sweettealover463 is offline sweettealover463 Post #11  July 6,2009, 9:16am
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scarlet13 wrote :
I always thought the "live without" things were supposed to be humorous and light-hearted.

personally, I'd close anyone* with a list of abstracts and long, flowery explanations of why he can't live with out passion, love, blah blah blah. why take yourself so seriously?

*if i had matches, that is.
I agree! I put the things I couldn't live without as things I truly have in my life everyday - my car - which I use in my job, my dog - which means the world to me since I have become single, my mascara - which was a funny like if you were stranded on an island and could only take one makeup with you (guys may not get this but I thought it was funny!), my Bible - self-explanatory, and my dishwasher - cause I would rather be out doing something that in doing housework! Maybe it's that Men are from Mars thing - they just don't think like we do...I don't know but I was being light hearted on those.

Life is too short to take yourself too seriously all the time! )
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #12  July 6,2009, 9:25am
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I think the biggest mistake that most people who are new to online dating make is being too restrictive. The more you date, the more you'll learn that your restrictions really do nothing but eliminate some of your best matches.

From personal experience, I would say give people the benefit of the doubt and go meet them in real life. You really don't know what you are going to get until you do that. I've found that people with the most spectacular profiles are often terrible in person, people who barely write down a few generalities are hilarious in person and even if the chemistry is not there, I've made new friends, etc. The more you broaden you horizons, the more likely you are to find the one you are looking for.
 
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #13  July 6,2009, 9:32am
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I do close those without pictures or if they haven't taken the time to fill out the profile -- usually smacks of someone who isn't paying or isn't serious about using eHarmony.

Other than that, I don't have any pre-set filters. If there aren't any major red flags or they look somewhat interesting, I'll usually contact them.

At least from my own experience, I'm not too quick to hit the close button. Sure, if they are someone that I have absolutely no interest in I will.... but sometimes timing is everything. I know I've taken breaks from eHa for a bit -- and then later re-connected with matches.
 
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heatherlz is offline heatherlz Post #14  July 15,2009, 8:33am
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I understand applying filters, for me, I was looking for someone without pets. That was an automatic elimination. Other then that I tried to stay openminded. One warning about time limits though. I dragged my communication with my now husband out for 4 months. I even disappeared for over a month and then re-established our connection. I hate to think that I would never have found this love if he had been judgemental and closed the match. Life had to make me ready to be with him forever. If you're looking for forever, maybe you need to be a little more patient.
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #15  July 16,2009, 12:12am
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As scarlet13 said, if I ever have matches again, here's why I'd close.

No pictures and those where the profiles are incomplete or scream "I just wanted the free personality profile!" because of an obvious lack of effort (one match under "things I can't live without" wrote 1) eating, 2) eating, and 3) my dog. *sighs*

I now close matches who don't respond to me within a week as well. I figure if they're interested they can ask to re-open the match.

Although I'm religious myself, I close profiles with lots of religious references, scripture quotes, or attempts to preach, since I don't find zealots attractive.

Since my distance range is set "anywhere in the world", I'm sure that one of these days those matches will come flooding in. Right, EH?
 
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Bouffy is offline Bouffy Post #16  July 16,2009, 2:48pm
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I'll give anyone a chance. I like to write so its easy to keep up messages with multiple matches.

I might be disinclined to message people who are greatly different in age, but that's controllable in our settings anyways.

I love writing and reading so this sort of dating appeals to me. Its quick and can be quite deep if you allow it to be.
 
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