Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

About You Your healthy mind, body, and spirit play a vital role in all the important relationships of your life. Share your advice and insights here.

Reply
Page 3 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 Last »
 
LinkBack (2) Thread Tools
bigfincat bigfincat is offline
bigfincat's Avatar

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 3,147

See profile

k374 wrote :
How is it a man's fault? If she wants to have children and he isn't making that happen then obviously she should find another man yet most women just hang on to the guy thinking he will change his mind or whatever and then realize way too late that he isn't interested in either marriage to her or giving her children but that is her own fault not the man's fault.

I don't really believe in this 3,4, 5 yr dating stuff... in maximum 2 years two people should know everything about their future plans together and that includes marriage and family. After this time if one still doesn't know then it probably isn't happening!
I he clearly states that he does not want children then she should listen... but he is still being selfish if he stays knowing that he cannot give her what she wants. He should have the balls to let her go.

It is stupid on her part & selfish on his.
- June 20th, 2009, 02:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
Harvey7's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 1,080

See profile

I believe a vasectomy or stating that you had one or may have one will resolve that problem quickly.

Which brings up the next issue a "Prenuptial Agreement? Which many times is a deal breaker in most cases, how many women are willing to forgo sharing in your assets both prior to the marriage and jointly acquired after you've been married?

Most divorced men who have paid child support and /or alimony or both are willing to accept financial responsibility for a 2nd or third family? It's just to expensive and they are tired of being broke again!

What is their reward for being a good guy of sorts?

Harvey7.
Last edited by Harvey7; June 21st, 2009 at 02:03 am.
- June 21st, 2009, 01:46 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
Harvey7's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 1,080

See profile

k374 wrote :
The chances of a woman 35 or above, who has yet to meet a man, having biological children is low. Dating/Marriage etc. itself takes about 3-5 years and she will be 38-40 by the time she is ready which is just on the very edge of fertility.

However, adoption is always an option and perhaps by "Wants kids" they mean that they have a desire to adopt, although I've heard adoption is not quite as easy as it seems and is also a very expensive process.
A fool and his money are soon parted!
Women have healthy children into their mid 50"s now a days.
Do you also believe in the tooth fairy as well?

Harvey7.
- June 21st, 2009, 01:53 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
boarder4fun boarder4fun is offline
boarder4fun's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

It's sad to think that some people find fault with someone wanting to a kids so they duck responsibility or commitment. Grow up get over yourself as my single mom used to say. But women who wait until their 40's sorry but the risk you are taking for the kid and yourself is not right. If you say I was too busy making a career, then that's the bed you made you have to sleep in it. You made a choice now live with it.
- June 21st, 2009, 02:47 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
neardc neardc is offline
neardc's Avatar

neardc What year is it again?

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 5,474

See profile

Harvey7 wrote :
A fool and his money are soon parted!
Women have healthy children into their mid 50"s now a days.
Do you also believe in the tooth fairy as well?

Harvey7.
Fertility does indeed decline significantly and rapidly after age 40 (and is certainly much lower by age 45, with pregnancy risks also being higher). It's not that "no" women have babies after that age, but it's certainly not wise to assume that one will be able to get pregnant and carry a baby to term in one's 40s, especially without fertility treatments.

It would be very rare for a woman in her 50s to have children naturally (most women are post-menopausal by their early 50s and thus infertile). The kind of fertility treatments that would be needed to produce a viable pregnancy at that age would be quite expensive.
- June 21st, 2009, 03:14 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

LizziePooh LizziePooh is online now
LizziePooh's Avatar

LizziePooh would enjoy a song.

Power Poster

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 5,183

See profile

Yes, there is a clock ticking for these women that are in this age range and want to have kids of their own but that does not mean they are just looking for a sperm donor.

You assume that women that are of this age and that do want kids that that desire to want kids overrides any common sense. Which is not true.

When I became single again, I felt that clock. I could not help not to. Since I was about 33 years old at the time I did the math. I figured it would take me about two years to know if I really want to marry someone and then once married, I did not want to have kids right away. I wanted to enjoy being married. So you figure 33 yrs + 2 years to get married + 2 years to enjoy being married and I am now looking at having kids at the age of 37 if I in fact, found the man that I eventually would marry right then.

Just because I understood the math and the time frame involved does not mean that I would throw all common sense and reasoning out the window. I want to find a man that I can share a life with. If I marry, I plan to be married for my lifetime.

Now, at my current age - I have decided not to have any biological children of mine own. Instead of feeling like that is a negative it is actually a positive. It has been liberating for me. I do not feel such a rush to get back out in the dating scene because I have to. I feel like I can just relax and let things happen as they should - instead of actively trying to make things happen. I would be quite content to be a step-mom or maybe adopted an older child. Or I could just be content being the real fun aunt to hang out with.
- June 21st, 2009, 01:31 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
LizziePooh LizziePooh is online now
LizziePooh's Avatar

LizziePooh would enjoy a song.

Power Poster

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 5,183

See profile

bigfincat wrote :
I he clearly states that he does not want children then she should listen... but he is still being selfish if he stays knowing that he cannot give her what she wants. He should have the balls to let her go.

It is stupid on her part & selfish on his.
Five stars for you, BigCat!
- June 21st, 2009, 01:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#27   Reply With Quote
chawks64 chawks64 is online now
chawks64's Avatar

chawks64 is trying very hard to be patient. Definitely not my best talent.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 5,214

See profile

k374 wrote :
Sounds like a doctor quack to me. It is well established in the medical community that fertility falls off a precipice after 40. Are there rare exceptions... of course, but then there are people who jump off a 3 story building and survive, that doesn't mean the odds are good or it is "common" as your doctor quack states.
Thanks for the free (you get what you pay for) medical advice, Doc. Yes, age has quite a bit to do with it, but over the past 5 or 10 years, the medical community's consensus has been that general physical health is much more of a factor than age alone. I have no problem with the fact that you disagree, but assuming someone's trusted medical professional is an incompetent "quack" solely because they disagree with your layman's opinion is just obnoxious.
- June 21st, 2009, 02:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#28   Reply With Quote
danimal1968 danimal1968 is offline
danimal1968's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Feb 2009

Posts: 43

See profile

Mayne wrote :
Any guys paranoid that women in their late 30's/early 40's who say they want kids are in race against the biological clock and are just looking for the first suitable husband/sperm donor they can find? only to be dumped a few years later? I recall reading a stat that something like 80% of all divorces are initiated by the woman.
I recall reading that there are little green men from Mars too, but that doesn't make it true.
- June 21st, 2009, 03:14 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#29   Reply With Quote
goldengirl7676 goldengirl7676 is offline
goldengirl7676's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 123

See profile

chawks64 wrote :
Thanks for the free (you get what you pay for) medical advice, Doc. Yes, age has quite a bit to do with it, but over the past 5 or 10 years, the medical community's consensus has been that general physical health is much more of a factor than age alone. I have no problem with the fact that you disagree, but assuming someone's trusted medical professional is an incompetent "quack" solely because they disagree with your layman's opinion is just obnoxious.
Thanks for the back-up, chawks. The aforementioned advice came from a female OBGYN. She has an M.D. from a respected university, did her residency at a prestigious hospital in Boston and has been in practice for more than 20 years. I think that qualifies her to know a bit more about this subject than the average Joe or Joanne on the eH boards. I'd hardly call her a quack.
- June 21st, 2009, 09:43 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#30   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 3 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 Last »

Bookmarks

« L'Oréal's 'Find Your Fall Hair Color' Sweepstakes! | Array | Latest discovery »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/about-you/26022-women-late-30s-early-40s-who-say-they-want-kids.html
Posted By For Type Date
Dating advice message board This thread Refback November 8th, 2009 12:49 pm
Women in late 30's/early 40's who say they want kids - Page 3 - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards – eHarmony Advice This thread Refback July 19th, 2009 09:46 am

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man eharmonyadvice Ask a Dating Expert 595 February 6th, 2010 03:18 pm
so then a women who is not real pretty can never find love???? kat5560 Dating 110 December 31st, 2009 12:03 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It happens to all of us... it happened to me. The main thing to remember is that your happiness is your responsibility. Do not give that power to anyone else. It's okay to always be who you are... ... ” – jussmile

Join the “She broke my heart, but is it my fault?” discussion

“What I learned was: 1- Guys tend to overstate their height and women to understate theirs ( I am 5'11" with a penchant for wearing heels or platforms... let's just leave it at many a one date ... ” – vegaschick

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“I think the boyfriend is selfish in not wanting to use condoms...even if he's allergic to latex, there are may other options around. Plus there are more side effects with pills than condoms. Heck if ... ” – PY_2

Join the “argued about birth control methods” discussion

“My problem with the must havescan't stands, is that with some...the descriptive single word defines my want or don't want, but the corresponding sentence further describing the word either goes too ... ” – Well_Spoken_Man1

Join the “Must Have/Can't Stand Mistake?” discussion

“Hi Lookingandlooking (and everyone), I’m glad that you’re having so much fun with this thread. I just wanted to reinforce the idea of giving people a little bit of time – I have seen some people ... ” – eH_Advice_Host_Kate

Join the “Incomplete profile - why bother?” discussion

“How horrible of their mother to spend Christmas with her kids! Assuming she didn't sleep in the same room with the guy, I don't see the problem. Why do the kids need to "come to terms with their ... ” – Amateurlover

Join the “Ex and kids” discussion

“It depends on the poster. I don't necessarily agree or side with somebody just because of gender.” – PY_2

Join the “He said She said” discussion

“This is not true. You get one Nudge "per Stage". This is why it is very important to save them until a FCW, just in case they aren't a paying member. Now, "Photo Nudges", those expire after a week, ... ” – tweet37

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:17 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0