Women who say they're looking for a "REAL MAN"


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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #61  July 4,2009, 5:42am
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meanminicooper wrote :
Well, I always took this as a real man being different than a plastic man that women sometimes keep under their mattresses. So I've been told.....
Uh....do you have satellite? Are you peeking into my boudoir?

SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Got a Peeper here!
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #62  July 4,2009, 6:30am
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is keeping warm with her Honey.

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simpletonHeart70 wrote :
I guess the thing that upsets me the most about society's expectations for men with these hideous gender roles is how badly it affects men.

This idea that men have to be strong hurts men and boys.

For some reason society thinks is if you have a member that you can function without assistance. And you look at young boys paying the price with high rates of suicide compared to girls.

Sure, when people complain that girls are harassed and are struggling in school, we jump to their needs. Meanwhile, fewer boys are going to college and many struggle far worse than girls.

And then you have grown men who were raised not to accept help. As one poster prior to this one "women don't like whimps" and "I like manly men". So what man doesn't want to be liked or loved? Unfortunately men end up killing themselves before asking for help.

It's even worse for men in the armed forces. How many of them return to the states to commit suicide because soldiers don't ask for help?

So if I seem a bit angry about all of this "be a man" stuff. That's the reason behind it.

Why should any man sacrifice just to make a woman happy? .

I have 2 sons, so I definitely worry about gender roles. Yes, I prefer a more traditional male. But I don't believe that means he has to be stoic and alone. I taught my boys that their feelings are just as important as any woman's. But I also taught them to be protective of the people they love. Frankly, I would have taught a daughter the same thing.

I don't see my idea of a Manly Man as being an emotionless robot who works without complaint until the day he dies. I see my role as a Good Woman to be his helper and confidante, always standing by his side and never betraying his trust. You know, the soft place to fall. As one Sci Fi fan I work with put it, "So you mean she would carry my shield into battle for me?!" Um, yeah, I guess. But you get the point. It's all about being a team and supporting each other.

I think I have this issue in the first place is because I've had to be the sole "warrior" in a marriage. It was with a man who liked to pretend he was a traditonal male, but just did whatever his mommy told him to do. No, seriously. All of our friends thought he was a man in charge of his life, and I would never do anything to let them see it just wasn't true. I refuse to humiliate my man.

In reality, he was terrified of doing anything or making decisions (lazy too) so I had to do EVERYTHING. I would work all day (he worked 4 days a week while I worked 5), then I'd come home and make dinner, clean up dinner, do a load of laundry, discipline the kids, handle the finances... everything, all while his butt was firmly planted on the couch. Eventually, after only a year of marriage, he had an ongoing affair, probably in an attempt to feel like he was a Manly Man again. Sorry, that's not my definition.

Okay, I'm probably rambling now. But I'm trying to say that I personally don't see a Real Man as someone that works alone with no emotional support or actual help. I'm more than willing to stand next to him in Life's Battle. I want to be the one in whom he can confide his fears without ridicule, because I think men need that. But I want him to be there for me in the ways that I need as well, and be Man enough to stand up for me and our relationship.

(steps off of soapbox)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #63  July 4,2009, 6:58am
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
They must be looking for all those men who want to treat their woman "LIKE A PRINCESS".

Step one is to kiss the Frog!
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #64  July 4,2009, 7:16am
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D_Lion wrote :
Step one is to kiss the Frog!
Step One is to kiss the RIGHT Frog!
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #65  July 4,2009, 7:21am
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meanminicooper wrote :
Well, I always took this as a real man being different than a plastic man that women sometimes keep under their mattresses. So I've been told.....
Or one that doesn't require batteries....
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #66  July 4,2009, 11:09am
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waltercl wrote :
Very good point. This is similar to what was being discussed in another thread about how people talk about what they're not looking for such as "I'm tired of players." When I see something like that in a profile I move on quickly.

As far as spelling something out I'd like to see something like the below appear in a woman's profile:

I'm looking for a man who accepts responsibility and is a leader. I want someone who leads by including me and taking my input seriously but not someone who feels they have to figure out what I want and then do that to keep my approval. I want a man who listens attentively but not someone I can manipulate. I want someone who isn't afraid to disagree or to tell me no. If I give some type of implied or direct threat that he either goes along with me or there will be less sex then I want him to be strong enough to stick with his principals anyway. I want a man who hasn't bowed down to all the pressure from the media, feminists, and every other force that seeks to rob them of what really makes them men and instead wants to turn them into sniveling whimps who say what they think women want to hear while all the time only really caring about themselves and what they hope to get out of it.

When I see that then I know they are looking for a real man.
I can see where a statement like "I'm tired of players" would indicate that the woman is dealing with some unpleasant baggage that has resulted in a negative attitude toward men... but I'd have to admit that when I read your idea of the ideal profile entry I am able to get a pretty good glimpse of some of your own baggage as well.
Last edited by last12C; July 4,2009 at 11:12am.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #67  July 4,2009, 12:07pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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D_Lion wrote :
Step one is to kiss the Frog!
Again?
How many more times do I need to do that before the Frog finally turns into a plastic man under my mattress?
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #68  July 4,2009, 12:12pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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yoga_gal wrote :
Step One is to kiss the RIGHT Frog!
I should have read ahead...
Now I get it! It's just a matter of the right positioning, and I must have been kissing the one on the left instead
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #69  July 5,2009, 2:11am
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a real man doesn't drift through life.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #70  July 5,2009, 10:18am
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Does he even float?
 
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