Women who say they're looking for a "REAL MAN"

From the comments here it sounds like "Real Man" is a relative term and putting it in a profile without explaination really gives no hint to what the person is looking for. Like someone else said, the poster using this term is lazy and defaulting to an ambiguous term they feel everyone understands as they see it. Using the term in an attempt to foster communication is probably a bad idea because your goal is to get to the communication stage first, then be as vague and ambiguous as you want once you're talking when you can explain readily.

When I read it in profiles it brings to mind a masculine guy, strong willed, who knows what he wants and takes it, a take charge type, just short of being labeled as abusive in the relationship. I close those profiles quickly.

1.) A true family person.

2.)Stands by their woman.

3.)Doesnt depend fully on her...

5.)Enjoys doing things together.

6.)Passionate.

7.)Isnt scared to show you how he feels;anytime,anywhere...he gives all of himself to his woman.

It seems to me that when one uses the term "real" before a term it gives a derogatory tone and is too open to interpretation. Probably better to just spell it out and avoid alienating someone uneccessarily.

Very good point. This is similar to what was being discussed in another thread about how people talk about what they're not looking for such as "I'm tired of players." When I see something like that in a profile I move on quickly.

As far as spelling something out I'd like to see something like the below appear in a woman's profile:

I'm looking for a man who accepts responsibility and is a leader. I want someone who leads by including me and taking my input seriously but not someone who feels they have to figure out what I want and then do that to keep my approval. I want a man who listens attentively but not someone I can manipulate. I want someone who isn't afraid to disagree or to tell me no. If I give some type of implied or direct threat that he either goes along with me or there will be less sex then I want him to be strong enough to stick with his principals anyway. I want a man who hasn't bowed down to all the pressure from the media, feminists, and every other force that seeks to rob them of what really makes them men and instead wants to turn them into sniveling whimps who say what they think women want to hear while all the time only really caring about themselves and what they hope to get out of it.

When I see that then I know they are looking for a real man.

You know, I read the first line and thought 'here we go again, I'm going to have to explain that I don't want someone to rescue me, I just want someone to love me."

But, after reading the rest of the post, I really do agree with it. Maybe I truly am an old-fashioned sexist pig, but I do appreciate a man that is stronger and more emotionally stable and able to take care of himself financially. And I'm sure he appreciates that I am concerned about his well-being even when he says he'll be okay (because we know you don't always mean it when you say that).

To me, a Real Man is one who is a good person and is reasonably comfortable with who he is. Someone who is willing to do the tough things because they are the right things. Someone who takes care of the people he loves (as I would do for him). My dad was a Real Man, and he's a tough act to follow, but I know they are out there because I've read their posts on these boards.

Now, I have to admit to being attracted to Manly Men. To me, that's a different thing. A Manly Man is probably a little old-fashioned in his view of male/female roles and works in a typical male occupation (firefighter, construction). I think every woman needs a Real Man, but my personal preference is for a Real Man that is also a Manly Man.

Why are you bringing ten pounds of women-hating for a one-pound job – and from “yard work” – seriously?!

Problems stemming from your family, or even structural changes in society and political economy are not the fault of women collectively.

Whatever it is you’re looking for in a partner, there are sure to be women out there who will provide it. It can be hard, especially if your standards are hard to meet, but you need to have a better attitude toward women generally to have success with getting good ones.