but I really want to meet other women


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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #1  June 27,2009, 9:28am

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Someone has tasked me with coming up with a more lighthearted thread....I've wracked my brain...maybe this will qualify, lol.

I'm noticing something that I feel is missing in my life, and I'm not sure if its because I move around a lot, or if it's just a fact of getting older.

I don't have a problem meeting men....what I really want in my life, is more women! Does anyone else feel this way? Is it really that hard to meet same-sex friends later in life? How do you go about it? Do you find they are too busy with their own families or that they will dump you the minute they enter a new relationship? Is that why a lot of you are here? To connect with people in a more meaningful way than you do in your day to day interactions?

I feel that having female friends is the thing I miss most about being younger....they were always there and we always had fun things to do together. And, its naturally a way to go out and meet people of the opposite sex...when you have a wing-man or wing-woman. Though, that is not my main reason for missing my same-sex friends.

I do have a great group of female friends....scattered about the country. Not here in my new city.

Anyone else feel this way? How do you meet people of the same-sex? Have you retained a close knit group of friends beyond the marriage/kids years? Do they live nearby? Are you just looking for a partner and don't really care about your friendships?

Personally, this came to mind for me when I returned to check on the meetup.com groups...it has dawned on me (and not just for the first time, but again) that I really want to meet other women....not just men. This time, I decided to join groups (who knows if I will ever actually particpate....lol) that are focused on meeting other girlfriends or volunteering (with other women...).

Just some thoughts...and...well sorry maybe not lighthearted enough!
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #2  June 27,2009, 9:51am
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I lived in another European country for 11 years before getting divorced and had to move. There I had a huge network of girlfriends due to the International School our kids went to, the International Clubs and so forth. After the divorce I had to move and I now live in the UK (wasn't my choice). Being single and not having any kids at home any longer makes it way more difficult to get new friends. I have been a member of a fitness club for 6 years now and have tried to get new girlfriends but with no luck. They keep saying, "we'll have to meet for a drink/coffee" but it never happens as they all have family/children/grandchildren. I do too but they don't live nearby. My neighbours are younger couples with smaller children so they have their own groups. So yes, it does get more difficult.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  June 27,2009, 10:12am
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cp30 wrote :
what I really want in my life, is more women! Does anyone else feel this way?

Yes! I so know how you feel.

I also want more women! More, more, more!

And I want them now, now, now!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  June 27,2009, 12:26pm
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Hey! We've been relocated!
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #5  June 27,2009, 12:56pm

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In my opinion this really is a dating topic. We have been talking about where to meet people outside of the internet. Also, I'm sure I am not alone in feeling that same sex friends help us to date.

I think this was a little bit rash of a move decision...now it will just die...
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #6  June 27,2009, 1:10pm

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cp30 wrote :
Just some thoughts...and...well sorry maybe not lighthearted enough!
He! He! Yeah, you are making me think again, cp!!

I am lucky because with my friends I have the luxury of being the flake. I can usually meet people pretty easily once I am out. It is the getting out that can be tough. Life seems to get really busy and then not so busy and then really busy again so sometimes when I have downtime - I want it all to me. I think I have become more introverted as I have gotten older.

I am also very lucky that one of my close friends is the same way about liking people and she gets me out doing things. She usually plans things and I get to just enjoy. So my circle of friends only gets as big as her circle grows. But we do branch out. Ha! And when I say we, I really mean she! But I get to reap all the benefits of an expanding friend circle without any of the hassles of the regular small talk to maintain the relationship. He! He! So it works really well.

Just today her uncle left her a voice mail inviting me camping with them all. Of course on the voice mail, he said I need to use my indoor voice, and that I can't laugh (I have that annoying loud laugh!) and I can't smoke. And I think the only thing he was teasing about was the smoking. lol!

But I think meeting girlfriends is slower as we get older just because we don't really have the time or opportunity like when we were younger.

I am blessed to have several solid girlfriends in my life. Three are married and have kids and of those two, two are out of state. But I still manage to see them every couple of months or so. My other girlfriend, the one mentioned earlier, I see quite a bit. It is funny but last summer was really crazy for me. I was traveling a lot for business, pleasure and family - which can be pleasure and can be a pain - but the summer was hectic - I had the weekends packed for weeks!. And since I had not been home much, when I was home I just wanted to relax but there were so many things that needed to get done but I did not want to do them - so it was never restful!! That summer, my friend's house was like my oasis. I could just go there and chill and have fun and be totally relaxed. That was my vacation!!!
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #7  June 27,2009, 1:12pm

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cp30 wrote :
In my opinion this really is a dating topic. We have been talking about where to meet people outside of the internet. Also, I'm sure I am not alone in feeling that same sex friends help us to date.

I think this was a little bit rash of a move decision...now it will just die...
We will just thread jack it so it does not die!
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #8  June 27,2009, 1:19pm

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hey lizzie.

Yeah....I see my friends a suprising amount considering none of them live in Texas!

I had a friend here in Texas I was seeing a lot but....she was a little mental, and definitley the type to disappear once a guy was on the radar.

Another girl, she was kinda cool too, but it seemed that she wanted to keep me and the other girl as far away as possible so she could be the only girl in a group of guys we would sometimes hang out with.

I think relocating is doubly hard to make new friends because most people already have a set of friends they do things with. So naturally its always easier to meet the opposite sex.

When I lived at home I would easily meet friends through other friends too....but in a new place its hard to start, and also to locate people you would really want to be good friends with.

The people I met, naturally lived in my building....a nice start but we really didnt have much in common beyond the superficial.
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #9  June 27,2009, 1:37pm
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cp30, you’re not alone there! Other than wanting more women in my life *grin* I’d like more male friends as well. All the guys I used to hang with- the ones I even *can* get an update on- are either married and/or have kids (no time), dating (don’t need another guy around ‘till she’s caught), moved waaaay out of state, in the military, or just plain dropped off the radar completely. I was one of the latter category until recently.

In some ways, it’s as hard to be social with guys as it is to ask a girl out. If I don’t have a reason to strike up a conversation- a good excuse, let’s say, it just doesn’t happen. While I can get along with most guys where I work, and the ones I talk to in the course of business, I don’t have many male friends right now. Since I don’t smoke or drink, I don’t have the icebreaker of these two shared activities.

I think LizziePooh has the whole social thing down more than any three of us put together- even if she is siphoning her social activity from her super extroverted friend. *grin*
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #10  June 27,2009, 1:39pm

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I keep trying to post different thoughts but all of them don't seem to come across accurately!!!! So I guess that means I am not sure what I want to say yet!!

Gosh dang it, cp! This was supposed to be light!

Go build me a date!!!
 
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