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FunLovin is offline FunLovin Post #1  May 23,2009, 10:37pm
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Ok to stay away from being a standard sob story I will keep this short. I lost the best person I have ever met and after 3 weeks still feel pain like I have never felt before so decided to try moving on and maybe finally try getting out with someone.

Ok enough about me whining about losing "the one". So I need to know if there are any good dating books out there? I have read about everything on this site and after a very short time after signing up eharmony is starting to look like a bad idea for me. I keep getting the "match closed" so just not very good at the online dating thing and need to do more on my own.

Oh and for all of those that say I need to get out and enjoy life....I workout 4 days a week and try everything that used to make me happy. I have read all of the articles on here and working on taking the advice I have read
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  May 24,2009, 3:44pm
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How long is the "very short time after signing up for eHarmony?"
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #3  May 24,2009, 6:27pm
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D_Lion wrote :
How long is the "very short time after signing up for eHarmony?"
That is a good question. I have been on eHarmony for three months now and haven't been on any dates yet. It can take a very long time to finally meet someone. As for people closing you, that happens to the best of us. As for wanting to get a book on dating, I find it hard to believe that a book is going to change the overall rate of good matches, there are far to many variables and many of those have nothing to do with you being a bad dater.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #4  May 26,2009, 8:52am
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DON'T TRY TO LOOK FOR A NEW RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOU ARE REALLY OVER THE LAST!

It doesn't sound like this is the case at all!

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About EH: One of the first lessons that most everyone needs to learn when dealing with EH is to adjust their time horizons. We join thinking weeks. The reality is that we need to be thinking months and years.

It's disillusioning when EH doesn't provide a "Stepford Wife" after paying your first $25.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #5  May 26,2009, 5:47pm
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DDjr wrote :
DON'T TRY TO LOOK FOR A NEW RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOU ARE REALLY OVER THE LAST!

It doesn't sound like this is the case at all!

-----------------------------------------

About EH: One of the first lessons that most everyone needs to learn when dealing with EH is to adjust their time horizons. We join thinking weeks. The reality is that we need to be thinking months and years.

It's disillusioning when EH doesn't provide a "Stepford Wife" after paying your first $25.
I absolutely agree with this! You can't look for love when you are still in pain over a relationship.

You didn't say how long you were together, but you think this might have been "the one" (although I believe there isn't just one soul mate out there for each of us)--so you might need to give it quite a bit of time in the range of months before you are ready for moving on.

The best thing to do is to spend time doing what you are doing now. When you find it enjoyable again and are no longer pining for your lost love, then it is time to find someone new to fit into your life.
 
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dababb54 is offline dababb54 Post #6  May 26,2009, 7:56pm
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you must get to the point that you are okay with yourself first. Enjoy you. I have been by myself for several years. I have dated a little. The last kiss was in Jan 2006. It was amazing. When you are ready, that special someone will walk into your life. Just don't look for them. Just happen upon them.
 
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miranne is offline miranne Post #7  May 27,2009, 10:35am
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It took me 10 months to get over my last relationship. I signed up for match.com and had quite a bit of success, but dating when you are not really ready to move on never works.

You should be happy they closed your match and not worry about having to waste actual time w/ that person. They're doing you a favor
 
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