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View Poll Results: What are your dealbreakers?
Smoking/Smoking Too Much 67 74.44%
Drinking/Drinking Too Much 57 63.33%
Too Young/Too Old 48 53.33%
Doesn't Fit With Me on Religious & Spiritual Matters 40 44.44%
Doesn't Fit With Me on Political Matters 16 17.78%
Financial Income Does Not Meet My Requirements 16 17.78%
Marital Status Does Not Meet My Requirements 45 50.00%
Already Has Children/Does or Does Not Want Children 33 36.67%
Is Not Physically Attractive To Me 70 77.78%
Other Reason(s) 34 37.78%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 90. You may not vote on this poll

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empress_c empress_c is offline
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empress_c POOF!!!! I have moved on!

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I'm baaack! Watched America's Most Wanted after feeding Kitty, and Kitty fell asleep. I decided to read a bit, then turn in myself, end of Saturday nite!

Kitty is not allowed any alcohol, ever--instant poison. (Seriously, anyone who gives alcohol to animals is abusive; it's very bad for them.) Kitty drinks water only.
- July 26th, 2009, 06:05 pm
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ebenezer ebenezer is offline
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The following are what I'd consider dealbreakers for me:
  2. Smoking -- I cannot stand the smell of tobacco smoke. If she is a smoker then it is a definite no unfortunately, non-negotiable!! I would hate to see her try to quit for the sake of the relationship.
  3. Drinks Too Much -- I would prefer that she doesn't drink at all, but if she must, let it be mild-- a beer or two, or a glass of wine. An alcoholic is a definite no. I don't drink at all myself.
  4. Too Young or Too Old -- I wouldn't consider a woman under 40 or over 80. Under 40 would be immature I think, and over 80 would be too weak physically for the sexual rigors I envisage in the relationship.
  5. Doesn't Fit With Me on Religious & Spiritual Matters--It is of utmost importance to me that she be a Christian and want to go to church as often as opportunity allows. The kind of person that I am would not give her a happy time with me if she is the type that doesn't find homeness in church. Besides, I hold to the old fashion fundamentals of the Christian faith: Jesus was born of a virgin; the Bible is the Word of God and is the final authority in all matters of belief and conduct, and is to be interpreted literally; Jesus was God in human flesh; He literally died, literally rose from the dead, and literally ascended into heaven; He will return to judge all human beings living and dead, etc.... For that, I call myself a fundamentalist and I am proud of it. (However, I don't subscribe to any kind of hateful violence against those who hold opposing views or people of other religions. How can a seeker after Jesus be hateful! It's a contradiction in terms). It would be a dealbreaker if my prospective partner were diametrically opposed to this view. But there's a negotiable middle ground on this.
  6. Doesn't Fit With Me on Political Issues -- It is important for me that we agree about my desire to subscribe to the creation of a compassionate and just society in the world, beginning in the community of believers, and to live our lives the two of us to promote the common good. I care less whether the person thinks herself liberal, conservative, very conservative, or moderate. A lot of negotiables here.
  7. Financial Income -- I don't mind how much she earns as long as she is financially sensible.
  8. Marital Status -- If 40 and over (and she has to be anyway), she should have been married or been in some kind of relationship before. A person that age and has never tasted the rigors of love will not understand what love entails. She might be still building castles in the air about falling in love. Yet love is hard work, much as it is pleasant.
  9. Children -- It is a plus for her if she has children, and the younger they are the better for me. Oh how I would enjoy teaming up with her to nurture and groom them for God's kingdom through example and love. Actually if she has no children at all, it might be a turn off unless she is very strong in other areas.
  10. Physical Attraction -- I would like a person I am attracted to and one attracted to me. But she need not be a candidate for Miss Universe.
  11. Other -- Is there a woman out there who believes in waiting until marriage, not even to kiss until we say to each other, "I do?" Please tell me where she is and I will pursue her with all the gusto in me! I prefer that when the officiant at our wedding announces: "Now the groom may kiss the bride" that I will then for the first time taste my lover's lips. I think that is the unmentioned expectation behind the statement. To be sure, I am fond of kissing, but my romantic kisses are reserved only for my wife. If I kiss whoever I date, how many women shall I kiss before I finally marry? That's me though. I respect opinions that differ. It'd also be nice if she is into dressing up sometimes and looking real nice for parties or when going out on a date with me (after marriage).
  12. Nice To Have: Not too short (under 4') not too tall (over 6.5"); likes music/singing/playing an instrument especially the old time hymns but at the same time not against the contemporary worship songs; is willing to team with me to make our home a discipleship center for the two of us and any others (children?) that might live in it or be closely associated with it; is a team player; likes to play or is playful (The old saying: "A family that plays together, prays together, and sings together, stays together" has a lot of truth in it); can dance with me impromptu in the house.
  13. Conclusion: That covers the really important stuff for me. All others would be a matter of discussion between me and my prospective. But of course I recognize that in every relationship there's the principle of give and take. I am willing to determine about a person after actually interacting with her and we have each seen each other's good points. I have faults myself some of which I may not even be aware of. I am not looking for an angel. If I found one, I would run away from her as fast as my legs can carry me. I am sinner forgiven by the Lord Jesus Christ. I am willing--actually eager--to extend the same forgiveness to my spouse and to maintain the same spirit all through our relationship.
Last edited by ebenezer; August 1st, 2009 at 10:15 am. Reason: Numbers placed wrongly.
- August 1st, 2009, 09:45 am
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LanaT LanaT is offline
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heh--All of the above PLUS facial hair--a HUGE turn off for me,
Lack of exercise--either fat or droopy, haven't read a book in years is a good one, not current with world news/politics, if his only interest is hanging out at the beach (which I detest),
having no hobbies, an interest in cars as a "hobby" is a turn off. Also, being Republican or Libertarian is a huge turn off and deal breaker. Anyone working in the financial industries--insurance, banking or stockbroker--all are disqualified. I think I have been on EH too long.....
- August 2nd, 2009, 03:32 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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Seems that at some level everything listed becomes a deal breaker.
- August 2nd, 2009, 07:41 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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LanaT wrote :
heh--All of the above PLUS facial hair--a HUGE turn off for me,
Lack of exercise--either fat or droopy, haven't read a book in years is a good one, not current with world news/politics, if his only interest is hanging out at the beach (which I detest),
having no hobbies, an interest in cars as a "hobby" is a turn off. Also, being Republican or Libertarian is a huge turn off and deal breaker. Anyone working in the financial industries--insurance, banking or stockbroker--all are disqualified. I think I have been on EH too long.....
It would seem that you might have been on too long. It seems that you pretty much have ruled out every guy.
- August 2nd, 2009, 08:13 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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ebenezer wrote :
The following are what I'd consider dealbreakers for me:
  2. Smoking -- I cannot stand the smell of tobacco smoke. If she is a smoker then it is a definite no unfortunately, non-negotiable!! I would hate to see her try to quit for the sake of the relationship.
  3. Drinks Too Much -- I would prefer that she doesn't drink at all, but if she must, let it be mild-- a beer or two, or a glass of wine. An alcoholic is a definite no. I don't drink at all myself.
  4. Too Young or Too Old -- I wouldn't consider a woman under 40 or over 80. Under 40 would be immature I think, and over 80 would be too weak physically for the sexual rigors I envisage in the relationship.
  5. Doesn't Fit With Me on Religious & Spiritual Matters--It is of utmost importance to me that she be a Christian and want to go to church as often as opportunity allows. The kind of person that I am would not give her a happy time with me if she is the type that doesn't find homeness in church. Besides, I hold to the old fashion fundamentals of the Christian faith: Jesus was born of a virgin; the Bible is the Word of God and is the final authority in all matters of belief and conduct, and is to be interpreted literally; Jesus was God in human flesh; He literally died, literally rose from the dead, and literally ascended into heaven; He will return to judge all human beings living and dead, etc.... For that, I call myself a fundamentalist and I am proud of it. (However, I don't subscribe to any kind of hateful violence against those who hold opposing views or people of other religions. How can a seeker after Jesus be hateful! It's a contradiction in terms). It would be a dealbreaker if my prospective partner were diametrically opposed to this view. But there's a negotiable middle ground on this.
  6. Doesn't Fit With Me on Political Issues -- It is important for me that we agree about my desire to subscribe to the creation of a compassionate and just society in the world, beginning in the community of believers, and to live our lives the two of us to promote the common good. I care less whether the person thinks herself liberal, conservative, very conservative, or moderate. A lot of negotiables here.
  7. Financial Income -- I don't mind how much she earns as long as she is financially sensible.
  8. Marital Status -- If 40 and over (and she has to be anyway), she should have been married or been in some kind of relationship before. A person that age and has never tasted the rigors of love will not understand what love entails. She might be still building castles in the air about falling in love. Yet love is hard work, much as it is pleasant.
  9. Children -- It is a plus for her if she has children, and the younger they are the better for me. Oh how I would enjoy teaming up with her to nurture and groom them for God's kingdom through example and love. Actually if she has no children at all, it might be a turn off unless she is very strong in other areas.
  10. Physical Attraction -- I would like a person I am attracted to and one attracted to me. But she need not be a candidate for Miss Universe.
  11. Other -- Is there a woman out there who believes in waiting until marriage, not even to kiss until we say to each other, "I do?" Please tell me where she is and I will pursue her with all the gusto in me! I prefer that when the officiant at our wedding announces: "Now the groom may kiss the bride" that I will then for the first time taste my lover's lips. I think that is the unmentioned expectation behind the statement. To be sure, I am fond of kissing, but my romantic kisses are reserved only for my wife. If I kiss whoever I date, how many women shall I kiss before I finally marry? That's me though. I respect opinions that differ. It'd also be nice if she is into dressing up sometimes and looking real nice for parties or when going out on a date with me (after marriage).
  12. Nice To Have: Not too short (under 4') not too tall (over 6.5"); likes music/singing/playing an instrument especially the old time hymns but at the same time not against the contemporary worship songs; is willing to team with me to make our home a discipleship center for the two of us and any others (children?) that might live in it or be closely associated with it; is a team player; likes to play or is playful (The old saying: "A family that plays together, prays together, and sings together, stays together" has a lot of truth in it); can dance with me impromptu in the house.
  13. Conclusion: That covers the really important stuff for me. All others would be a matter of discussion between me and my prospective. But of course I recognize that in every relationship there's the principle of give and take. I am willing to determine about a person after actually interacting with her and we have each seen each other's good points. I have faults myself some of which I may not even be aware of. I am not looking for an angel. If I found one, I would run away from her as fast as my legs can carry me. I am sinner forgiven by the Lord Jesus Christ. I am willing--actually eager--to extend the same forgiveness to my spouse and to maintain the same spirit all through our relationship.

Did someone spike your drink with alcohol and accidentally encase you in tobacco smoke?
Last edited by IcecreamMoon; August 3rd, 2009 at 01:52 am. Reason: Still trying to figure out #1
- August 3rd, 2009, 01:51 am
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ebenezer ebenezer is offline
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Did someone spike your drink with alcohol and accidentally encase you in tobacco smoke?
Sorry the numbers in my previous post got mixed up. They should have been from 1 to 12. Instead they went 2 to 13. And thank you for your comment. Actually the answer to your question is nooooooooooo, but I am an apprentice of Jesus if that tells you anything!
- August 3rd, 2009, 09:46 am
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PrettyPeepers PrettyPeepers is offline
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I have tried to delete this post.
Last edited by PrettyPeepers; August 7th, 2009 at 12:29 am.
- August 7th, 2009, 12:25 am
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Cimaronna Cimaronna is offline
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Hmmm...I had to think about some of these but here goes:
2. Drinks Too Much - Give me a smoker any day over a drunk! I don't mind if a guy wants the occasional drink or even one or two after work (or whatever). Drinking for the sake of being drunk is a huge turn off, though.

3. Too Young or Too Old - Like many of you, it isn't the number that matters but the level of maturity. I can't see myself going out with someone 10-15 years my junior/senior. It isn't out of the question if we're compatible, though.

4. Doesn't Fit With Me on Religious & Spiritual Matters - I'd prefer someone with similar beliefs. Respect on both sides for different views is a must. Anything extreme is out automatically.

5. Doesn't Fit With Me on Political Issues - Though I do care about the state of our nation and who the people are who run it, I loathe political debates in casual conversation. It's just not something I enjoy. You have your views and I have mine. If they are a match, close or otherwise, great! Let's talk about something else, please?

6. Financial Income - I couldn't care less about income, actually. Filthy rich or dirt poor, I don't care. I'm more interested in who you are rather than "will you buy me things." Financially responsible is an absolute must.

7. Marital Status - I absolutely will not date a man who is still married. Divorced and/or single is fine with me.

8. Children - Already having children is no problem whatsoever. Bring 'em on! Wanting any with me? Impossible. Sorry about that but they "jerked the works" back in '98 due to an extremely painful but benign fibroid tumor.

9. Physical Attraction - Stunning, reasonably good-looking, average --it doesn't matter. I've dated/wanted to date guys who had killer personalities. If going by looks alone, many women would have been smacking their foreheads and asking "Why?" about a few of these guys. Repulsive is out. There has to be a little bit of something there, darnit!

10. Other - I'm with so many of you when it comes to recreational drug use, abuse (against anyone, animals included), bigotry, and hair-trigger tempers. About tempers: For God's sake! Cheaters: If you can't be faithful once a relationship is established, I didn't need you anyway.Treating me as though I'm something less for being born female won't get you anywhere, either.
Last edited by Cimaronna; August 7th, 2009 at 02:28 pm. Reason: Left a couple out...oops!
- August 7th, 2009, 08:05 am
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Seneca Seneca is offline
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1. Married (includes separated)

2. Gender chip on her shoulder

3. Drinking more than rarely, drugs at all

4. dishonest

5. foul-mouthed, loud, discourteous

6. conceited

7. game player

8. sour-puss

9. gossip

10. golddigger

11. too young/old
- August 27th, 2009, 08:28 pm
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