Resurrecting the Girly Girl: The Lost Art of Feminine Wiles

Resurrecting the Girly Girl: The Lost Art of Feminine Wiles

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Resurrecting the Girly Girl: The Lost Art of Feminine Wiles


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fireice is offline fireice Post #1  June 5,2009, 9:04pm
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I find it hard to balance being girlie without looking high maintenance.  I am naturally a girlie girl so why not be who I am?  Any suggestions? By all means I believe in chivalry! How you allow or don't allow a date to treat you can set the pace for the whole relationship.  I know I can open my own door and will hold a door for any stranger with their arms full, but if a man is thinking about me and my comfort how can that possibly be a bad thing.   By the way, when a man does any of these things, say thank you.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #2  June 6,2009, 9:32pm
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A lot of women have the girly girl thing down.

I don't have a problem with that as long as it does not approach princess status. I will be chivalrous but it is much better if it is not expected. It is a sign of being high-maintenance if a woman has a lot of expectations. If someone likes having things done for them & appreciates that then great. Most men like to do for the women in their lives but most will also find "expectations" to be a 4 letter word.

I do hope that behavior will just come naturally. If it is completely unnatural for the man to open a certain door then the woman waiting for said door to be opened would be very artificial. It is almost like asking for a compliment.

I am also not a fan of delicate. I like a woman that is ladylike but has no problem getting dirty or play wrestling. An athletic woman is a positive.

More importantly, I want a woman to be herself without even considering what role she ought to be playing.

If you are a girly girl, then be that.

The feminine wiles that you speak of do sound like game playing & if so I'll pass on that every time.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  June 6,2009, 10:48pm

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bigfincat wrote :

...I do hope that behavior will just come naturally. If it is completely unnatural for the man to open a certain door then the woman waiting for said door to be opened would be very artificial. It is almost like asking for a compliment.

I am also not a fan of delicate. I like a woman that is ladylike but has no problem getting dirty or play wrestling. An athletic woman is a positive.

More importantly, I want a woman to be herself without even considering what role she ought to be playing.

If you are a girly girl, then be that.

The feminine wiles that you speak of do sound like game playing & if so I'll pass on that every time.
i'll second that, and bring up another point.

I like when a guy opens doors and sends flowers and such, but it's not nessesary. if it's not ingrained behavior, all that usually fizzles out after the 2nd date and it just makes the guy seem like he's trying to hard to be something he's not to impress me or whatever.

for someone like me to play bashful and overly girly ( in personality, not dress etc) in order to get and keep a man would make me miserable in a very short time.
 
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777nom is offline 777nom Post #4  June 12,2009, 10:21am

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While I was growing up, I always thought of myself as a tomboy. Now, as I start to date again, I find that I'm quite feminine. Without knowing it, I realized that I buy feminine clothing. I'm attracted to sparkly jewelry. I shave my legs and read articles about make-up while I get a pedicure. I've read Jane Eyre about 20 times. Pride and Prejucice about 12 times and Gone with the Wind and Scarlett about 25 times.

I have no ex or husband so I'm used to doing things by myself. I own a house and am raising two boys. There are times when I don't know how to fix something. I have no problem using my sex appeal to get neighborhood men to fix things. Somehow I innately know how to smile, flick my hair back, and make my eyes sparkle. I naturally have a little girl voice. I don't do it on purpose.

Yet, I have been able to run my own show for 8 years. My son says I'm General Patton reincarnated. He also says I'm part man and part woman.

I listen to bands like Metallica, Distrubed, Korn and Kid Rock. I drive with the sunroof open and the windows down, blaring Metal ,but my car is yellow. I like heavy metal but I also like Alicia Keys, Sting, and Seal.

I also adore the mililtary channel and I love reading war books. I have no problem baiting a fishing hook. I'm not afraid of snakes, spiders, mice ect.... I love getting filthy and I don't complain when I break a nail (although I have flowers painted on them.)

I crack up when I watch South Park. Yet, I always cry when I watch Shakespeare in Love.

When I was a kid, I used to play with my sister and two cousins. We had special names. My cousin Stevie was Smart Stevie, Bradly was Funny Bradly, Tina was Pretty Tina, I was Strong Nom and I am strong. I have to be. I always had to compete with my beautiful sister. When people met us, all I heard was how beautiful she was.

My mom was always on my case about my hair being messy. "Why can't you be more like your sister. Comb your hair, tuck your shirt in. Stand up straight. "

One day, my dad looked at me and said, "You know, your sister has beautiful hair, and she knows how to dress but you have a beautiful face and a beautiful soul."

That's all I needed to feel beautiful and feminine. Honestly though, I like being General Patton. It comes in handy sometimes.

Having strength and determination doesn't diminish femininity - any ante -bellum southern woman would tell you that they should be together.

Nom
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  June 12,2009, 4:44pm

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Dads.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #6  June 12,2009, 5:08pm
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It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

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The problem with being a girly girl is there aren't enough manly men. I know I'm likely to take heat for saying this, but men just don't step up to the plate in a traditional way anymore. So, women have to take on roles and do things not so girly. Then, when they do, the complaint becomes they are high-maintenance or that foul word that begins with a B.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #7  June 12,2009, 5:27pm

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as we recently found out, if you don't put up your own drywall or dig your own well you are needy.

so which is, men?
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #8  June 12,2009, 6:08pm
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CreolePrincess wrote :
The problem with being a girly girl is there aren't enough manly men. I know I'm likely to take heat for saying this, but men just don't step up to the plate in a traditional way anymore. So, women have to take on roles and do things not so girly. Then, when they do, the complaint becomes they are high-maintenance or that foul word that begins with a B.
There is no way that you could ever get me on board with the idea that manly = traditional.

Being a girly girl also has nothing to do with traditional either. Many career women are girly girls.

Traditional women were expected to have hot meals on the table when the man gets home from work with the house clean & the bedroom ready.

I just do not see that as healthy so therefore I'll pass.

Does it make me unmanly to not want that or to want more for the woman in my life??

That was a rhetorical question as I already know the answer to that one.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #9  June 12,2009, 11:21pm
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fireice wrote :
I find it hard to balance being girlie without looking high maintenance. I am naturally a girlie girl so why not be who I am? Any suggestions? By all means I believe in chivalry! How you allow or don't allow a date to treat you can set the pace for the whole relationship. I know I can open my own door and will hold a door for any stranger with their arms full, but if a man is thinking about me and my comfort how can that possibly be a bad thing. By the way, when a man does any of these things, say thank you.
I love this post, actually.
My advice to you - don't change!
I love being "girly". Unfortunately I don't get to be very girly at work, which is where I spend most of my time. But I still like to do my nails, hair, etc. and feel like a woman, not an asexual robot. I'm all for gender equality, but when I'm with a man, I'm attracted to his masculinity (amongst other factors), and I believe that most men are attracted to femininity in women. Otherwise, what's the point? Just don't take it overboard, that's all. If you do not expect a man to be your servant, it will come out in your attitudes and your behavior. There is a difference between expecting to be treated like a precious gem, and simply enjoying it when it happens. Go for it!
 
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BobinFla is offline BobinFla Post #10  June 13,2009, 10:26pm
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CreolePrincess wrote :
The problem with being a girly girl is there aren't enough manly men. I know I'm likely to take heat for saying this, but men just don't step up to the plate in a traditional way anymore. So, women have to take on roles and do things not so girly. Then, when they do, the complaint becomes they are high-maintenance or that foul word that begins with a B.
Some men quit stepping up to the plate when the big push for the ERA ammendment was trying to be pushed through. But even with that, it takes a person that can accept another for the person they are. My hat is off to those women who still try to be feminine, and to the guys who help keep chivalry alive. If done right, both these things will help build up the other sex.
 
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