 years after the war ended
Last edited by greatwhitenorth; July 22,2009 at 3:41pm. Reason: forgot something
 
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checotahgal is offline checotahgal Post #100  July 23,2009, 9:23am
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Sure. Happens more than you'd realize.
I'm overweight, which is quite a sin in this country, and evidently my money isn't green enough or something. I've been ignored by clerks, been spoken rudely to and also been totally embarassed by them.
 
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