What You Can Learn From Your Ex

What You Can Learn From Your Ex

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What You Can Learn From Your Ex


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Nice As New is offline Nice As New Post #11  December 20,2007, 8:52am
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from my ex, i learned not to enter a relationship soon after you have broken up from one. i learned that what you expect from a person is not always what you get even though you are a giver of what you expect from your mate. i learned to look at what is not spoken instead of what is spoken because actions speaks a lot louder than words. i guess my communication skills were enhanced from this break up. I am a much better person in knowing what type of person I want to share my surrounding with just by having gone through this ex experience.
 
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Ms. Nikki is offline Ms. Nikki Post #12  December 20,2007, 12:55pm
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I have learned from my ex that no matter how much you want it, if it's not meant for you, it won't work. I compromised a lot and in the process, lost myself along the way. He gladly took all of the goodness that I gave, and continued to live like a single man and reap the benefits of a marriage. We were nothing alike and like niceness and schippeyes, I thought that the sexual chemistry was love, but it wasn't. I believe that he had love for me, but he was never in love with me, and when I realized that, I stopped giving of myself completely. I don't resent him, I just wish that we hadn't married and then it would be easier on my children, since we have been together for 14 years and married only three. I will take this as a learning experience, give my children all of the love that I can, and be sure of the next man that comes into my life, and not just hope that he will change once we marry.
 
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luvofmusic is offline luvofmusic Post #13  December 20,2007, 3:54pm
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Hey Sarah I think we should get our ex's together. My ex girlfriend had the same issues. It was as if there was a 500 lb elephant in the room but you could not talk about it or she would ignore it was there. I learned I definitely want someone that will communicate and be willing to work on the relationship.
 
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LET is offline LET Post #14  December 20,2007, 7:13pm
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i learned a great deal from a past friendship/relationship. It was very difficult for me to admit at the time or after it ended because of all the rejection, hurt, anger, bitterness..etc I felt. However, after all that was gone, I have to admit I saw clearly what i did wrong. Sometimes it's not so much what you did but what you didn't do. You think you are not doing harm by not speaking up because you don't want to stir any trouble but I found out the hard way that is not the case all the time. I believe it's how you communicate and how you approach one another makes a whole lot of difference. The article is right about letting go of the above and learning from it for the next time around. I think it's up to the individual on how bad they want it and learn to accept yourself and choose to make any changes on your part, if necessary. All in all whether we like to admit or not, we all can learn from past relationships and mistakes we have made. I believe that each one is a stepping stone to our destined partner.
 
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kirkdk is offline kirkdk Post #15  December 20,2007, 8:13pm
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Those who do not learn from their mistakes are destined to repeat them.
 
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shea0614 is offline shea0614 Post #16  December 20,2007, 8:26pm
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I definately feel like I can relate to this article. I am a firm believer that everyone that comes into your life comes for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I've also had three serious relationships and while am still a bit bitter about the last one, as more time passes the more my eyes open up. Each person I've been with has taught me an important lesson about myself, about life, and about relationships. Though the heartbreak is difficult, I know that like all things this too shall pass and in the end I will be a stronger more experienced person.
 
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WendyW is offline WendyW Post #17  December 20,2007, 8:48pm
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I so need to read what I have just read. It's good to know that I'm not the only one experiencing a breakup. It's so hard when I feel that I keep getting 'dumped'. I hate that term. I'm not sure what I've learned - probably a combination of all that everyone has stated. I believe that I confused lust/sexual chemistry with love or hoping that it would turn into love. Alas, it never did or maybe we tried to turn it into something but like someone said, no matter how much you want it or try, if it's not meant to be, it will not be. I strive to be hopeful like the rest of you and continue to have faith.
 
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EndlessJoyInLife is offline EndlessJoyInLife Post #18  December 20,2007, 8:51pm
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Every trait we identify in another, whether it's their strength or weakness, is really an opportunity for our own reflection and growth. The bigger challenge is whether or not we are strong enough to seize that opportunity and come to know our strengths or weaknesses just a bit better! Our relationships, for better or worse, mirror ourselves in so many ways.
 
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Grateful is offline Grateful Post #19  December 20,2007, 10:18pm
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I have learned alot about myself, and what i see from my last long relationship was I always said 'fine' when it really wasn't 'fine'! I'll never do that again! It's very difficult to open your heart when it keeps getting pounced on, and that is what I keep experiencing lately. I miss the companionship of a man terribly, and when the once in a blue moon man comes along that I like, he really is not ready and available for me. What is up with that? Something for me to take a look at...
 
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marcmantoo is offline marcmantoo Post #20  December 21,2007, 1:56am
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Awesome article, I learned so much about myself through my divorce five years ago and I am still learning more today.
 
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