What You Can Learn From Your Ex

What You Can Learn From Your Ex

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What You Can Learn From Your Ex


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solonely is offline solonely Post #51  January 26,2008, 5:07pm
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haruo,44728 wrote :
What I learned from an x: Have more things in common and have seperate activities from each other and spend less time with each other. Spend 2-3 days of the week of quality time with each other. I have also learned that I need my own space as well. Living together is not the answer to a succesful relationship. from Haruo
you are so right about that thers is nothing better then space and you get a piece of mind for yourself and to learn more about your relationship with the person who you re commitied to but that isthe best way to go now a days
 
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LomaLinda is offline LomaLinda Post #52  January 27,2008, 1:41pm
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Excellent article. Long before reading this, I have been and still am doing some soul searching in part because of things that I was my ex told me. The number one complaint he made was that I was selfish. It hurt me often to hear him and say this, beacuse he was saying that and a whole lot more. He was very controlling and verbally/emotionally abusive to me, and so I could not know at times when his criticism was constructive or abusive. After I left, I chose to examine for myself the selfish accusation made, and found it to be true. i asked friends that did not know me for long,and some who did, if they viewed me as a selfish person. A few thought they saw a bit of selfishness in me and others did not.Since more said they did not, I chose to soul search about it, because my ex lived with me at the time, and for some reason I felt that he may have been right. I prayed to God to make me humble and to show me all my bad character traits and He did--in detail, using other people I cared about. Consequently, I found my ex was right to some degree, and I have asked God to help me to change. I wrote my ex a long letter acknowledging that I was indeed a selfish person and that God showed ways I me in what ways I was, and I apologized to him for how that state of being helped to make me a difficult person to live and be in a relationship with when we were together. He eventually told me that he had forgiven me for it long ago. That relationship also taught me that forgiveness was at times hard for me to grant--hence why in my immature state at the time, I chose to leave him. I think most people would agree to leave to if they were connstantly being manipulated and abused verbally/emotionally/psy
 
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FerociousFeline is offline FerociousFeline Post #53  January 27,2008, 9:29pm
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What have I learned? I have learned that 70% of humanity isn't worth wasting your time over. Of the remaining 30%, 15% are married, (and of that subset 10% are cheating) and of the remaining 15%, 5% are so jaded that even though they'd be okay, they're far too bitter to deal with, and the rest are lost, damaged and hopeless.People suck. If you think that's subjective, you haven't gotten out much.
 
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gkaceres is offline gkaceres Post #54  January 28,2008, 6:41am
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haruo,44728 wrote :
What I learned from an x: Have more things in common and have seperate activities from each other and spend less time with each other. Spend 2-3 days of the week of quality time with each other. I have also learned that I need my own space as well. Living together is not the answer to a succesful relationship. from Haruo
obviously, you dated a control freak who is yet to mature.But I think that you are getting the wrong perception, I feel that when things are right, one would want to spend time with the other person, enjoy it, want to share things with her/him that you would want to share, AND understand that each of you have a seperate life that needs to be fulfilled, then support it and don't give any hassels about it. There is such a thing. But it goes both ways. It always goes both ways.
 
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suzy304711 is offline suzy304711 Post #55  January 28,2008, 8:00am
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Well....what about my current situation. I was married to my husband for 15 years, before the good Lord saw fit to take him from me. Any words of wisdom as to how I get back into the dating game? I'm not ready yet...but ...eventually we all need companionship.
 
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lefty1122 is offline lefty1122 Post #56  February 1,2008, 12:00pm
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I learned never go out with a crazy woman, no matter how beautiful- Ive never been so verbally and physically abused in my life. Ill take stable and average any day -
 
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jerrir is offline jerrir Post #57  February 11,2008, 3:27pm
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I am having hard time moving on, my heart was not the only thing involved, so was my pocket !!! finace hurt also..... but to be with out him in my life is a blessing, to controlling..... learn to have it my way or the highway.......
 
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jerrir is offline jerrir Post #58  February 11,2008, 3:28pm
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sound"s bad but my guard is up!!!!!!!
 
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jerrir is offline jerrir Post #59  February 11,2008, 3:31pm
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rmlady,46385 wrote :
RMLady I think having the same sort of vision for your life to-gether is helpful. In looking back over my 25 yrs of marriage that was the one major componenet that was lacking. I tried to work within the parameters I tought were there but in retrospect we had no common purpose. Both my ex and I came from an emotionally draining past lives and I think we just wanted some one to love us so we got together. One thing I have learned about myself is to be honest with myself about what I will put up with and not put up with and stand up for those things. While dating he was a good partner buying into the things I liked to do which flattered me but after we were married it was no we an't do those things any more. I just accepted it insted of standing up for what I wanted. Now 25 years later I finally did and not getting any positive response I grew a back bone and divorced him. Better late then never I guess.
go girl, I am woman hear my roar! stand up pat yourself on the back!!!!!!!!
 
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jerrir is offline jerrir Post #60  February 11,2008, 3:33pm
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Nice As New,45322 wrote :
from my ex, i learned not to enter a relationship soon after you have broken up from one. i learned that what you expect from a person is not always what you get even though you are a giver of what you expect from your mate. i learned to look at what is not spoken instead of what is spoken because actions speaks a lot louder than words. i guess my communication skills were enhanced from this break up. I am a much better person in knowing what type of person I want to share my surrounding with just by having gone through this ex experience.
How true How true this is!!!!!!!!!
 
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