Rob_UK is offline Rob_UK Post #1  July 4,2009, 4:33am
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I have only been on EH for a week or so but have been lucky to get quite a few matches - as such I have had to introduce some pretty strict personal filters when I am reading someone's response.

1. If no pic, then no com: why - because honesty is key and I think that showing your image is part of that.
2. Things I can't live without - anything that smacks of materialism/superficialisim : car, phone, flat, ipod; lipstick, shopping etc...
I know that the car might be to aid communication or meeting people, the phone for similar or to stay in touch with a sick relative (if they qualify the must have then that is different) but being attached to things is a real turn off for me.
3. If I do send a communication and then get no answer within three days I will close the match unless she lets me know she will be away - I especially close if my profile has been viewed but no answer to the com.

Does anyone else apply these sort of criteria and if so what do you use ????
Last edited by Rob_UK; July 4,2009 at 4:36am.
 
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pamcam is offline pamcam Post #2  July 4,2009, 4:55am
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Instead of focusing on the negative, I focus on what he presents as his values and what he values; life, family, friends, job, hobbies, education, community, exercise, his priorities, and what he commits his time to, as well as his life experience, and how he communicates himself. I also look for balance and depth.

One of my matches 5 things he can't live w/o were: family, friends, health, romance, and love.

His entire profile resonated w/ me and in my opinion was a work of art in its profound simplicity. I initiated communication, where unfortunately we stayed in EH email for 5 months where he was most responsive. Out of 750 matches over 6 months, I chose to committ my time and energy in getting to know him, as to me it was most respectful of each of us. While it was frustrating, disappointing, and time consuming, I do not regret it, as it's how I chose to value and respect a potential partner.

Despite my giving him my full name, personal email, and phone number--he never did call. I was ready to meet him w/in 2 weeks of OC and was most willing to travel to meet him or meet on neutral ground. There were several red flags throughout, which I did not ignore; I was patient in giving time time for him to reveal himself.

The most important quality I have listed is [emotional] availability and presence. Perhaps I should revise this to include physical availability as well--lol.
Last edited by pamcam; July 4,2009 at 5:13am.
 
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Rob_UK is offline Rob_UK Post #3  July 4,2009, 5:12am
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I guess no system is fool proof but it is good to hear what other people use
 
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pamcam is offline pamcam Post #4  July 4,2009, 5:19am
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Indeed; I very much enjoy hearing others' perspectives and experiences. I want to be that wise person who has the ability to learn from others' lessons w/o trudging down that hard road myself. A stubborn and slow life learner I am.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #5  July 4,2009, 5:26am
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Rob

I don't think you'll have any trouble at all. From what I've seen of your posts, you humor is coming through LOUD & CLEAR. Even if you are in another country!

Humor is big in my book. I would have to plead guilty on that question about I Crack Myself Up...
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #6  July 4,2009, 10:28am
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Rob_UK wrote :
2. Things I can't live without - anything that smacks of materialism/superficialisim : car, phone, flat, ipod; lipstick, shopping etc...
I know that the car might be to aid communication or meeting people, the phone for similar or to stay in touch with a sick relative (if they qualify the must have then that is different) but being attached to things is a real turn off for me.
Well, that explains it. Those of us who cannot live without books are doomed.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #7  July 4,2009, 11:02am
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My system is not very strict, in fact, I probably have more flexibility in objective criteria than most. And yet, that darn system of mine has pretty much eliminated most of the human population of this planet, with only a few exceptions.

And I can't believe I'm actually guilty of the crime of not wanting to live without my lipsticks (or 20, some of which are even red ), and even shopping at times
 
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Rob_UK is offline Rob_UK Post #8  July 5,2009, 5:28am
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
My system is not very strict, in fact, I probably have more flexibility in objective criteria than most. And yet, that darn system of mine has pretty much eliminated most of the human population of this planet, with only a few exceptions.

And I can't believe I'm actually guilty of the crime of not wanting to live without my lipsticks (or 20, some of which are even red ), and even shopping at times
Guilty
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  July 5,2009, 10:16am

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I always thought the "live without" things were supposed to be humorous and light-hearted.

personally, I'd close anyone* with a list of abstracts and long, flowery explanations of why he can't live with out passion, love, blah blah blah. why take yourself so seriously?

*if i had matches, that is.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #10  July 5,2009, 12:07pm

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Hi all--I'm pretty liberal in going for matches--and as such I have a lot of first (coffee) dates.
There are many men out in this big city and if I hope to find the right one, I'm not going to limit myself to dedication to just one perfect creature (on paper at least).

We all have warts somewhere-if not literal that figurative. I have a few deal breakers but for the most part have decided that I need to be pro-active in looking for a new love.

If I'm basically matched with someone, and he has a pic up and has pretty much filled out his initial information, then I send them the first contact.

Because we don't know if our matches are even members, I don't bother with nudges any more if I don't hear back-just close 'em and move on. Frustrating but learning how to play EH's game is necessary.

After a coffee date, if we have enough to talk about, I again tell the guy I'd like to see him again and suggest a dutch treat lunch.

So many women wait to be contacted, wait for the guy to ask-why? Get out there and promote yourself!

But thats me......
Rox
 
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