No physical interests, ever

Some of you may have seen me around here giving my perspective on sex and love, and I hope I've made an impact. But the fact is I have my own serious issue. I'm not in a relationship, and I haven't dated in about 6 years, so it's obvious I'm not receiving any sort of physical or emotional stimulation right now (and I'm not the type to try a one-nighter). I'm a very mentally driven person; I like to analyze all aspects of a potential relationship, I prefer women that I can engage in intelligent conversations with, and I must be emotionally vetted before I will try anything physical. Now the fact isn't that I'm not meeting people. It is possible I'm not trying hard enough. What's going on is that I've never gotten to the point of really wanting a physical intimacy with anyone.
I accept sex. I find to be important and desirable. Although I am intentionally practicing abstinence until marriage, I've never had to tell a woman no because I don't do anything else physically. It doesn't get to that point because even before I get to a first date I either come off as too cold or shy or disinterested. Even if I get married I don't know by that point if I will lust enough for physical intimacy to act. I don't know if having a low libido is unhealthy, but like I said this goes beyond that. And I don't know how to change that about myself. I don't even know if it's a problem; my female friends (who I want and need to be strictly platonic) won't talk to me about it since I'm not even sure they notice it (I do bring it up though, and to the guys too). Maybe they don't see me as the type who'll be able to date anyone. I'm not asking for a hand out or hook up, I just want to know what women think. But the fact is, I know I'm capable of telling someone I'm interested and I know actions speak louder than words, but I won't touch them. I don't expect them to touch me. I don't need it, and I know it's not wrong to want it, but I never really act on mere desires. It's like I don't see myself as someone able to handle such a relationship. I don't know if it's a maturity thing or not; even though I can't really define someone who's mature, I would hope that as often as I can, I fit that description.
The most logical guess I expect people to say is that it's a normal shyness that I'll get over, but it's not a dating anxiety. I'm like this with everyone. Although I have been treated for anxiety, it's not bad enough to cause panic attacks in close physical proximity to someone else. I can do it, but tend not to. And there's no way to practice; friends are always working, dating scene's terrible, and I have essentially no close family of which to speak. Even the people I already love don't show affection towards each other or to me. Frankly, I've never seen a need for it, and although I'm in the minority on a lot of things, this is a situation truly like no one else I've ever talked to. I know I'm not clinically depressed, a victim of abuse, or gay, so that's not why I don't seek out touching or anything beyond that. I don't think it's a lack of confidence; I contact women I'm interested in often, and when I'm with people I make appropriate eye contact, I listen, I smile, I engage.
At the end of it all though, I don't even so much as look forward to holding hands. I don't understand why I should need it as someone who never needed it before in my life, but I think I want it. I definitely don't miss it. I don't know what it's supposed to be like. So what I'm really asking for advice on is this: Is what is going on in my life normal growing up/dating jitters, or does it sound like a legitimate psychiatric problem? Do you feel physical intimacy is more of a need or a want? Has anyone experienced this before and gotten over it? Will it amend itself over time as I get more used to physical desire or should I see a doctor? My friends can't help me, but the kindness of strangers with good ideas may be just what I need.

Here's a simple question to ask yourself -- and you don't have to tell us the answer, but here goes... Do you masturbate? Can you be aroused when by yourself? If the answer is no, I'd say you have a hormone issue, low testosterone, what have you. Go see a doctor who can run some tests. If the answer is yes, you are capable of being aroused, do masturbate, but simply have no interest in being intimate with someone else... that's a personality/psychological issue. If it bothers you, go see a shrink who specializes in this sort of thing.

I'm not a doctor or a therapist, but I know a little bit in this area, so I'll take a stab at it. But please keep in mind that this is only an educated guess and nothing more.

From what I can gather, you are over-analyzing. My guess is you have some control issues (as in giving it up), and I think it is very much related to your anxiety disorder. When I read your post, I see you trying to convert feelings and emotions into logic, thought and understanding, it gives you more control over them. Overly analytical people often come across as distant, self-absorbed and disinterested, athough there are various degrees of this.

Physical intimacy is a need and a want. It's not just about sex, it can be just holding hands and feeling closer to another human being. It produces a warm tingly feeling inside, that no logic can describe (well, you can with science, but what's the point?). There is no logical thinking or undertanding involved in this process, it's instinctive and even animals hold each other, in their own way.

You can try this excercise, I'm not sure if it'll help in your case, but it can't hurt. When you are with a woman (and yes, you need to find one first for this excercise, but maybe just a friend first), stop analyzing and consciously try to relax. First just move closer to her than you are comfortable with. Do this in small increments at first. Hold her hand for a minute, concentrate on the sensation it produces, then release and, since you like thinking so much , think about how it made you feel. Try that on a few different occasions. You should enjoy the feeling (even if it feels a little uncomfortabe) and want to do it again. Once that feels comfortable, progress to holding her close. Don't rush, take baby steps and don't push too far too soon. You also need to explain your situation to the woman you are with, so that she doesn't freak out.

If this doesn't work, then you certainly do need to see a therapist. And there is also a possibility that you may have a hormonal deficiency. So seeing a doctor and having some blood tests done cannot hurt at all.

And one last thing "actions speak louder than words" is a great saying. BUT while most men respond more readily to visual stimuli, most women respond more to audio stimuli, so whispering sweet nothings in her ear can be wonderful

Good luck! Hope it all works out for you.

Let me tell you that I now know what teenage boys feel like...LOL!

Do tell
I've always wanted to become a man for a couple of days, just to see what it's like on the other side. Now you are giving me ideas...